To dread in-laws visit due to their table manners?

[asseenontv]

When the ILs come over for a meal they always pile their plates so high with food that there is not enough left for us and I find it really rude and bad mannered.

Their plates are usually about 4 inches deep in food (no kidding) and DH and I share whatever is left between us and the kids. We have tiny portions as a result and the ILs often notice and say 'oh not on a diet again are we?' or similar joke. We leave a small amount in the serving dishes for 'seconds' as well and usually FIL has finished his mound before I have finished my first mouthful and will then share out whatever is left between him and MIL. No chance for us to have seconds at all. AIBU?? I find it so rude. And frankly, disgusting that they stuff their faces whilst their GC go without at the same table!

We've tried over-catering in an attempt to prevent this happening but they subconsciously see it as a challenge and scoff the lot as usual. Serving out their plate for them results in them having many rounds of 'seconds' and again no food for us.
How can we stop this happening when they come round on Christmas Eve ?
(they are not fat, they walk dogs and have hollow legs big appetites but come on!)
Or AIBU?

I know the people I need eat well before I visit! I'll never forget going (one of only a tiny handful of times) to my sil's and bil's for lunch then an evening meal. BIL made us all lasagne and my sil has STEAK because she like lasagne. Then, in the evening for supper they made a plate of sandwiches. We could choose. Cheese. Or Ham. Or Cheese and Ham, for the adventurous. And a 2 cereal bowls of crisps between 7 of us. It wasn't like we'd just popped in for a cup of tea, and were offered a spontaneous snack - this was special family occasion involving driving over 100 miles to their house and is one of only three times they've had us there in 20 years! I'd run myself through with a sword before I did that to guests, even if they were only family.

doesn't like lasagne.

I want to point out that I am very very fond of them both, but where these things are concerned they drive me up the wall.

Plate up the kids first and then take the serving dishes to the table. At least you will know kids have had enough to eat. And get a secret stash of choc for yourself for afterwards.

Grow out of it.

I would rough my table manners up just to
to startle posh people.

But I would not push mashed tatties into my gob with my hands

It's not only posh people you startle Gabby. I'm starting to kind of love you though. In a weird way - obviously.

thats progress, Fellatio.

The problem with really posh people is they can have a limited sense of humour.

I find posh eating places just rip one orf for small portions...

That said, I am posh compared to some people....I never break wind in front of a lady. Let her go first.

Laughing like a drain now Gabby. No, really.

(clearly too posh)

I can easily 'put away' the portions you describe. As can ds1(aged 6, skinny as a rake)
It would sadden me greatly, to think that someone came to my house and left hungry. Actually, I think I can bet that has never happened. I would refuse to let that happen. I always cook loads and loads and loads.
Is money a problem Op ? Or are you just naturally 'tight' ?

Some people her do seem very unassertive with their guests. If 1 of my guests put all the sprouts on their plate I would point out that they were for everyone and there weren't more hidden away anywhere.
If I had a greedy relative coming I'd probably loudly announce before the meal (having kids is a good excuse to do table manner type announcements as you can pretend you are talking to them) that the food was to be shared amongst everyone so could people just take their share, and there may be more later. I have taken more than my share at times, my parents disliked gravy where as I love it and after living away for a few years went to their's for dinner and poured myself my usual gravy helping from small gravy bowl, assuming like me that mum would have more left in a pan in the kitchen. Mum then had a strop with me for leaving hardly any gravy for anyone else.
I hate going to houses with insufficient gravy, and stuffing.

I agree with LeQ. There is a touch of martyrdom about the OP.

Tbh that doesn't sound like a huge amount you are cooking.

I always cook insane amounts of food for christmas day, loads of different types of veg (lots of them are pre-prepped christmas eve) and probably cater for about 5 roast spuds each.

It doesn't get wasted, leftovers get used to make bubble and squeak and/or soup.

I don't agree with those who say plate up - I thionk plating up for others is vile, it's not a prison canteen. People need to be able to help themselves.

Just cook twice as much stuff.

'I will plate it up and just cook enough'

Mind you I would kick hard anyone who reached across and swiped my food in a restaurant, that is hugely rude.

I will say that the sheer amount of food described is what my mother stuffed into me and my sister growing up.

Having lived away for a few years my appetite is still considered large, but I could in no way eat what was just described.

Whenever we visit my mother and she has cooked a dinner, she has begun letting me carve and serve and she will check wih me to see what an ok serving would be.

Still the plates are piled as high as the OP described. It really does shock me that people could put away that volume of food at one sitting and not be unwell?

I struggle with 1 chicken breast/ 3 slices of meat; 2 roast and 2 boiled potatoes; a dessertspoon each of peas/carrots and either cauliflower or mashed swede and a small serving of gravy for Sunday lunch. I don't eat breakfast, snack on fruit (occasionally chocolate) and we'll have a light tea light soup or something on toast- rarely anthing heavier.

For anyone who thinks that I must be slim if I struggle with that- I am actually morbidly obese at 5'6.

In answer to OP, I would plate up in the kitchen and then when they have finished, say there are seconds in the kitchen.

I eat loads at Christmas dinner - I only cook a roast dinner about twice a year, so is a real treat. It is one of my few days of real gluttony.

I cannot bear piled up plates, it looks disgusting, so I give myself 3rd and 4th helpings at the table.

Loads turkey
Loads ham
About 5 roast spuds
4 -5 parsnips
Stuffing about the size of a baby's head
Lots mashed swede
Lots red cabbage
1 sprout (urgh but must be done)
Probably a dozen pigs in blankets
Big pile carrots
Lots brocolli
Big pile cauliflower cheese (sometimes I make this, sometimes not)
Half a pint of gravy

Laughs at 4 or 5 roast spud my older Two ds have more like 9 or 10 spuds

The OP's PIL aren't going for Christmas Day - she won't be cooking Christmas lunch. They are visiting on Christmas Eve

Frankly I don't know how anybody could eat that amount 2 days on the trot. Presumably they are even worse on the Christmas Day itself. I couldn't manage what they eat on one day let alone two. I am more of a little and often person.

lol goingroundthebend

If my brotehr was coming round for dinner he would be the same as your sons!

lol at "Stuffing about the size of a baby's head" Interesting image...

OP you sound a bit nasty and condescending about your pil

('ooh where's yer Bisto me giwrl' etc, 'what's you doin with them fancy forrin erbs then?')

Nine

lol you so don't want to see what mine eat day in day out

And neither if the boys areoverweight both very slender infact ds2 is underweight

Buy small plates, problem solved.

Why is plating up "vile"?
How do people who hate plating up cope in restaurants where food is usually plated up and brought through?
My meals are always plated up unless we're having something like a chinese or indian buffet.
I see no reason to serve food any differently on Christmas day to other days.

2rebecca, I can't see where it says that plating up is vile but I don't like it when we have people over or go to somebody else's for dinner and it's plated up. People like different amounts of different foods and it's nicer to let them choose what and how much they want.