to expect a 5 yr old not to fart in front of me

[moogster1a]

my 5 year old mindee has taken to doing truly revolting farts. I keep telling him to leave the room if he needs to do one and keep reminding him that someone who smells of poo won't be popular.
Accordng to him and his sister their dad does it all the time at home and they seem nonplussed that I don't want to sit in a shitty smelling fug in my own home.
Should a 5 year old be able to restrain himself ( bearing in mind he seems to have been able to for the last 4 and a half years ).
There's been no change of diet by the way, i think he's just changing into a mini version of farting dad.

Moose - definitely.

I shall also smack myself for bending over and accidentally letting one slip this afternoon, and shall also reprimand dd who roared with laughter!

Whoever said the rhyme did the crime!

I am shocked and appalled by this immaturity, what is the World Wide Web coming to, I ask you?

Its a fart FFS. And he's 5!! Just ask him to say pardon me and leave it.

I would sit her on the naughty step for about a day, IslandMoose That'll learn her.

What you need to do, Figgy is bide your time. Wait until she's 13, and then teach her it in front of all her mates. They love that

hehe ds3 has loads of sn and is not very verbal but one day he let rip and i said excuse me what do you say and he said I fart and to make point clear was waving his hand around his bum.What happens when have older dc .

But i sat there and howled with laughter

I had forgotten "milk milk lemonade"

Figgypuddingrollsmuffintop I am SO glad you said that lol

I grew up with my uncle who is only 6 years older than me and we used to have farting compititions ALL THE TIME!! (We had limited entertainment in a very small village lol)

Im now with DH and we fart in each others company all the time. Its hardly anything to be ashamed of. EVERYBODY does it.

There are worst things a 5yo child could be doing IMO.

Some people really need to take the pole out of their bum!

There's one my dad always does, can't remember all the words...

A fart's a volcanic eruption
It flows through the valley of bum
Somethingy somethingy something
And comes out with a musical hum

It's not a fart, it's a 'bottom burp'

He's 5 years old FFs! Anyway he can't help it as it is a scientific fact that you can't hold what you haven't got in your hand. I think the OP needs to unclench (literally) and enjoy a good old rasper. It's rather liberating I feel.

Thank you Innie thats a much more polite term to use

www.amazon.com/Walter-Farting-Dog-William-Kotzwinkle/dp/1583940537

A perfect book for the OP

ps OP he's 5!! That's very small. It's only farts!

trouser cough

Doh! can't do links it appears

I think that you have all scared moogie away with your meaness and immaturity and should apologise profusely

Ah I love MN on a Friday night, am absolutely PMSL at montysorry and plentyofparsnips.

My dad used to (probably still does but I have left home and now live in the UK instead of NZ) run to the top of the stairs to fart because my mum didn't like him farting in bed. All you would hear in the middle of the night was [running to the top of the stairs] then paaaaaaaarrrrpp! Hilarious

Nope, not frightened away; just politely left the room for a few moments.

Poopy pants :o :o :o

Listen to this,
Too good to miss,
Da da da, da da, da da,
pppffffftttt.

Op, ffs, it's a FART!!!
A normal bodily function!!!

If you minded my DS and tried punishing him for something perfectly normal and natural, I would tell you where to stick your services!!!

YABU, telling kids that they smell and that no-one will like them, cause they let rip!!! What are you on!!!

moogster

Ok, so it is not nice but all 5 year olds pump their bums. Tis just the way of the world and it always will be so.

Welcome back Moogie

I've laughed so hard reading this thread I think I need a tena lady

I took my DD to the GP surgery a while ago at age 2 as she was poorly and she kept farting loudly in the waiting room and then saying even louder "pardon me" Even the elderly gent was sniggering, as well as everyone else. Was very cute. That's the only thing I've taught her though about farting. To be fair she doesn't do it too often though usually.

I agree with Hecate etc. Spot on.

I do think 5 is too young and some of what you said was unnecessary tbh.