to be fing fed off at ss.....

[nilbymaaf]

I mean really....I feel like a criminal now. Why are they assessing me as a parent? All I did was try to protect my babies. My 5 year old autistic son had a medical examination at school, without my consent and without me there... He has been unable to sleep since and is still traumatised. The only reason I know is that he repeats things using echolalia all the time and has been saying ' what a healthy boy' 'open up say aaaah' I thought it was a bit strange and then the penny dropped. How dare they do that to him, I don't even know what they did. Why didn't they tell me, I wouldn't have refused permission.
Yes I know they have a job to do, but why act like this?

yes it was pretty shite. But it didn't last forever, once they'd done their report - and had seen that the "correct" steps to ensure the DS's safety had been taken (in our case exH had been treated in hospital and was in regular contact with hit CMHT, taking medication, etc etc) things were ok. Annoying having them there - but ok.

Actually I think the worst bit was the day that the Child Safety Agreement was fully lifted. We had a meeting........that involved people from every area of the DS's and our lives - so DS2's Head Teacher was there, a teacher from DS1's school I hardly knew, Health Visitor - the lot. They were all there - and of course at that meeting the WHOLE story was told - that was hard for a while going into the schools looking at the headteacher/senior teachers knowing that he knew what had happened in our home (in my case RIGHT next door to his school).

When the initial assessment was done they didn't know details - just that SSS wanted a report on how the DS's were doing at school/any concerns they had.

I actually get on really well with the head teacher at the infants (his mother runs the creche at church that all 3 DS's have been in - and I played for his Grandfathers funeral and attended the wake afterwards.

So knowing that he knew the details in full gory detail was hard for a bit. But it's never been mentioned - and it's not affected relationship with either school at all.

It might be a judgement, sparked by the most horrifying thing for most mums to go through. But not 'simple minded' : that is insulting on so many levels.
It is a slur on those with learning disabilities (like my ds), and you seem to think it levels things out after someone has called the ones that give your profession a bad name 'nazis'. I have an impression of you now, one where you think learning disabled people are plebs, and that you think it is acceptable to equate all people that are below you as 'simple minded'.

So to sum up:
Social Workers are not involved in genocide (on the whole), but some might be dependent on circumstances? Is that right?

That was for Altinkum

Do you know what it is Altinkum. I can criticise any other profession on mn. I might have a bad experience with an educational psychologist, and an ep on mn will come and tell me what should have happened differently. If I complain about a midwife or a doctor, people in the medical profession will come and post solutions or will post about how things should have been done. But for some reason, child protection social workers are always defensive, and always attack those that have been on the receiving end of bad practice.
Now midwives and doctors are notoriously overworked, and yet I have never met anyone with hatred for those they are meant to be serving.
I will not fall into the trap for excusing the 'mistakes' and bad practice of a profession which should be responsible for the lives of small children, and their families. It is not just a question of simply 'getting it wrong'. It is about the shattered lives, destroyed families.....If you know there are bad social workers, why are not they properly disciplined? why are not mistakes rectified?

Well said altinkum.

And for those who like comparing sw to Nazis, can I just say, as mildly as I can muster, that it's just not an effective way of eliciting sympathy and understanding. I've had family involvement with Nazis and family involvement with social workers, and only one of these ended up in torture and murder.

nilbymaaf - I don't think that's strictly true - have you been on some of the HV threads - or the teacher threads! And I've seen defensive (when there's realy bitching about an entire profession happened) posts from all walks of life on here

This thread got derailed near the start with people talking about their dreadful experiences with SS's - and then a bun fight.

I'm sure that if everyone takes a deep breath (and maybe a new thread out of AIBU??) then you'll get the advice. That you need. As you can see from teh deleted posts (which were NOTHING to do with you or your situation) this thread went off track a long time ago and perhaps a new one would be best?

FWIW - the SW from CP who was so dreadful with "mysteriously" wasn't working for them very shortly after we'd seen her......she also disappeared off the GSCC website.

When you suffer at the hands of bad social workers, they shatter your life because they make mistakes.
I think you are expecting too much, people mistrust ss for good reason. Because when children are removed without reason, when babies are forcibly adopted for vague reasons, ss can go home and sleep with no repurcussions. Leaving behind them shattered lives, children who will be affected for the rest of their lives. Either that or some are left to die.
I commend you on the times you have got it right, and the children you have saved. But the mistakes can not be ignored.
When children are wrongly removed from their families, those decisions are not overturned when it is proven that social workers in those cases lied/exaggerated. Adoptions go ahead regardless, rather than return children to their own families. As parents, we know this, so to us, the pain remains. Surely you understand that?

As I said earlier, I couldn't be a social worker. It's hard enough being a part of identifying abuse in schools as a teacher, and them working with the SMT teacher with responsibility for child protection to work out what the next steps should be.
And sending children home to dreadful situations, because of the limitations on what can be done.
I don't have the patience, control or tolerance to work with adults within an abusive family situation and be fair. I'm not up to it.
I'll stick to being yelled at because of reading levels, or party invitations or teaching tables incorrectly.

But decisions are reversed - and only a small % of children that are looked after or taken into care are put forward for adoption.

And social workers ARE struck off -

nilbymaaf - I really think you need to step away from this thread and start a new one for advice on your situation - this isn't going to help you

with all due respect to very honourable sw's i do think it's quite unfair to the op and others who have had awful experiences with inept sw's to simply take offence to one comment and deflect away all criticism of the profession with some tragic anecdotes.

society as a whole is i believe generally supportive of sw's and others who provide essential services. however some people have had awful encounters with sw's and are entitled to be angry.

as a sw are you not also angered by colleagues who behave badly?

I think part of the problem is that when SWs/SS do an amazing job, the resulting 'success' is still a tragedy for all concerned. A child may be in care suffering from the lifelong effects of abuse and separation and this is the best outcome. It's always a fucking tragedy.

The public never hear about these 'successes'- and nor should they. However, this leaves most people's perception of SS formed by either their own or friends' involvement which is often painful and traumatic, or by media coverage of SS' failures.

countless, the point is that many of the accusations were not made about inadequate social workers but were general accusations about all of them being power-crazed nazis who wanted to put more children on the cp registers to increase their funding

'society as a whole is i believe generally supportive of sw's'

Really? On what evidence are you basing this belief?

Baroq, that is because the ones in care are not adoptable . The babies are the ones adopted, with new-borns preferred. Sadly there are stories of children being put into care while their baby siblings are adopted and then after many months of court battles, those children being returned to their parents but the babies that are adopted out are never returned. Even though it has been proven that the case against the parents is untrue.
Social workers may be struck off, but this is rare, and the decisions that they influence with fabrications, are very rarely reversed.
Altinkum I understand that the judges make the final decision...after they have heard largely fabricated evidence from ss and their lawyers, the parents are not given a chance to challenge or are provided by legal aid lawyers who urge them to do what they are told. i.e. not fight back effectively...the only parents that get half a decent hearing are the ones who get a lawyer outside of the borough or represent themselves.

tethersend- i agree very much with you

sorry i posted last time without refreshing page and discussion had moved on a lot

nilbymaaf - that is just not true.

\link{http://www.education.gov.uk/rsgateway/DB/SFR/s000960/index.shtml\there are facts and figures on here}

Given what I know of your story I think I can safely say (in my unprofessional opinion) that your children (if they even make it onto the CP register - which I doubt......even my boys with their father still living with us didn't) won't be put up for adoption, or even become one of the 60,000 "looked After" children.

With all due respect OP - the way this thread has gone is not what you need right now.

Right now you need support and advice for your situation and this churning over horror stories isn't going to help you at all.

I lasted only two years. Unbelievable stress, sleepless nights and depression. Overworked, underpaid and undervalued.

The general public only hear the horror stories, where a child has tragically lost their life.
You never hear about the thousands of others that are rightly removed from abusive, alcoholic or drug addicted parents, or parents that just benefit from parenting skills classes, or children placed with family members who have to be assessed (yes, they may be a grandparent of the child, but they still need to be responsible adults).

Baroque, I know you are right, this is not going to provide me with the support I need.
But I don't feel very confident right now that my dc will not be taken into care or be adopted out. The cp sw seemed to me to be out for anything she could get, things entirely unrelated to the problem. I was shocked. Her focus on my dd was unsettling to say the least. I might be wrong, and I hope I am, but her line of questioning set me on edge enough to try to find out what I can do in a worst case scenario. It wasn't hard to find horror stories of what happens in family courts.