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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little sad at getting no...

59 replies

mummaloco · 27/12/2010 19:19

Christmas presents under the tree? I literally had nothing at all under the tree and I know I'm being a bit silly but it really upset me Sad

I have name-changed for this post as I don't want to seem really ungrateful. I have my oh, my dd 4 and my dd 11 weeks. I went out of my way even whilst having the worst flu ever to make sure that all present were bought and that my oh had gifts under the tree etc and i was happy christmas day watching them open the gifts but I felt a little upset that he got me nothing :(

I know he loves me but I really thought he would have got me something but nope nothing Sad

aibu?

OP posts:
amberleaf · 27/12/2010 19:20

YANBU

I would feel hurt by that too.

MumNWLondon · 27/12/2010 19:21

YANBU - ask him why he didn't buy you anything?

ChoudeBruxelles · 27/12/2010 19:21

YANBU. Why didn't he get you anything?

westlake · 27/12/2010 19:21

YANBU In fact I think that's awful!

pjmama · 27/12/2010 19:21

Why didn't he get you anything? Does he have a reason, or did he just forget?

AnnOnimous · 27/12/2010 19:21

I would be heartbroken, so you are NBU.

agedknees · 27/12/2010 19:22

YANBU. I too would have been hurt by that.

FrostyAndSlippery · 27/12/2010 19:22

Of course YANBU! You've just had a baby FFS you deserve something just for that!

Does DH know you're upset?

Gillybobs · 27/12/2010 19:22

Of course YANBU, very thoughtless and lazy of him imo. : (

AnnOnimous · 27/12/2010 19:23

Mamaloco, I would love to send you something, and have lots of other MNers send you something, just so you have a big smile one day, and also your OH might realise that he has been thoughtless and tactless.

Wish there was a way I could make this happen for you.

swanandduck · 27/12/2010 19:23

YANBU. Show him this thread. What the F. was he thinking??? Is he normally that oafish and inconsiderate??

MeUnscrabbly · 27/12/2010 19:23

I find it unbelievable that people's partners don't bother to get them anything at all, especially if history dictates that they get presents! It's pretty much the height of selfishness Hmm

Last year dh and I were having a very rough time of it, relationship wise, but even then I got a couple of things to open on the day. I can't imagine how bad it would have to get to get nothing at all Xmas Sad In fact, it would probably so bad that he would be shown the door.

ItsMeMo · 27/12/2010 19:24

Did you tell him not to get you anything?

YANBU - even if you told him not to he could have bought you a little box of chocolates.

MeUnscrabbly · 27/12/2010 19:25

pjmama - forget?? Shock

Oops dear, I forgot that it was christmas. Even all the decorations everywhere, the days off work, the music surrounding me and the kids being excited didn't remind me Hmm Rubbish.

Milliways · 27/12/2010 19:27

YANBU

Did he buy you presents last year? If so then YADNBU

Me & DH don't buy each other anything, but when kids were little we made sure they had pressies to give us - now they buy their own for us, and parents treat us with small things so we do get presents - just not from each other :)

We stopped buying when times were tough & kids were small, and made sure our kids & parents had something. Now, we tend to get something together, & we are getting the bathroom done soon so will buy all accessories etc in Sales for that.

pjmama · 27/12/2010 19:28

My Dad forgot to buy my Mum a present one year, dozy git! She got her own back in the January sales. It does happen!

AuntiePickleBottom · 27/12/2010 19:29

i didn't have anything either, but i didn't want anything :)

MeUnscrabbly · 27/12/2010 19:30

The mind boggles at forgetting to buy your partner a present. I'm afraid it smacks to me of the partner being the very last thing on your mind which really doesn't bode well for the state of the relationship.

A precedent or agreement of not buying presents for each other is quite a different thing, but for one partner to buy but the other not is just... well... words fail me.

LetThereBeRock · 27/12/2010 19:31

YADNBU.That's awful. How selfish and inconsiderate of him.

classydiva · 27/12/2010 19:32

Why did he not buy you anything? Is he usually like that? Is money tight? That is just mean, feel for you.

reinitindear · 27/12/2010 19:34

YANBU even if money is tight he could have made something with DD1 and wrapped it for you.

Heifer · 27/12/2010 19:39

I didn't get anything from my DH either. We are really skint, and I know he is worrying about it.

I bought presents for DD and had ordered him a hoodie for his hockey coaching team, as a team order was being placed, but heard that it wouldn't arrive in time.

I realised on Christmas Eve that he wouldn't have anything to open so went into the village to buy him a magazine and some nice cheese to wrap up.

Luckily I have 2 lovely mates that sent me presents, best friend knows that I find it sad now my mum and dad have passed away as mum used to wrap up loads of pressies and I miss it, even the silly ones. (Obvioulsy I miss them more than the presents,but its nice to know someone has gone to loads of trouble for you).

So Op YANBU... I feel your pain..

fannybaws · 27/12/2010 19:44

Hi Op am really sorry you are feeling bad, have you asked him if he has ordered something that did not arrive on time?

fannybaws · 27/12/2010 19:44

Does he normally buy you presents for birthdays and christmas?

Katisha · 27/12/2010 19:45

Yes can identify with this, although I finally had words and things have improved.

Although in this case there is a history of being useless at presents with his mother as well - she very much sees them as business transactions, and would much prefer if if the recipient bought their own present and invoiced her. So DH doesn't really have a history of present giving as a joyful thing.

Is there an element of this is his family present giving culture at all?