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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think women writhing around in suspenders and stockings is...

640 replies

hatwoman · 11/12/2010 20:52

...not really family viewing? I've barely watched x-factor in my life but I had thought everyone said that, for all its faults, it was something that had got families watching telly together. I was expecting wholesome boy bands and gutsy young girls. Clearly I'm naive and a prude.

OP posts:
frazzell · 11/12/2010 22:53

Speaking from experience there's no point complaining to ofcom they won't do anything

TheCrackFox · 11/12/2010 22:54

She maybe is dieting like crazy at the moment.

I don't care if she is 20 stone or 7 stone - there is a time and a place for everything.

HerBeatitude · 11/12/2010 22:55

The problem with the solution of every family taking full responsibility for the whole way the media portrays women, is that it won't protect your daughters from rape, sexual assault and abuse caused by the presumption of many men, that women aren't quite as human as men are.

Our daughters have a 1 in 4 chance of being raped or sexually assaulted in their lifetimes. No amount of high self-esteem can protect them from that, if they are surrounded by men who think they have the right to rape and sexually assault them. The objectification of women, is part of the problem in creating a climate where rape and sexual assault is so normal. Turning off your TV won't solve the fact that 25% of our DD's are going to be raped or sexually assaulted and the media messages about women simply being fuck-toys, not full human beings are part of the climate that allows this level of sexual hatred to exist.

LeninGrad · 11/12/2010 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ellesbelles79 · 11/12/2010 22:57

Fair point Crackfox

I guess these things can be tricky to monitor 100% of the time....

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 11/12/2010 22:57

Don't you see the irony in this?

Here we are discussing Christina's weight, her self image, her body. A few pounds up or down. What about her music?

That's THE WHOLE POINT about objectification of women, what they do is secondary to what they look like.

MsSparkle · 11/12/2010 22:57

So if it isn't the performances per se that you are objecting too but the time of them, why are you all picking CA and R apart when it's not their fault what time they were on. Surly it's ITV who decided to put them on before 9pm?

Ladyofthehousespeaking · 11/12/2010 22:58

So men are so stupid that they watch a performance like that and say 'oh fab, i shall definitly rape that girl fromthe bus stop now, since I saw some sexy dancing'

corlan · 11/12/2010 22:58

Lady The thing is 'X factor' is probably the most popular program on TV and when they see Rihanna simulate sex acts in her dance, it's undermining what we teach our children about self-respect.
It makes it look as if we're just hopelessly out of touch.If it's on such a popular show that our kids usually watch, it's normalising it.
I argue with the girls at school about respecting themselves more but at the end of the day,I really think they feel I am just a bit quaint and old fashioned.

LeninGrad · 11/12/2010 22:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HerBeatitude · 11/12/2010 22:59

There is a point in complaining to OFCOM. In the short term, they'll do sweet FA about it, but if people keep complaining, over and over again, it creates a climate where they may realise that this stuff is shit. It's like turning a tanker around.

It's also worth targeting the X FActor advertisers. Brand protection is very very important to them.

MsSparkle · 11/12/2010 22:59

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland not for me it isn't. I lisen to CA music everyday but i can't say i have ever discussed her body as much as i have on MN this evening. Then that is only to defend her from being called fat!

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland · 11/12/2010 23:01

It took you til now to mention her music. And you're supposedly a fan.

TheCrackFox · 11/12/2010 23:01

It isn't their fault what time they were put on but they could have altered their performance to suit the show.

Year ago Kylie was on CD:UK promoting Spinning Around (quite a sexy video), she performed wearing jeans and a vest. Rihanna and Christina could have done similar but chose to do soft porn instead. No one held a gun to their heads.

oneortwo · 11/12/2010 23:01

WIAWWW
I've always thought that CA's voice wasn't given the credit it deserves

she's not famous for her voice, she's famous for her image, which just says that her talent isn't enough doesn't it Sad

ITV didn't think that alone would be entertaining enough Sad

HerBeatitude · 11/12/2010 23:02

No Ladyofthehouse, of course not, what an unintelligent thing to say.

Creating a hostile climate, is a lot more than one routine or one programme, of course it is. But if this sort of shit is being beamed into people's houses day in day out, getting into children's brains day in day out, then it becomes normalised and acceptable and everyone forgets that it is porn and that it is promoting a view of women which is harmful to us.

amijee · 11/12/2010 23:02

So Rihanna was simulating sex acts?

FFS - you sound like some fundamentalist condemning the evils of dancing.

It's called dancing!! That's what you do. You move your body ( that includes your hips and your butt) and if you do it properly, your hips and butt move a lot.

You need to wake up and smell the coffee. Lady is absolutely right - instead of getting so het up about offcom and all the rest of it, you should be giving your kids self confidence, self esteem, self respect and respect for others.

PS - your kids will all want to dance like that if they are not doing so already!

MollieO · 11/12/2010 23:03

I agree about the normalising element. Someone posted on here earlier saying that Bucks Fizz were shocking in their day. No they weren't, it was simply that they did it in the Eurovision Song Contest.

I have a ds not a dd but I don't want him growing up thinking that this type of explicit behaviour is normal and acceptable.

corlan · 11/12/2010 23:03

amijee are you a man?

oneortwo · 11/12/2010 23:04

HB good idea, who are the advertisers?

I agree that there IS a point in complaining to ofstead
saying there isn't is like saying there's no point voting

apathy is an action!

ellesbelles79 · 11/12/2010 23:04

women have been viewed in this way throughout the ages HerBeatitude

nothing new there...

you will never stop these performers, singers, actors, models from sexualising themselves.

So all Im saying is - you need to take parental control and do the best you can to protect your family & your principles on the matter. You cant effect the media but you can teach your children that putting yourself across in this way, prancing around and gyrating your hips etc...is completely wrong.

amijee · 11/12/2010 23:05

I knew someone was going to ask this just because I have a different point of view.

No - I am a full time working mum of 3 kids.

MollieO · 11/12/2010 23:05

If the producers of the X Factor were totally ok with Rihanna's performance then why isn't on their youtube site?

MsSparkle · 11/12/2010 23:05

walkinginaWUKTERwonderland because the thread is about the sexualised performances of CA and Rihanna

bangs head against a brick wall

spaceman · 11/12/2010 23:05

Well said Corlan. It just makes our jobs of teaching our children about respect etc a whole lot harder if this is seen as the norm.

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