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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

How old was your baby when you first left them over night??

128 replies

ElleAndBump · 13/12/2010 21:03

just wondering what age you left your baby for first time over night? ive left my 4.5mth dd with my parents or his during the day before when working, but never over night and on the 29th my oh sisters party is a hours drive away and we would have to stay over night and leave my dd with my mum, i think we going to go but still feel little bad about leaving her all day and night, going to miss her laods and its not like im that near, so was just interested to see when evryone else left their babies over night for first time?

OP posts:
maighdlin · 14/12/2010 11:13

my mum took dd when she was about 6 weeks old. i had to get steroid injections so couldn't do anything for 24 hours. my mum was wanting to take dd from she was 5 days old and just home from hospital. mind you my mum is probably the best person to leave your baby with (retired hv and neonatal nurse plus four of her own and much fostering)

craftynclothy · 14/12/2010 11:19

dd1 was 8 months and I left her for the MN Xmas party Grin. I think it's the only time she's been left overnight.

dd2 has never been left overnight (she's now 16 months).

I don't think it's so much about leaving them overnight just that we don't really get much opportunity for it. Also we have no-one nearby that can have them overnight. Our nearest "babysitters" (aka my parents) are over 2 hours away by car.

Bumpsadaisie · 14/12/2010 11:28

DD 16mths - left with GPs who have her two days a week and it was fine.

She had already been on her own earlier with DH while I was away for a night with work on a couple of occasions.

Mumwithareindeertattoo · 14/12/2010 11:51

DD is 2.7 and DS is 8 months. The only time DD has been left overnight was with in PILs when her brother was born.

I would actually like to leave DD (DS is still bf) overnight with grandparents occasionally. But as both sets of grandparents are a long way away it hasn't been possible. We have left GPs with kids in the evening occasionally (either at our house or theirs) but we always end up staying at the same place too.

I guess where all grandparents are a long way away there is no scope for just leaving DC for one night. Being away from the kids for a whole weekend or longer is much trickier for everyone.

thisisyesterday · 14/12/2010 11:54

ds1 first stayed at his Grandparents house when he was about 4.5yrs

I went to a hen night earlier this year and stayed away overnight for the first time since he was born! He was 5.5 then, and the other 2 were nearly 3 and 14 months. first time i'd left the little 2 overnight

Rugbylovingmum · 14/12/2010 12:04

DD was about 9 months when I first left her with my parents for a day and night. I had just stopped breastfeeding and she was generally sleeping through and my parents were desperate to have her to stay. DP and I booked a hotel not too far from my parents so we could go off and have a weekend together but without being too far away (mostly to avoid lots of driving after dropping her off but also in case of any problems). She had a great time with my mum and dad and we had a lovely weekend relaxing together so we have left her a couple of times since then and gone to a concert in London and to a friends wedding.

OhCobblers · 14/12/2010 12:49

DC1 was 4 1/2 months the first time and it was 2 weeks after that that we were away again.

DC2 was 5 months.

AnonEnormousStuffedBird · 14/12/2010 13:10

DS - about 6 months, for one night for a special occasion. I was ok, as I was very excited to be at the event I was at, but was glad it was only the one night.

I then left him again at about 10 months for 4 nights and I cried the whole time. All the way across the atlantic, blubbing through JFK airport..

WHAT THE HELL WAS I DOING??? I don't know. But being 6 months pregnant and incredibly hormonal contributed I suspect! I wouldn't leave them again for so long even though they are older.

I just pine like crazy!

FindingAManger · 14/12/2010 14:39

about 2 - I left her with DP. Never had need or desire to do it really. It was bliss though - I stayed over at a friends, we stayed up late & I slept in till 11 :}

mosschops30 · 14/12/2010 14:41

dd, cant remeber but Id say about 4 months.
ds1, 4 months
ds2, 4 weeks, we went to neighbours for new year and the in laws offered so we took them up on it, it was nice to have the break after what we'd been through

Loie159 · 14/12/2010 14:45

it is hard to leave them for the first time whether they are weeks, months or years old.... ds was 8 weeks old (my sister lived 500 yards from my mum so i settled him to bed and then left him to go to sisters house for a chill out and collapse in bed!) Then I went back abou 10am. did the same with dd at about 4 months. I would say it is fine to leave them if you are fine to leave them. Be kind to yourself and if you decide to do it then do it and dont beat yourself up! They are with someone who loves them and will be well looked after, so enjoy yourself as you dont know when you might get the chance to go out again!!! Smile

HecTheHallsWithBoughsOfHolly · 14/12/2010 16:44

they are 10 & 11 years old and apart from when I've been in hospital, I don't think I ever have.

Does anyone want to babysit? Anyone? anyone at all? MNers? Postie? Slightly unhinged woman across the road? anyone???

octopusinabox · 14/12/2010 16:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

jellybeans · 14/12/2010 17:09

Mine were about 3 I think. With my parents. 7 with cubs/friends etc.

ChoudeBruxelles · 14/12/2010 17:13

About 6 weeks. Left him with my Mum overnight. Looking back was starting to get symptoms of PND and just needed a night's sleep. He was fine though.

YulenoYurbubson · 14/12/2010 17:13

They are 4.7 and 2.8. I have never left them.

Except for leaving dd when I was in hospital having ds, but she was with dh - does that count?

Firawla · 14/12/2010 19:24

i've never left either of them, 2.5 yr old and very nearly 1 yr old. well the elder one was left @ home when i was in hospital giving birth, my mum stayed over with him, and i was back the next day, so i don't really count it as leaving him, although i suppose maybe it does count? but he hardly noticed and he was in his own home (was 17 months @ the time)

SnowyBriar · 14/12/2010 19:29

My 3 are between 10 and 13 y/o ... I've never left them anywhere over night!

I've just realised that this sounds soooo over protective...it isn't...it's just that the need to leave them/have an overnight babysitter has just never arisen.

We are boring old farts and like being at home in our own bed to sleep.

MaybeTomorrow · 14/12/2010 19:32

Not at all yet and can't see it happening anytime soon. DD is 18 months old. PIL work full-time and my Mum had 5 of us and is constantly being 'put-upon' by my siblings with last minute 'emergencies' Hmm to have their children, so we said that we wouldn't do that.

Have a great CM though and I'm sure if I asked really nicely, she would take DD for a night, DD probably knows her better than my family anyway! So wouldn't not do it, just haven't had the need yet! Smile

messylittlemonkey · 14/12/2010 19:33

DD1 was three (years not months!)

Just never wanted to leave her before then. Not sure why.

DD2 is now 9 months. We've no intention of leaving her anytime soon either.

I don't hve problem with people leaving their DC overnight at a young age, just wouldn't do it myself :)

pointythings · 14/12/2010 21:37

DD1 was 8 months - I was going on The Weakest Link so overnight stay required. It was fine, though my boobs were killing me by the time I got home despite expressing.

DD2 - didn't leave her overnight until she was almost 5, clearly I stopped having a life after my second child Grin.

jester68 · 14/12/2010 21:42

Well I am going to sound awful but my first daughter was 5 weeks old when I left her for the night

bitsyandbetty · 14/12/2010 21:45

I had to go on a conference in Dublin for three days when my eldest was five months old. I was crying all the way over but I don't think it scarred him for life.

jester68 · 14/12/2010 21:51

Mind you, I did live with my mum at the time ,and it was an even that was prearranged before I knew I was pregnant and had cost a lot of money. It was local but went on till 4am. So I bathed my dd and put her to bed. She was only waking once a night by then normally around 1am. Then would wake for a feed and nappy change at 7am, then go back of till 10am. I got home at 11am.

My daughter would reguarly stay with my mum and she enjoys it now and stays with her every 6-8 weeks for the weekend.

My second daughter was left with my mum and her sister for 2 hours when she was 3 months old while my partner took me out for my birthday meal (first time in ages!)

Then at 5 months old she and her sister stayed with my mum for 2 nights while me and my partner spent an anniversary break together.

They are due to spend this weekend at my mum's while I get the house clean throughout plus finish off xmas food shopping and xmas wrapping. Plus my partner is paying for me to have my hair done for xmas so have that booked for the saturday morning.

I know I sound bad to some but I have medical issues so my mum has always helped me a lot and after I moved out when my eldest was 1 years old she made me promise that she could still have my daughter regular (and now the baby). I am very lucky.

We still see her in between as well. We talk on phone everyday, see each other at least every 3-4 weeks (she works monday-thursday and lives a 40 min drive away).
We have always been incredibly close

JingleBelleDameSansMerci · 14/12/2010 21:52

I left my DD overnight for the first time last night. She's 3.3 and she was left with her father (who doesn't live with us). She didn't want to speak to me this morning because she was too busy watching Dora the Explorer - that's how much she missed me then! I missed her terribly...