to be annoyed with MIL telling me to send 'thank you' cards...

[CuddlyNemesis]

DD is nearly 2 and whenever anyone from MIL's side of the family gives her a small gift/money as a present, in spite of me thanking them in person for it at the time, she tells me later I must send them a 'thank you' card as well.

I'm 40 FFS! It wouldn't be so bad if she gently suggested it (although I think a verbal 'thank you' for a small gift should be enough?) but she tells me to send one like I'm a child, which is what is really pissing me off!

I know it'll happen again in the next couple of weeks... Obviously, 'thank you' cards were sent to everyone who gave us something before and after DD was born, but this is getting silly! I'm not being ungrateful - I do thank everyone at the time!

GRRRRR!

lol Lequeen, so that makes the sending of thank you cards Chavspirational?

I predict that this.thread.will.kick.orf

Oooh,does that mean i'm aspirational middle class?

Get it right LeQ.

Makes them apprear terribly naice

LOL, that's a great story about Princess Diana, GetOrf.

It's not just about being told to send the cards, it's about someone thinking they can tell me, a grown woman, what I will be doing!

Guaranteed to piss me off, big time!

I bet Princess Diana's cards are worth a fortune now.

Mind you (re Lady Di) I would say that the writing of thank you cards would probably tip the balance as opposed to losing virginity to prince Charles.

Send your MIL a thank you card sarcastically (though she wont know that! ) thanking her for teaching you when it is appropriate to send thank you cards!!

GetOrfMoiLand you have made me splutter coffee over my laptop.

Oh thank God there are other people who don't send them - I thought I was the only one!

I always send an e-mail with a picture of dd in the thing/playing with the thing but an actual card? There are rainforest dying ffs. I also feel that dh's family send a lot of passive aggressive cards - for eg this year we have a Christmas card from MIL, FIL and their dog who is not allowed to visit because dd is so little andbecauseheshitsonthecarpet the dog has not seen fit to write to us before.

oh arf at people being accused of being aspirational middle class as if there could not be anything worse, or like it is shameful somehow

the horror of it all

actually, i think a preoccupation with what class everyone is is pretty dodgy and speaks volumes tbh

op do whatever you want, some people will be offended, some will admire you, most will not give a crap

Wow my Mum missed that one, thankyou cards in stocking

I opened this thread expecting to be told I must must must send thank you cards or risk a sharp descent into hell

My mum does this to me after every christmas and birthday in my family...she will actually reel off a list of all the people she decides I will need to send one to and then ask me whether I've done it yet every time she speaks to me.

It's the cost I object to above all. Cards are not cheap and neither are the stamps to post them! I stick to just sending cards to people I have not accepted the gift from in person.

"My Mum used to put a pack of 'Thankyou' cards in DCs stockings"

Great idea!

OP, you are not being unreasonable!

Yanbu

I remember saying to my Mum after DS was born that I would write all the Thankyou cards for the gifts (I lived abroad) for her to take back for me.

She basically told me to get a grip, when would I find time do that with a newborn, in fact ever now I had a child, and she could pass on thanks for me/ or I could write a text and send it to everyone.

Not bad for the woman who made me write them as a child. (before mobiles and texting/ email I might add!)

some people send cards

some don't

why would you feel guilt tripped or need to be snarky about what class they are in/or wish they are in?

Good manners cost nothing. [victorian]

But YANBU- how dare she remind you to send them!

I thought you only wrote thank you cards if you receive something in the post, or handed over ages before opened too. And I thought e-mails or phone calls would do.

Tell your MIL to direct her comments to your DH has he will be writing all cards needed for his family, you'll be doing the ones needed for yours.

PS. I send e-mails for everything. I think as long as you do thank the person, that is enough.

I send thank you cards to relatives who send the DCs presents as a) they live miles away and we don't see them often and b) they are older and expect it c) they don't have e-mail

Local friends get a verbal thank you when we see them or a text.

I've started sending thank you cards after a plethora of threads a while back berating new mothers for not sending thank you cards to the donors of gifts for their newborns, and for being lazy, disorganised, ungrateful cows who should have been writing them whilst the baby slept peacefully for hours in the moses basket .

I shall gladly stop now

I think shirleyhyppia's idea is grand.