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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to feel a little sad at getting no...

59 replies

mummaloco · 27/12/2010 19:19

Christmas presents under the tree? I literally had nothing at all under the tree and I know I'm being a bit silly but it really upset me Sad

I have name-changed for this post as I don't want to seem really ungrateful. I have my oh, my dd 4 and my dd 11 weeks. I went out of my way even whilst having the worst flu ever to make sure that all present were bought and that my oh had gifts under the tree etc and i was happy christmas day watching them open the gifts but I felt a little upset that he got me nothing :(

I know he loves me but I really thought he would have got me something but nope nothing Sad

aibu?

OP posts:
Ephiny · 27/12/2010 19:50

YANBU, unless you'd agreed not to buy for each other. Don't know what your financial situation is like, but you'd think he could have got you at least a token gift!

onepieceoflollipop · 27/12/2010 19:54

The only way this would be acceptable (imo) is if you and he had previously made a firm joint agreement to not buy for each other, and promised to stick to the agreement. (however even if finances are desperate, I still think in those circumstances that a very token effort might be made, even if just a small box of chocs or similar)

Anyway, did this happen? I have heard of such agreements being made but one party not really believing it and then being Shock when he or she has nothing on the day.

JuicyLips · 27/12/2010 19:58

How horrible. I'd have words and says that if he doesn't get you anything then he doesn't get anything next time. Possibly take away what you got him.

Ephiny · 27/12/2010 19:59

It's hard to say anything though without sounding petty and grasping...

JuicyLips · 27/12/2010 20:02

I dont think so, Just say it would have been nice to get one too, and if he thinks its fair not to buy one for her then he will be getting nothing next year either to make it even.

HalfTermHero · 27/12/2010 20:02

YANBU. I would have had a little cry. Everyone should get a Christmas present. I know it is not the same but maybe you could go and buy yourself something nice this week to cheer you up a bit.

FromGirders · 27/12/2010 20:05

Just asked dh if there was any possible excuse for this behaviour - he said no.
Your oh is an arse. Yanbu at all.
Get thee to the sales and spoil yourself.

Curiousmama · 27/12/2010 20:07

Sad That's so awful he's a selfish git.

Curiousmama · 27/12/2010 20:08

petty and grasping? That's her OH ffs!! Not some stranger.

Ephiny · 27/12/2010 20:15

I know, and not saying she is petty and grasping, just that it's hard to complain without it coming across as being all about not 'getting stuff', when the actual issue is more about him not caring, not thinking of her etc iyswim?

JuicyLips · 27/12/2010 20:19

That's the point the Op needs to get across though. I'd be pretty pissed off about it.

atswimtwolengths · 27/12/2010 20:21

I would have been crying all day, in that situation. It's just so obvious that nobody has thought about you. I loved JuicyLips' comment about taking his presents back!

What a way to utterly spoil Christmas Day.

VictoriasLittleKnownSecret · 27/12/2010 21:16

My ex used to get me nothing.
I bought presents for all his family and our DC and him.
I got nothing and just bravely smiled about it.

MY EX........... Xmas Wink

My current DP bought me expensive jewellery - a complete first for me :)

SantaMousePink · 27/12/2010 21:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NanaRoyle · 27/12/2010 21:22

YANBU but you have to tell him next time. Last year Dh got the kids to buy me something and I didn't think to do the same for him, he was a bit miffed. So this year he told me to get him something. And I did.
Never mind, here's a great big hug and sure you are a fab mummy, your kids had a great time adn you;ve got one over your oh, he'd better get his shit together at Valentine's and Mother's Day, that's all I can say!

FrostyAndSlippery · 27/12/2010 21:30

What did you get for him?

I just can't believe anyone wouldn't get their OH a gift to open :(

PawPuss · 27/12/2010 21:30

He has no excuse whatsoever - absolutely disgusting.

SantaMousePink · 27/12/2010 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

maighdlin · 27/12/2010 21:45

YANBU for about a year and a half my DH didn't buy me a thing for xmas birthday valentines etc. after a second christmas without even a fecking card i lost it. I was just so angry. He said it was because we don't have money which we didn't but i still made the effort to buy him some small gifts. Even a box of malteasers would have done but not making any effort at all was hurtful.

PawPuss · 27/12/2010 21:48

This was the last straw that nearly caused a divorce between my own mam and dad. Mam bought loads of stuff for dad and he bought SFA for mam (cos he hadnt had time!). I really thought it was the end.

cookieraymond · 27/12/2010 21:49

my hubby bought me some obviously last minute bright pink and red Christmas 'no sex tonight' pyjamas two sizes too big...I kinda wish he had not bought me anything ;0

curlymama · 27/12/2010 22:10

Show him this thread. He needs to know that he has hurt you.

Is there anything you would particulary like?

makemineamojito · 28/12/2010 00:31

I really want to know what his explanation is for this one, because I really can't think of one. I hope he's got something nice up his sleeve for you...

quiddity · 28/12/2010 00:45

Even (or especially) if you were going through a massive rough patch or a big fight there's no excuse.
Does he really think Santa and the elves sort out these things?
What about getting you something on behalf of the DCs?

floweryblue · 28/12/2010 00:49

DP and I have both forgot to get cards for each other for various birthdays, Valentines and Christmasses, so this year I never gave a thought to getting DP a card, he got me one. I felt terrible when I remembered, on Boxing Day, but he did have lots of presents from me and they were loads better than he got me Grin

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