to expect a 5 yr old not to fart in front of me

[moogster1a]

my 5 year old mindee has taken to doing truly revolting farts. I keep telling him to leave the room if he needs to do one and keep reminding him that someone who smells of poo won't be popular.
Accordng to him and his sister their dad does it all the time at home and they seem nonplussed that I don't want to sit in a shitty smelling fug in my own home.
Should a 5 year old be able to restrain himself ( bearing in mind he seems to have been able to for the last 4 and a half years ).
There's been no change of diet by the way, i think he's just changing into a mini version of farting dad.

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat, the more you toot
The more you toot, the better you feel
So eat your beans with every meal

Actually, I went out with a bloke who farted CONSTANTLY!

even during sex.

well, I say "went out with"

That implies slightly more of a relationship than actually existed.

Oh but it was disgusting.

My 5yr old DD1 is at it all the time. She loves it and actually, it's made her very popular and cool at school! DS, who is 7, was just the same at 5. Finds it far less funny now.

I'd feel very uncomfortable if I thought yu were looking after my children with such an attitude.

I'm wondering if you're the sort of weird mother who teaches her children that masturbation is an unspeakable sin too!

Right if anyone else wants to follow Marty and Ferrity's lead and sing vulgar songs could they please leave the room to do so or at least say excuse me afterwards. It disgusting

A Belch is but a gust of wind
That cometh from the Heart,
But should it take a downward trend,
Turneth into a Fart

apple tart makes you fart
custard powder makes it louder

"I'm wondering if you're the sort of weird mother who teaches her children that masturbation is an unspeakable sin too!"
well if they started doing it in the same room as everyone else whilst we're watching tele, then yes! ( not the sin bit, the socially unacceptable )

Ooh I kind of did 2old4thislark, worded it badly though!

Heccy there was not need to inform us of all this unfortunate experience and Monty there was not need to bring the M word into it all. Really what is Mumsnet coming to?

Is this the right thread for

'Milk, milk, lemonade
Round the corner, chocolate's made'

I do hope so.

I'm lost now, Hec - which bit was to me?

Oh catch yourselves on....ITS A FART!!!!

You cant hold whats not in your hand, better out than in!!

I'm not surprised you're baffled. I think we all are.

You said "But he's five - if he's farting on purpose for the laugh he wouldn't be let away with it at school so why should a CM ignore it?"

and the part of what I said - at some point later - that was to you was only this

"You shouldn't ignore it.

you should teach them that it is not socially acceptable."

and then I sort of wandered off ranting generally

Dippy

Seonie

At least Munchie had the decency to say excuse me

Oh . Yes, I get that completely. And I completely get that it's hilarious when you're five. But I have worked with children who will burp right in your face, just to see what you do. And I would have to say that isn't funny or acceptable - it's all to do with the intent.

So - 5 yo farting and giggling - stern look but not really cross
5 yo farting by accident - ignore or ask them to say "excuse me" or whatever your bag is
5 yo farting to get a rise out of you - you'd have to let them know that it wasn't on. But NOT by implying they would be a stinky no-mates or naughty step or punishment.

There - my position is clear

Oh dear Lord! I have heard it all now!!

Masturbation-masturbation-masturbation

My MIL once called it, 'that ghastly M word'

So immature

Was that one to me Charlie?

Does he do the standard or a more high-pitched < preeeep >, or perhaps a long and low ? More details would help.

Just reminded dh about "milk, milk,lemonade, round the corner chocolate's made" and am considering teaching it to dd (3) in the morning. She will be the most popular at nursery!

Frankly I think farting is funny and dh and I often have competitions (not in general public). We both find it hilarious because sil "doesn't fart" .

To the point though - a quick "that's not polite" and ignoring is better than what your op has suggested you have said. Poor child, he's only 5 ffs!

Thank heavens for MN - I hadn't realised what a bad parent I was. Earlier this week I took my 17 month old to the doctors and, whilst we were waiting, she bent over to pick up a book and let out the most enormous nappy-rattler I've ever heard. Can you believe it, I failed to reprimand her (although it's unlikely she'd have heard any such admonishment over the giggles permeating the waiting room at that point). Do you think some kind of disciplinary action can be implemented at this stage?

the one that smelt it, dealt it!