in thinking that this work trip is like a trip from hell? as others at work think I am

[Ferb123]

every year, our global company host a big get together for senior staff. It's always somewhere abroad and normally fairly hard going (everyone has to do presentations, we do breakfast then straight to work, lunch in the conference hall, straight to dinner, bed, wake up for breakfast). It's v tiring but because of that, has always been held in quite a nice luxurious hotel within say 15-30 mins of an international airport so it's easy for everyone. You don't get much time to yourself but at least you do get your own space in the evening.

I've just received the invitation for this year's one and it's not being held in a hotel this year. They have decided to hold it in (what are supposed to be) luxury cabins (same price as the hotel) in the middle of fucking nowhere - about 2 hours from a regional airport. And I've just looked them up and they are tiny. The bedrooms are v v close together, there are obviously no locks on the door. Some of the bedrooms have bunk beds for children (they are family lodges, designed for family groups or groups of friends). Not all of them have bathrooms.

I am the only woman going. I don't particularly want to share bathrooms with a whole load of blokes I don't even know that well. Nor do I particularly want to hear them snoring through the walls or strolling around in their pyjamas. This isn't a young company, the people coming are v senior (so nost are in their 60s), not that this bothers me, but I'm now going to have to spend every minute with them as all the recreational areas (like the lounge) are open plan and obviously, because it's a lodge there are no TVs or desks in the rooms!

It's for a whole bloody week and I am dreading it. Coupled with the fact that one of the men who came last time spent most of his time knocking on my hotel room door (I could lock it and pretend I wasn't there) saying he wanted 'a coffee' (yes you can imagine his intentions) and he is already looking totally fucking gleeful at the arrangement....no locks on the door, free range to roam around :(. What the fuck am I going to do!

Spoke to my boss who said 'I don't know what's wrong with you, it'll be great, you can have your own room with a bathroom' ARRRGHHH

oh god, please tell me it isn't me

YANBU. Sounds like my idea of hell, from the way you've described it.

Sounds absolutely horrendous! Can you get out of it?

Sounds hellish to me!

Do you have to go? can you be sick at the last minute?

Well your boss has said you can have your own room with a bathroom so it should be ok

Oh God. I used to have to go to these kinds of things with my last company. They're bad enough when they are at luxury hotels etc but this sounds like it will be hellish. I know how hard it is to get out of these things.

Not sure what to suggest apart from speaking with organisers to ensure that you get a room on your own, with a lock, etc. You may have to invent some kind of "condition"!

YANBU

But can you link is to this hostel so we can have nosy look at it and judge properly?

Poor you-there will be a chair you can put against the door and you can put your headphones in and ignore ignore.

Perhaps a family emergency could call you home a little early?

Oh bloody hell, no way are you being unreasonable. I wouldn't want to go either!

YANBU. Sounds bloody awful for everyone involved really, not just you.

Don't have any practical advice, sorry, just wanted to sympathise!

Can you phone the cabins yourself and confirm exactly which room you are staying in?

Utter hell. Has someone decided to make it a "team-building" experience? or are they just arseholes? I'd feel a bout of flu coming on if anyone suggested it to me....

If you have to go, I'd take a door wedge to make up for the lack of a lock, specially if someone is likely to intrude... And take up jogging or long-distance walking to get a bit of space.

Say you sleepwalk so really need a lock on your bedroom door.

YANBU

oh thank GOODNESS, I thought it was just me lol

no, even worse, the rooms aren't allocated and the leech, the one who keeps knocking on my door....I asked the lady booking the flights and I said who has booked tickets so far (as I wanted to deliberately go on a different flight to the leech) and she reeled off the names....and she said 'this man (the leech) is waiting to see what flight you book as he knows you need to hire a car to drive, and he thought he could go with you as he knows the area and you don't' ARRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

if I cry off, they will cancel the whole thing apparently (no pressure then ffs)

put furniture by your door? It does sound awful though

I would speak to the organiser, and explain that you are the only woman going, so would prefer to have a room allocated in advance, with your own bathroom, since some may have to share and it may be uncomfortable all round. That's not unreasonable to request, in the circumstances.

I'd be tempted to also speak to the woman arranging the flights, asking her not to pass on the information as you'd prefer him not to know. Or are there others going who you could make an arrangement with? You could arrange to hire a car together with one or two others, then even if leech suggests joining you, you'll not be on your own with him.

You can't change the overall arrangement this time, but I'd certainly also speak to the organiser for future years - if you being there is so important, they should be prepared to consider your views.

yes I think I will have to be totally blunt even if they think I am a complete loon!

sounds pretty dismal as a concept but quite intolerable as you sound genuinely in fear from this creep. think as twoistwice says you will need to be pretty blunt.

Could you take something like this with you?

It certainly sounds like the time one of your children contracts a communicable disease that renders you unable to fly as you might be contagious.
I'll get googleing and see if they could get anything else apart from chicken pox.

I'd say it's totally unacceptable to not be able to lock your door. I'd also get something done about the leechy man- even if it's having a word with HR about his unacceptable behaviour.

In fact why not go to HR and explain your discomfort with the planned acommodation, explaining what happened last time- constant harassment by leechy man.

nah I can't be honest about this bloke, that would spell huge trouble and if it ever came out, he'd launch a massive anti-me campaign and it just wouldn't be worth it.

I will be blunt with organiser and just say, even if she thinks I am mad, I am feeling uncomfortable and want the rooms pre allocated (then I can give suggested names for the cabin).

If leech manages to get into my cabin, thinking about that alarm, what I will do is scream the place down if he tries to open the door. That should alert everyone else and I imagine should stop him pretty quickly. LOVE that doorstop alarm lol hormone, thanks.

Do you have a Christmas do coming up that leechy man is going to? Can you take DP/DH/male friend to threaten intimidate him a little?