to be annoyed with MIL telling me to send 'thank you' cards...

[CuddlyNemesis]

DD is nearly 2 and whenever anyone from MIL's side of the family gives her a small gift/money as a present, in spite of me thanking them in person for it at the time, she tells me later I must send them a 'thank you' card as well.

I'm 40 FFS! It wouldn't be so bad if she gently suggested it (although I think a verbal 'thank you' for a small gift should be enough?) but she tells me to send one like I'm a child, which is what is really pissing me off!

I know it'll happen again in the next couple of weeks... Obviously, 'thank you' cards were sent to everyone who gave us something before and after DD was born, but this is getting silly! I'm not being ungrateful - I do thank everyone at the time!

GRRRRR!

Suggest that Mil taks charge of it all...buying them and helping your child to draw a picture inside.

There is nothing aspirational middle class about me, and we do home-made wrapping paper and cards and thank you cards.

I also put card and bits in dd's stocking to make thank you cards. If DH and I get any presents from people we do not share Christmas with we would send a note to say thank you.

I don't buy the "no time" thing either especially if you are a regular poster on here

No thank you letter in my family = no gift the next year. (But that's only if you haven't seen the sender of the gift.)

I've done thank you cards twice in my entire 26 years, once for gifts at my wedding and once for gifts when pfb was born (should prob add that dd was before wedding heathen).

I ordered personalised photo cards, mainly because most of the recipients were overseas and didn't get to see dd until she was 7 months. They went down a storm. It was expensive but worth it because I very rarely see my extended family so the note was appreciated.

Had someone told me I had to do it they'd have been told to burger off! I did it to say thank people for their generosity, not because I had to!

I haven't read through the whole thread, but as far as I'm concerned the only time you really should send thank you cards are for things like wedding gifts, shower gifts (bridal and baby) and graduation (high school/college/grad school).

I sent Thank You cards for Christening gifts bought from a gift list...don't shoot me!!!

BUT i told DH that I would write them for my friends and family and he has to do his.

Mine were done within a month. 4 months later DH still hasn't done 1. Evrytime his mum mentions it I just say its his responsibility!!!!

Since when have thank you notes/cards/letters/emails/texts/whatever been about social class or age?

Surely it's a sign of having good manners, nothing more, nothing less...

I am always on these threads by the number of people that think having good manners & also teaching your children good manners is not important.

tingletangle - notice you have a DD - wonder if little girls are more into this kind of thing than boys. it would be my sons idea of hell to sit down and kerfudle with all this stuff. I get the impression that little girls are more into it.

And i could make the time, just don't want to or feel it's necessary as long as a thanks is given in some form.

I know that a lot of members of the older generation (say 60+) get very exercised and upset by the absence of thank you notes. I would not dream of omitting them, and I make the DCs send them religiously.

I am a bit hardcore in that I make the DCs send them even if they recieved a gift in person, which is a bit harsh of me because I don't always send thank you letters myself for face to face gifts.

DM stopped nagging me about sending letters around about my 30th birthday as I recall, so YANBU to be annoyed.

Perhaps begony.

I'm not remotely bothered about receiving thank you cards from people but I do think it is really important for the dcs to write them. I just think that it is good for them to not take gifts for granted and acknowledge some gratitude. Otherwise it feels a bit grabby.

begonya - I have 3 DSs and getting them to write the cards is like torture but I still make them do it. They don't like doing homework either but sometimes things just have to be done.