To have REALLY told my DD off just now?

[ShanahansRevenge]

She tood and watched her 2 year old sister pull and trash most of the decorations off the stair bannisters....they're ruined now and I stipidly feel somehow hurt.

I know they're kids...but I feel that the 6 year old knows better...I found them screwing things into the bin and laughing....the 6 year old says that the 2 year old pulled them off and tore them up...I don't understand why she would stand and watch!

I would NEVER have done that as child..I loved the decorations...it seems disrespectful and somehow awful to do what they did. It takes something way from it all for me...like they're just paper and not special things. I put a lot of effort into decorating...

I really told them off...and now DH is bathing them early.

I was washing up and never heard a thing..they had been alone for 10 minutes watching tv.

I think you just got the magnitude of the tellings offs the wrong way round. The child who WAS naughty should bear the brunt, and your older child should imo have just been told that you are very disappointed in her, thought she was more mature, etc - discuss with her that she should have told you etc; not making her responsible for her younger sibling or for taking the flak for her sibling, but making it clear that as nice people we don't stand and watch while bad behaviour happens.
I certainly think it's unfair that she had the bigger telling off.

My 5 year old will watch my 2 year old destroy things and not yell for me. The older one who is nearly 8 will intervene if he is not engrossed in tv/book/DS or in a particularly devilish mood.

I am afraid when I catch them at this destruction and passive watching I do tend to have a general rant. It does my head in more than when I only had one destructive 2 year old to deal with.

A gentle YABU from me.

Your DD is older than her DS, but she is still only 6. I'd venture that it's not so much about the decorations as it is about the fact that she stood by and let it happen. In a way that's positive. Welcome to the sometimes unfathomable mind of a free-thinking child.

Be careful making the older one somehow responsible for the actions of the younger one. That is the fastest way to ensure sibling wars! Your eldest may well come to resent and blame the younger one and that could affect their relationship.

Iloveitwhen - same here, I can distinctly recall going into an almost hypnotic state squishing all the bubbles in the wallpaper (that textured stuff that was popular in the 70s). I wasn't trying to be naughty but it was just so darn satisfying!

Also scarred by being the eldest and blamed for the youngest's misdeeds. She realised she could use this to her advantage as well, the swine!

I think it's reasonable to expect a 6yo to call for you if their little sister is being naughty, even though she couldn't actually stop them.

I have no experience as I'm an only, but my DH was always getting in trouble because of his younger sisters. But we agree on discipline, and we are trying to instill good values in DD. She's 3, and knows that she should show DS (16m) how to behave nicely - because her little brother looks up to her :)

I suspect she had been joining in which is why she didn't tell tales this time.

Funny how every time DD2 has a wee on the floor instead of in the potty, DD2is RIGHT there telling me what's happened!

I know she's only small...hve had good chat to her about why some things are special and why she ned to watch out for them...she's fine no....moved on...as they do..ito the present and why her bedtime snack is an apple and not a bag of quavers!

Edam...I had that bubbly paper too! Right by my bed it was all flat and squished. I cn still remember the lovely feeling as they "burst".

We had woodchip.

hours of fun to be had picking the little bits out.

And hours of fun steaming it off twenty years later!

'as an older sibling she does bear some responsibility'

No she doesn't. She is a very young child. And YABU to take this personally.

Not my problem. I was long gone by the time my parents finally got round to ripping it all off instead of painting it!

I'd like to know though, who on earth thought that tiny bits of wood stuck into paper was a good thing to stick on your walls.

And carpets - green with swirly flowery patterns

Guess the decade first prize is a space hopper!

is fruit a punishment?

You Be a parent- don't expect your little child to do your job for you!

Hec...I can see them now...

"How can we inprove wallpaper?"

"Make it more hardwearing? YES! Let's add WOOD!" Its genius!

When I got my first flat it was entirely done in woodchip...and some bits of the ceiling! I pulled some off and a bit of wall came with it. As I pulled the layers off, the flat was enveloped with the smell of cigarette smoke!

The stench had been entombed within the woodchipfor thirty years!

Yes minipen it is. In my home we live on quavers and that fizzy orange sherbet...when the DCs are bad the have to eat fruit.

We're all fat and stupid.

Princessparty....nice username!

yuk.

Come to think of it, it was the woodchip holding my parents' walls up.

fizzy orange sherbert?

Isn't that one of your 5 a day?

And quavers are practically cheese.

As an eldest child, i know the feeling of being powerless against a younger child's bad behavior.

a) You cannot discipline the younger child with tellings off (they won't listen) or shouting (you get shouted at yourself)

b) You're going to get blamed when the parents find out what has happened, whether you were even involved or not.

c) If you try and tell (like you did when your younger sibling was making A SIlly NOISE (damn him!) you get told off for telling tales.

No win situation in the eyes of a six year old.

That's how I see it Hec.

'No win situation in the eyes of a six year old.'

There are other ways to get back at the sibling, I discovered hundreds.
Are you going to try again with the tree OP?

Glad I made you cough Brandy...in a good way!

Goblin..twas not the tree but my meticulously decorated stair bannisters. Its notin their reach or anything....andI think little DD must have had some "help" to reach the decs.