To think it is wrong for a surrogate to have a child for two men?

[Extremelychocolatey]

The men in question are Elton John and David Furnish.

link

It feels wrong on so many levels.

for me it's simple.

If someone is handing over money in exchange for someone else's biological child then you have bought a baby, and the biological mother has sold a baby. I am of course talking of surrogacy where the surrogate is the baby's biological child and not where the surrogate is merely the carrier for the biological parents..

And I find it hard to believe that these children won't grow up with deep abandonment issues due to the fact that their biological mother carried them, and then handed them over to someone else in exchange for money.

wannabe - the money is just expenses. loss of earnings, extra icecream etc. no one is doing it for the money

At least the child is wanted and will be loved.
How many children are born who aren't wanted or loved.
I bet they'll make great parents.

Well ideally that´s how things should start.

I´m not sure what doesn´t sit easily with me.

The surrogacy, the donor aspect.

diddl would have been first in line to condemn mary (mother of god) that was one mother of a surrogacy [pious]

"diddl would have been first in line to condemn mary (mother of god) that was one mother of a surrogacy"

Na, would have thought she was trying to deny premarital sex.

wannaBe..i'm adopted and i don't have deep abandonment issues.
I know that when i was adopted times were different and social mores were different.
I believe that it's how you bring your children up.
Knowing how much they were/are wanted,not dwelling on 'being given away'.
And why should the Mother always keep the child?
Isn't Elton John the biological Father?

"wannabe - the money is just expenses. loss of earnings, extra icecream etc. no one is doing it for the money." bollocks. Even surrogates in the UK can get paid up to £15k in expenses - it does not cost that much to have a baby.

You don't suffer loss of earnings when pregnant - presumably you don't have to declare that this is a surrogacy and would be entitled to the same benefits/rights as any other pregnant woman, but taking six months mat leave would be your choice as you wouldn't have a baby to take care of...

I wondered that, riven. Also could the intended parents insist the surrogate terminate a pregnancy if it turned out to have a disability?

"Diddl - you would have had your judgey shawl on, wouldn't you? "

Yup, arms crossed over busom & tutting over fence to neighbours

md and what of the surrogate child's siblings - often surrogate mothers already have children of their own. As children they of course won't have the level of understanding to know what their mother is doing, but once they reach adulthood this understanding will be there that their mother carried their sibling and then handed him/her over to someone else.

And adoption is imho vastly different - there are the explanations of how the biological mother couldn't cope financially/how it was not acceptable to have a child out of wedlock back then/how they wanted to give the child a better life. None of those explanations work with a surrogacy where the child is essentially born into an already established family and then given to someone else leaving perhaps their only biological relations behind.

Well, I´m not particularly religious so it´s not that.

And I know that EJ & DF have been together for years & are obviously committed.

Maybe it´s just those two I don´t warm to

Good luck to them, I say!
They are going to need it. Still remember the sense of shock when we got DD1 home for first night, thinking...ok, now what?

Well really,whether you like them or not,really isn't your business.
We all don't like other people who have children but that doesn't give us the right to say they can't have children.

"Well EJ does have hair that looks unpleasantly pubic, so that's understandable grin"LOL

Maybe I feel less comfortable with the more intervention that there has been.

"We all don't like other people who have children but that doesn't give us the right to say they can't have children." Of course it does. Just because something is possible doesn't mean we all have to agree that it is right.

In a few years from now I imagine it will be possible to cloan humans/to select the gender/hair colour/height/weight of our potential offspring. I'm sure there will be plenty of people out there (myself included) that won't agree with it. We have the right to that opinion.