To think it is wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men?

[Extremelychocolatey]

The men in question are Elton John and David Furnish.

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It feels wrong on so many levels.

Sorry, remind me, has the OP actually clarified why she thinks it's unreasonable or was her post just trying to start a bun fight?

Of course the child has a mother. My father died when I was young, but I still knew that he existed and missed him.

All very well, but how will the child feel when he grows up?

SugarMousePink- Thanks for that. Sounds like an ill concieved excuse for a bunfight.
I suppose, if you are going to indulge in such things, best not to make yourself sound like a raging homophobe in the process.

I think it's a bit unfair to speculate on the 'who is his mother' question as you don't know what the arrangement is, and you certainly don't know what they will tell him as he grows up. He has a biological mother who contributed DNA and a gestational mother who carried him to term and gave birth to him; but he does not have a woman as one of his parents (a useful reminder, perhaps that in this sense the term 'mother' means 'a woman in a parental role').

as to how the child will feel when he grows up, I am sure it will be in Hello in about 21 years time...(sorry, I know it was a serious question, but I just couldn't resist)

A child needs loving parents. It doesn't matter what sex those parents are.

EJ has long made it known how much he wanted a child. There was speculation that he only married Renata so that he could be a Dad.

Last year the couple tried to adopt an HIV positive child so that shows they are not after a designer baby. When the adoption failed (due to Elton's age) they promised to help mother and child financially.

I think their motivation is good and I wish them luck.

I have read all the posts, but based on the OP starting argument.....YES YOU ARE BEING UNREASONABLE!!!!

Good Luck to them.

Sorry should have said I have not read all the posts, would make more sense now. Still think YABU to OP, and I am glad there are so many other mumnetters out there who have made better arguements than I ever could, as to why.

yanbu to think two men can't have a baby and you are also being backward.

I think the problem is they are both quite old and won't necessarily last the childhood.

I cant actually believe that anyone would begrudge a couple to have a baby!!

every loving family deserves the right to have a child! weather that be adoption, surrogacy, IVF or naturally.

Gay or straight!!

I feel sorry for this baby already. In my opinion these two guys are just too old to be raising a baby together - they will have skipped two generations not one. Do you think these guys are going to get down on the floor and play with the baby for the next few years? I don't think so! Elton looks like he wouldn't be able to get up again too easily if he did!!! Betcha anything nannies will be a big feature of this kids life...
I'm a bit surprised as well, given how long this couple have been together, that they didn't decide to do this much sooner. That would have made some sense at least in my opinion.

Horribel On many levels. This child will have no mother and will certainly never know her.

Just because Californian law allows to gay men can have a child through IVF does not make it right that they should.

Elton john is a petulant, selfish, self-obsessed old boy of 63. His own partner Furnish did a documenatary on him some years ago called 'Tantrums and Tiaras' and it showed Elton John in a very unflattering light.

Times have changed and homosexuality has become more acceptable.
The needs of children have not, and that is to have a mother and a father as a role model, and to give them the love and security they need. Why should children be denied a mother because John and Furnish require another designer accessory? Money can't buy everything, unfortunately for this young baby boy, it has bought him.

knickersinatwist. Knowbody 'deserves' to have a baby, it is not a god given right. Money should not be able to buy babies.

I believe as long as a child has love they have nothing to worry about, weather that be a mom and dad or one parent or brought up by a grandparent,aunt, uncle,two men ect...
I would much rather see that than the horrible child abuse we see on the news about parents who do nasty things to their children even murder.
However on the other hand i could never hand a baby over to anyone and that is the bit that hits a nerve but then people do it. And some people in this world are cruel, maybe it won't happen to this child as given one of his parents would be Elton John and would not be subjected to playground bullying. But other children might if it was a normal family in a normal town, sad to say there are people out there with narrow minds.

ECF. The child will not have a 'mother'. The biological mother will not be able to be contacted and the surrogate is not the biologicaL mother. You say you missed your father when he died, how do you think this boy will feel? Knowing he has a mother, he will never meet and has not brought him up, she just sold her eggs, so that this two old boys could have a baby. Charming.

Horrible.

MyCounty you say ''times have changed and homosexuality has become more acceptable. The needs of children have not, and that is to have a mother and a father as a role model''

• can you expand further upon this, please

Zoe Williams wrote very intelligently about this in the Guardian this morning (apologies if anyone has already linked).

Re nannies: she quotes John as saying (some months ago before anyone had an inkling he was having a baby) "We don't want to put the raising of children into the hands of nannies and housekeepers. We want to be active parents."

this thread is beginning to repeat on me...

Quite a lot of people have raised the issue of surrogacy being the main problem here, amongst other things, of course.

To those posters who don't agree with surrogacy I wonder what your thoughts are on a stable, heterosexual couple who have exhausted all other routes of trying for their own biological baby and only have the hope of surrogacy remaining for a biological child? I think surrogates in general are getting a pretty rough ride on this thread and although there are always exceptions and people who have monetary reasons at the core of their reasoning to do it, there are also some bloody amazing women out there who are willing to do this for another couple.

I haven't thought enough about it or read enough about it to be hell bent on saying it is right or it is wrong, just amazed at some of the judginess on here, re surrogacy, most likely from people who conceived without too much difficulty.

I haven't read all the posts, because I'm busy, but I'm very happy for them.

They seem like a solid couple; been together ages despite being in the limelight and all the pressures that brings.

Good on 'em.

Boysarelikedogs. If you don't know why a baby needs a mother and a father. I'm sorry, ask your own parents! They may enlighten you!