To have REALLY told my DD off just now?

[ShanahansRevenge]

She tood and watched her 2 year old sister pull and trash most of the decorations off the stair bannisters....they're ruined now and I stipidly feel somehow hurt.

I know they're kids...but I feel that the 6 year old knows better...I found them screwing things into the bin and laughing....the 6 year old says that the 2 year old pulled them off and tore them up...I don't understand why she would stand and watch!

I would NEVER have done that as child..I loved the decorations...it seems disrespectful and somehow awful to do what they did. It takes something way from it all for me...like they're just paper and not special things. I put a lot of effort into decorating...

I really told them off...and now DH is bathing them early.

I was washing up and never heard a thing..they had been alone for 10 minutes watching tv.

Aww :( YANBU.

Not unreasonable.

I think you are doing the right thing, if after bathing them, they are having something to eat and going straight to bed.

They have disrespected your household and property.

Sorry but UABU, your DD is not responsible for her sisters behaviour, you are. And your 2yo is not being disrespctful, she is a baby and babys trash things given half the chance.

I would have leapt at the chance to get my siblings into serious shit and yelled for help because they were evil and bad.
I wonder why your DD didn't snatch the opportunity.

yes i think it does no harm for them to see that their actions or inaction can hurt others. i imagine your 6 year old will be quite apologetic once she has had time for your reaction to sink in. she will know it was naughty and she will know you were upset.

Memmo....the older DD IS responsible...as an older sibling she does bear some responsibility...they have to learn it somewhere and helping yuor small sister to understand right and wrong is part of.. it. That's what I thought anyway.

Not surprised you are fed up. But they weren't thinking 'we know what we can do to hurt Mummy'. (No idea what they WERE thinking, mind.)

Goblin....she usually does tbh...like she will tell if the littl one maes a mess with her playdoh or something...I didn't understand it either.

YANBU the six year old should have had more sense and should have called you. The two year old would not skip a telling off here either - old enough to be told that's naughty.

Brandy....I do have high expectations of her...but she is usually very mature. And also careful of things...I am nonplussed as to why she would let this happen I suppose.It's so different to the respect I had for Chritms decorations at the same age. I LOVED them...and would have fainted if a sibling had trashed them.

I did tell the 2 year old off too...I just went off at the older one more...

BrandyButterfly - what stopped you exactly?

It obviously seemed like more fun to join in and blame DD2 than it was to tell. Now you just have to make her realise it may have seemed that way at the time, but you have to think long term, not short term

YABU your DD isn't reaponsible for her sister's behaviour. You are sending out very dodgy messages here!

YABU - I'm guessing you're not an eldest child yourself?

I spent my childhood getting bollocked for things my younger sisters did, either their behaviour was apparently due to my bad influence or because I should have stopped them being naughty myself. I always felt resentful for it (can you tell? ), especially when my sisters worked out how to use it to their advantage.

Encouraging your eldest to look out for her younger sister and helping her is a good thing. Telling her off when your 2yo has done a normal 2yo thing is BU, IMO.

are you sure it was just the 2 year old? could teh older DD have lied to save her skin and maybe that is why she didn't grass on her sister?

yabu
all though I can understand why.
a 6 year old is only small

Rubbish - you are not sending out the wrong message - you are sending out exactly the right message! You do not stand by and watch someone do something wrong or worse still join in! You stop them, you get help, you tell an adult....

Princessparty FF 5 years, everyone is trashing a shop - do you want your child to say 'No this isn't right' or go and get an adult, or do you want them to join in??

PM, I'm the eldest and used to get very pissed off for the same reasons.
I hated the fact that my younger siblings were my responsibility far too often. I used to do dangerous things and then pretend that I was playing and it wasn't my fault if they'd fallen out of the tree, into the lake, off the...

If the 6 year old joined in it's a different matter though.

dd is almost 6 and i'd be pissed if she joined in with her younger brothers doing something so disrespectful... I wouldn't expect her to stop them but at the very least keep out of it and hopefully come tell me... she's quick enough to screech and roar at them when they touch her stuff!

i don't know why but i clearly remember having that mind lapse thing as a child where i started of doing something small, like patting down a corner of wall paper that has lifted, then it pops up again so i pull it a bit and then a bit more and then before i know it mum is standing there screaming her head off and i look at teh wall to find strips and strips torn off and lying at my feet. i never meant to be naughty but, i got carried away with seeing what happened and then teh motion of tearing itself.

ds1 is 5.5 and he yells everytime ds2 (18 months) does something even remotely naughty (not that he knows it is naughty but if ds1 did it it would be IYSWIM)

I bet it was the 6 year old that did it!!! Why else would she not tell...??