to not do teacher presents?

[OutOutLetItAllOut]

at the school gate today and one of the mums was talking about buying bottles of wine, (i made a comment about her making sure to invite me over!) and she said that they were for the teachers. turns out she is buying wine and chocs for the teachers, not just the main teach, but the 2 class room assistants and the 2 t.a's, ( all 4 are part time), also the head, the secetary and the chair of goveners!
a few of the others chipped in that they were doing flowers, smellies or other gifts!
i have NEVER bought a gift for a teacher at xmas, we normally bake a cake the week b4 they break up and take it in for the staff room, or make fudge.
am i the only mum who doesnt do gifts?

I would never expect a gift, but always appreciate the thought - it's what's written on the card that matters.

Today I found a little basket of smellies in my pigeonhole, with thanks from a parent who was grateful for what she felt I'd done for her DS. He had come on this year after a difficult start. It was the little note that made it for me.

I leave it up to DD whether she'd like to buy for her teacher or not, usually she does so we get something small like a box of biscuits or some flowers- NOT any of the 'best teacher' tat that's usually in the shops, I'm sure even the nicest teacher would find that a bit naff.

When she first started we did the whole present for teacher, present for TAs, present for secretary, biscuits for staff room routine but tbh it costs a fortune (and this is just Christmas, at our school people a lot of people buy at Easter and end of term as well) so I'd rather just give to the person DD spends the most time with.

I will contribute to a decent present for them all when she leaves though, as is the tradition here, and will probably write a nice letter to the Headmaster as well. I read on another forum that a letter which can be kept on a teacher's/school's file and used positively in the future is worth much more to them than any amount of gifts. I did this when she left the nursery (and bought the teacher a nice present as well) as they had really helped her get settled in and gone out of their way to make sure she was happy.

I do think it's easy to get caught up in the whole competitive mummies thing so I just go by the 'rules' I'd use elsewhere ie I buy for who I'd like to buy for or for anyone who's gone above and beyond in some way.

We do a class collection at Christmas and Summer - the teacher gets about £75-£100 of John Lewis vouchers, TA gets about £30-£50 and the part-time staff get gifts of wines/chocolates. That's pretty standard for all the school round here.

We do a collection to avoid the 30 boxes of chocolates etc plus it works out cheaper for the parents to give say £5 for all the teachers. I would be chuffed if i was a teacher getting that. They work hard, big classes, inner city school, it's a way of saying thank you. It's completely voluntary however, no mummy competition at all.

I never buy Christmas presents for the teachers.

I buy a present at the end of the academic year for the teacher and TA.

As a teacher myself I know that the most 'desirable' thing is simply a short letter/card of thanks from yourself/and or the child. Presents make me feel a bit embarrassed more than anything else (secondary, so slightly different).

We buy for the teacher and several school staff. Its nice to say thank you as they all go over and above their job description.

They are all important people in DS's daily life and his education. People tip hairdressers, bin men, posties etc yet a good teacher in their childs life is so much more important.

Sometimes I give gifts to teachers if they have really gone out of their way to help my child.I ALWAYS buy a present for Brown Owl who is a volunteer and this year for a sports coach who has gone well out of their way to encourage my DS.I always try to find out from others what they like in terms of chocolates or wine and try to get them something fairly decent and a nice card but never coming to more than a tenner.i really hope they see it as a token of appreciation and not that I am trying to buy my kids an advantage.

I have bought for teachers every year BUT DS is in a special autistic school and trust me those ladies put up with ALOT from him so he chose them so nice hand cream and hand wash each. DD will be giving her teacher and TA a pen personalised with their name and she a small bar of chocolate which she has personalised with their name on. Its just token gifts to say thankyou for the support really to the children and us as parents!

My SIL is a head teacher in a primary school and i still laugh at the car boot we did in the summer which was full of gift sets etc that she had been given the previous christmas and end of term!

Im a teacher (primary). Am always pleased at a thoughtful gift, but have always disliked the tat unless its obvious the child chose it. I dont jusge the children/parents who dont give gifts.I think a couple of nice sentences in a card about how they like me or enjoy something Ive done is much more heart warming. YANBU

I would feel a bit weird about giving vouchers though

I've just spent the last 4 hours with DS making cards and biscuits and I'm taking them all (4 inc TA and DSs LSA) a bottle of wine from me.

I really think they deserve it. Nothing competitive about it, I just really appreciate all they do.

I'm about ready for a lie down and a glass of wine so they must be after a term of DS!!!

As a Primary School teacher, I think it is lovely that people want to give us presents but WE REALLY DON'T NEED THEM!
In my house, at the ends of terms we usually stockpile large amounts of chocolates (which we don't really eat often), plants and flowers (which die as we are usually going away) , smellies (which I am allergic to) and alcohol (which is really a very personal taste).
My daughter (8) has taken in homemade cards and decorations made out of FIMO soft modelling clay or Hama beads for Christmas and last year we gave book tokens at the end of the year. I personally would much rather have something that the child has wanted to make, as it is much more special and meaningful.
However the classroom assisstants/TAs etc do work very hard for far too little pay and often get forgotten.
The vouchers are lovely (not that I've ever had any) but I can understand the slightly uncomfortable feeling surrounding them.
I also suggested one year, as I am part of a jobshare and we didn't want parents to have the expense of buying for both of us, that they contribute to a present from the 'Good Gift' catalogue- didn't prove very sucessful unfortunately. I really liked the idea of a child somewhere else in the world being able to go to school because I had done a good job here.
I often want to tell giftshop owners to take those ornaments they make specially for teachers off the shelves as they are overpriced and collect too much dust!

Please don't think I am ungrateful, I love the genuine thought behind the presents I have received over the years, (and have kept ALL the homemade ones and can tell you who gave me most of them) but a genuinely meant thankyou in a conversation, means more to me than any present bought in a shop in a panic, particularly as the areas I have worked in over the years are not full of well-off parents and I know they have more important things than me to be spending their money on at this time of year.
Herecomsetc- I think you should go ahead with the teatowels- they are a great idea and genuninely thoughtful. We don't all cring at gifts. It would be a shame if the staff missed out on a token of thanks because others have put ideas into your head that were not there to start with.

I don't recon there's anything wrong with the teatowels as a present either, like a poster said, you can never have enough teatowels so at least the teachers can use them!

There's definately a difference between a token of you affection, and trying to buy favours in the hope your DC is looked on in a different light (although I suspect it might backfire).

Give them the teatowels with a twinkle in your eye herecomes, and don't pay any attention to cynical twats such as myself

I've said it before and I'll say it again:

Two weeks away from your children is the gift that keeps on giving. YANBU.

hehe now I know that isn't true tethers, they love all the little darlings.

Well, a teatowel is nice, and vouchers are nice, and bottles of wine can always be passed on, but year after year my mum used to recive the most disgusting cheap chocolates or horrible bubble bath (it was in a very poor area). Once you have over twenty totally unusable gifts, you feel bad for the people who have spend their very little money on you. My mum never mocked her gifts, but we often had to dispose of them, which seems such a waste. And she did prefer the handwritten cards, especially from those pupils for whom writing a handwritten card was a struggle.

Yes. Yes, of course they do.

That was to Angel

I'm a teacher and I am always touched by gifts, no matter what they are. To me it is just the recognition of my hard work, and the fact that someone is saying thank you. It means just as much to me when parents and children make a point of saying 'Thank you for teaching me/him/her'. (And this actually happens a lot less than gift-giving in my experience). And when my DD is old enough I will expect her to write a note saying how the teacher has helped her and what she has most enjoyed in that class- that is always the nicest thing to have.

I would certainly never expect gifts or think badly of anyone who didn't get them- in my school perhaps a third of the children bring something at Christmas and the end of term.

There have in the past been a few gifts that I have quietly given away (the pair of shoes that didn't fit and weren't to my taste spring to mind) and Herecomesthesciencebint can I just say that I would be very pleased with a set of tea towels? Always useful!

Pozzled, You received a pair of shoes?? How very odd!

At our school we always do a class collection but it's not compulsory and I'm always happy to contribute to this. DC will also do their own cards as well. At the end of last term we also gave a bottle of wine to our dd's teacher as a extra thank you as she was so good.

I've recently started working in a school myself and we are sinking in chocs/biscuits/sweets that are coming in each day. We are all very grateful and are enjoying eating them!

I send a card with a personalised thank you message at Christmas and i buy a book for the school library at the end of term.

I'm a teacher - lovely though it is to get wine and hocs and the occasional nice bit of costume jewellery, I find it awkward and embarrassing, especially for the kids who for whatever reason haven't brought a present and stand there looking equally awkward as I thank the ones who hav.in our school, not an affluent area, often there's not the money, not just a matter of personal choice as to whether or not they give anything). Wish the Govt would declare it illegal and put a stop to it, it's the inequality it creates amongst pupils.

I'm getting them posh instant hot choc as there is a teacher and four TAs. This way they don't have to divide up a tin of quality street 5 ways and they can have a hot cuppa at breaktime. Also, I've got 36 people to buy for this year so they're not getting much.

However, I don't think its obligatory and would think nothing of it if teacher presents went out of fashion or more likely, got banned!