to be shocked that my (childless) friend said this?

[tjandpootle]

Last weekend I went to stay with an old friend and her DH (they don't have any kids - their choice). We took our 2 pre-school DCs, as did two other couples (also friends of ours).

None of the kids were especially naughty but they do come with a certain degree of chaos, mess and noise. My friend's DH literally followed the kids around with a hand-held hoover, tutting audibly all the time. At one point he ripped into my DS as he'd knocked a small bowl of crisps on the floor.

In the morning my friend made an audible dig about being woken up by screaming kids - my DD (not yet 1) woke up at 7am which is late for her and was just making normal chatty noises, not screaming.

When we went to leave, my friend said "The problem with the world today is that children have it too easy and we need another war to galvanise British spirit and teach them one or two things about survival."

I was and lost for words.

Does she have a point or am I right to be ?

Are they beyond child bearing age or is it likely that they will reproduce at some point? If the latter, karma may have something special in mind for them! And why invite someone with kids if they hate them so much?

Randomama - that is un.believeable. What a prick!

There was nothing in the OP's OP to suggest that the children were badly behaved. Or she has a "laissez-faire" attitude. She is simply accepting of the fact that children cause a bit of noise and chaos.

If they disliked children so much, why have friends who have young children over to stay , I wouldent. Was it just to prove a point, that they did the right thing not having children of their own. Dont stay there again imo.

Well I definitely think the 'friends' were very badly behaved 'hosts' indeed. They need to be naughty stepped.

I invited six adults round for a drinks party last week, one of them broke a champagne glass. He asked if it was a wedding present or (it was), I of course, said no, not to worry.

Being a gracious host needs to extend to all guests IMO, children are people too, and AFAIK these children from the OP didn't disrespect or break anything.

Anyway, there are lots of passive aggressive tactics to control badly behaved guests, children included, without resorting to barely concealed contempt.

For example sofa-jumping can be dealt with by "Oh do come down poppet, I'd hate for you to hurt yourself!" communicates clearly to the parent that sofa-jumping isn't tolerated, without being too personal.

I hope TJ returns and promises to remonstrate with this friend.

Are you sure they were taking about your kids OP? There were two other families guesting at the house.

If they were this direct about it then perhaps they were referring to one of the other couples children, and you maybe just didnt notice the bad behaviour yourself?

YANBU. SIL and DP are having IVf at the moment and, while I really hope for them it works, I am looking forward to the day their immaculate, very white totally child unfriendly home is puked and pooed over by a small baby. When I visit with DS we're only allowed in the kitchen so that DS doesn't get dirt on the carpets.

Do you really need to ask?

For those of you who asked - my friend will definitely not be having any children. She made a big thing of telling us that her DH had the snip a few months ago.

My DCs weren't the only ones that got the wrath of my friend's DH. Friend's DS was interested in the Xmas lights and found the switch.

I'm not very good with confrontation so if I'm honest, I probably won't remonstrate with said friend. However, I will be making suggestions that in future, we have our Xmas get-together in a hotel and get babysitters.

Preschoolers cannot be relied on not to touch forbidden stuff without being constantly reminded by adults.

Sure, a 3yo will snatch their hand back if adult says "don't touch" but if siad adult happens to take their eyes off them for a few seconds (to talk to another adult) they will take the opportunity to grab those precious architectural models and have a look. They are just too tempting.

Therefore, a parent in a friend's house with their preschooler will spend the whole time watching the child like a hawk saying "don't touch" every few seconds and will have no time to chat to the friend.

If you want to have ANY chance of chatting with your friend then moving tempting stuff well out of reach well in advance is a good idea.

And closing the doors of rooms you don't want kids to go in helps. Locking usually not necessary, a closed door is usually enough of a deterrent (or slows them down enough to be noticed)

It's up to you. If you want your friends with preschool kids to feel welcome, spend a bit of time moving stuff.

If you don't want to make them feel welcome, why invite them?

When my kids were small I had a few childless friends who would invite us round and not move tempting knicknacks. I found the visits so stressful that I stopped visiting.

YANBU, I would ask her what she expected when she invited a load of children to stay over.

Next time, all you need to do is to point out which room the couple sleep in and tell all your kids that this couple liked nothing more than pillow fights first thing in the morning....

StillSquiffy, you are awful.....!