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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to not do teacher presents?

139 replies

OutOutLetItAllOut · 14/12/2010 20:42

at the school gate today and one of the mums was talking about buying bottles of wine, (i made a comment about her making sure to invite me over!) and she said that they were for the teachers. turns out she is buying wine and chocs for the teachers, not just the main teach, but the 2 class room assistants and the 2 t.a's, ( all 4 are part time), also the head, the secetary and the chair of goveners!
a few of the others chipped in that they were doing flowers, smellies or other gifts!
i have NEVER bought a gift for a teacher at xmas, we normally bake a cake the week b4 they break up and take it in for the staff room, or make fudge.
am i the only mum who doesnt do gifts?

OP posts:

ilovemyfestivehens · 14/12/2010 20:48

I never buy presents either. I think it's a bit crawly and twee. A thank you card at the end of the school year is okay, but I would never buy Christmas presents.

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 14/12/2010 20:49

You aren't the only one, I find it a bit weird, like giving the teachers a tip or something.

The DC making them a card or something I can understand, but all this competative pressie giving sounds like it's only done by those who've got shed loads.

I've got enough to spend out for this year, DD1s teacher is bloody fantastic, but he can see how good he is reflected in how clever he can make my DD

Spinkle · 14/12/2010 20:51

Am a teacher and I don't like presents for doing my job.

I can live without knicky knackys (I don't do dusting) and I certainly don't need chocolate. I do not drink. PLease no more gift sets of soap, shower gel etc.

Save your money, mummies, I say.

Am not being ungrateful but there's no need. Really.

magicmummy1 · 14/12/2010 20:52

yanbu. I do always do gifts for teachers and other staff whom I particularly want to thank, but it shouldn't be obligatory and there certainly shouldn't be any competitive gift-giving going on. A heartfelt thank you is every bit as valuable imo. And you do bake a cake, so that is a gift in any case - a lovely home-made one.

It's the thought that counts - genuinely!

AngelZigzagsSparklyYuletideLog · 14/12/2010 20:53

Does it ever get a bit embarrassing spinkle?

Spinkle · 14/12/2010 20:55

Well, the set of garden pots - huge and very heavy were a bit erm embarrassing.

Homemade cards are nice (even better if spelt properly!)

PinkIceQueen · 14/12/2010 20:58

I love receiving gifts, as the children enjoy giving and it's the thought that counts no matter how "knicky knacky" and I've had some of those over the years

However, a genuine heartfelt thank you at the end of the academic year means much more.

For info, I am an LSA, and we do work very hard making sure the classroom runs smoothly (even if we are in the background) :)

Forget the office staff, they are lazy lol

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 14/12/2010 20:58

Cake or fudge for the staff room works fine imo. [hsmile]

MardyQuickFollowThatStar · 14/12/2010 20:59

I mean . Still in halloween here?

onceamai · 14/12/2010 21:03

I think we started to get it right at the DC's primary school. Summer collection of about a fiver each which bought one card for the teacher and one each for the two TA's which were signed by all. The collection easily netted about 150.00. (Think how much could have been spent on 30+ cards between us all). We bought the teacher a really nice present and the TA's beautiful bouquets and something we knew they would like.

curlymama · 14/12/2010 21:07

I like getting something little for my dc's to give to the teachers. I am truly grateful for what they do for my dc's, I've gone all the way through primary and youngest is Y4,and I have only met one teacher that I didn't think was fantastic. I realise the teachers don't want to have to cart home a tonne of chocolate and all sorts of other crap, but I do hope they realise that the little gift I've let my children choose or make for them shows that I genuinely appreciate them doing their best at their job.

It's not just for people that have 'loads', I have to save up for things and be very careful with what I spend money on, but you can do nice things cheaply.

And I'm a pre school teacher, and I love getting little presents from the children!

Muser · 14/12/2010 21:10

One of my friends is a primary school teacher and would be quite happy not to receive presents. It's become a bit of "must do" and a bit meaningless. She says she gets paid for her job, she doesn't need 20 boxes of chocolate or Boots gift sets.

What she does like is a homemade card, or a drawing the child has done. Something that's obviously from the child, as then it's meaningful.

I bet she'd like a homemade cake as well! So don't feel you're being unreasonable, you're really not.

goodmanners · 14/12/2010 21:10

i dont, find it a bit show offy and bumlickerish when mums stand saying they are buying some jewellery from next or some such items. A thankyou card and a box of 99p chocs at the end academic yr if we liked the teacher and nothing if she was a stoney faced old hag.

Snakeears · 14/12/2010 21:11

as a teacher it's nice but so is a little home made card or just a thank you to be honest - shouldn't worry about it think it's carzy at this time of year

bitsyandbetty · 14/12/2010 21:12

I always miss the collection for Christmas as never have any money on me but my DS and I made a scarf last year and also did one for my Dd's teacher. Not sure what to do this year as really busy at work and no time to go to shops. May well send in a card and some teacher's room biscuits or home-made cake if time. That sounds a good idea.

StewieGriffinsMom · 14/12/2010 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PressureDrop · 14/12/2010 21:16

I've got a bottle of prosecco and a box of chocs for the whole toddler room at nursery to share .

DS is in a specialist unit and I have got the same prosecco-and-chocs deal for all six staff there to share, plus DS has made some cards.

I can't afford to get individual presents, but I do like to thank them in some way for all their hard work.

PressureDrop · 14/12/2010 21:16

Obviously the toddlers won't be tucking into the prosecco

greenbananas · 14/12/2010 21:17

My mum was a teacher and used to get a million presents from children/parents each Christmas. Although stuff that the children had made themselves often made her smile, she mostly found presents from the parents quite embarrassing - they were usually knick-knacky things she didn't use, bubble-bathy things that gave her itchy rashes or (sometimes) pricey-looking things that she strongly suspected had fallen off the back of a lorry. Bottles of wine were no good to her as she didn't drink (although my dad enjoyed them.

I reckon you should not bother.

NinkyNonker · 14/12/2010 21:17

As a secondary school teacher I have never received a card let alone a gift! (And no, I'm not a big meanie!) I think it is primarily a primary school thing.

greenbananas · 14/12/2010 21:18

onceamai, that's a really good idea.

DorothyThompson · 14/12/2010 21:21

as the daughter of teachers, we loved the presents our parents got at Christmas and the end of the academic year - esp. choc! but agree (and so would they) that they are so not necessary

MummyMyfanwy · 14/12/2010 21:23

Not a fan of the gifts for teachers ceze that seems to have got more and more of a must do in recent years!

Each to their own though. I wont be doing it and never have. Teachers still seem to like me and my DC despite my stinginess!

WilfShelf · 14/12/2010 21:26

I always give them a bottle of wine, but mostly as a thank you for taking my nutty children off my hands and sending him out at 3.10 sane thing. Because I appreciate what they do so much, and simply couldn't imagine how they manage to educate 30 rowdy 6 year olds.

I don't think I'm doing competitive parenting: it's just an expression of gratitude, but I certainly wouldn't expect others to do it.

I know I have received enough Re-Gifts from my teachers SiLs though to know exactly what happens to the smellies, mugs and gewgaws y'all get them: give them wine or chocolate - at least if they don't do those, they can give them away without embarrassment

WilfShelf · 14/12/2010 21:27

When I say 'teachers SiLs' I mean of course 'teacher SiLs'. Both incorrect AND grammatically offensive...

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