Doc told us the sex of the baby - we didn't want to know!!!

[BubbaAndBump]

36 week appt to check the lie of the baby (baby #3) in case an ELC would be needed. During scan, the bloody doctor told us the gender of the baby and we didn't want to know!!!!!!!!!!

I did say to her that I was annoyed she'd told us as we didn't want to know and we'd wanted it to be a surprise. She didn't seem bothered! (not in a rude way, but just genuinely didn't seem to be bothered that she'd ruined something quite special for us!)

Yes Princess we had the same situation with DD2 as they all assumed we knew and we had to ask a couple of minutes after she was out - a bit comical really!!

Aw bubba I know it must be shite- I absolutely love suprises so I would be gutted too. I just figure doctors must be very very busy over this period and it just slipped his mind, which obviously isn't nice for you but it doesn't mean he is incompetant and should have a shitty week next week because he has a complaint made about him.

(but I am a softie)

Most people I know didn't find out with their first, and did with their second.

I didn't find out with my VB and did with my ELCS, if that's of any bearing whatsoever!!

No bubba i'd be really peed off too. It's not on is it? At my scan yesterday she said "do you know waht you're having" and when we said Boy, she said "Yep - there's his testicles"..... but she SHOULDN'T have told you without asking.

I think you can always write a letter - cos if not, maybe the doc will continue blythely on telling people - maybe she just wasn't thinking, but at least might make them more aware in future.

All I will say is they got it wrong three times out of four when we asked and wanted to know, so I wouldn't worry you could still get your surprise !

Good point mama!

YANBU I was adamant with DS1 & 3 that I didn't want to know sex of baby. Same would have applied to DS2 but had scare and needed tests etc and ended up being told.

In your situation I would be gutted as to me it is really important for sex of baby to be a surprise for me when it's born.

I personally would make some sort of complaint, nothing heavy but just to highlight to the doctor involved that they should think a bit more about what they say.

Gutted. What a way to find out. Did you mention anything at the appointment - might be worth mentioning to the doc just so they don't do it again, maybe not a full on complaint though.

It's still a great secret for just the two of you, bet your Mum'll be going up the wall trying to catch you out over the next month.

Yep deepfried, did tell the doc I was pissed off. No apology forthcoming though

And you're right my mum keeps trying to catch me out and is reading loads into whatever I do or say!! :o

I would be really annoyed too - I think it is statistically unusual not to want to find out, but that's irrelevant. The point here is that it is something paretns feel strongly about (I would be surprised is an obs and gyne specialist wasn't aware of this...) and the doctor didn't think about it. With both dc's we didn't find out. In both births, our midwives asked dh to check the sex & let me know.
IT was a very special moment (esp for dh - he felt it was the one really useful thing he could do ).

A letter wouldn't get the doc into any serious trouble, but might help the team to remember that minority wishes still need to be respected...

Your post just made me cry Iamcountingto3 as that's just what I wanted too!

It is annoying - I work in maternity and alsways ask parents to be if they know sex (partly small talk but also so don't put my foot in mouth). At birth baby is given to mum or dad (depends on who wants but normally mum) and they can then have a look - never say sex. Not unknown for parents to be so in awe of baby that it can be couple of minutes before they look!
That said - I never cease to be amazed at how many people ask me how much baby weighs - when no scales have been brought into the room.

Good luck over the coming weeks and hope you have a great birth.

Well, now that you know, you might as well enjoy it - it'll be "I saw this lovely sleepsuit with pink kittens on in the sales..." and desperately studying your reaction next.

Bet he or she will still be adorable and a joy to meet either way.

Thanks stoatie and deepfried

COMPENSATION.

You could sue for hurt feelings and spoilt surprise ......theres such a wide range of choice its impossible to guess what youre having anyway.

meh

It will still be a surprise...seeing their face is a surprise....and they could be wrong!

Bubba....DH could do what my DH did after my ELC...he went with the midwife and helped wash the baby.

She stopped crying when he touched and spoke to her...you'll be stuck on the bed there getting stitched and they'll carry the baby to get cleaned up...DH really felt good about going with her and letting her hear his voice.

I would be annoyed too as it not their place to tell you unless you ask, although i loved knowing with both of mine.
Maybe you can turn this into a positive thing and have more ideas on names ect..
All the best with everything :)

I am playing Devil's advocate, but

Will you be doubly surprised and thrilled if your baby is the opposite gender ?

It could happen .... just imagine the excitement ... hold that thought.

BTW I would never expect a doc to do that though.

I don't know how I'd feel if that happened cumfy!! Even more confused I reckon!! :o

I know lots of you are right, and it doesn't 'matter' in the long run. Just got to remember that.

Bubba exactly the same happened to me with DC3 at exactly the same time. The consultant was scanning me and just blurted out, "Ah, yes, there he is lying in an extended breech position - can you see his head up here?" Nearly muttered something about ruining my surprise, but managed to not mention it to my DH (who wasn't there at the scan) who remained convinced until the last moment that we were having another girl.
Still packed a pink and blue sleepsuit in my hospital bag though...

I know it must be disappointed to be told when you don't want to know and the consultant should probably have been more apologetic. However, how do you know she hadn't just done a scan where she'd had to tell parents their baby had died or had serious problems or something similar? Obviously she should remain professional, but doctors are still human.

Yep - just try to think of the bigger picture...

It is annoying. We didnt want to know the gender of our baby and we got the surprise at the end. But really we didnt, we knew we were having a girl, just knew. In fact she was nearly 10 minutes old before anyone thought to check.
But I can see why you'd be annoyed.

On the bright side, the best part of keeping the gender secret for DH was the big reveal to everyone in the phonecall after her birth and you guys still get to do that. It is only one month shy of you guys actually finding out by his/her birth, and you can still keep it secret from those who you want to surprise with the news.

I don't know that midori - weird and a bit sad that you brought that up tbh - but I have to say I've been a bit me-me-me about this and am just upset to know something I didn't want to know...