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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my daughter have tv in her bedroom

113 replies

Cumbrian07 · 05/12/2010 00:45

I'm thinking about getting my 10 year old daughter a tv in her bedroom for Christmas. Mainly for watching DVDs when friends cone round or just for chill
/relaxing time. We only have a loungediner and a kitchen downstairs so it would give us more options for different family members to watch what they want on tv. However my MIL is horified by the idea and is making me feel like a terrible mother. She thinks it's the beginning of the end of family life and that she'll end up failing all her exams and become a couch potato and a slob. Is it that damaging to children?

OP posts:

newwave · 05/12/2010 00:46

Both my sons got theirs when they went to the Comp school

igetmorelovefromthecat · 05/12/2010 00:48

No I think 10 is fine, I think I was 10 when I got a TV in my room and I was quite sensible with it and watched it sometimes but much preferred being in the living room with everyone else.

Some of DD's friends have a TV in their rooms and they are only 6 . Now that's a bit wrong I think.

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 00:52

I wouldn't.

I don't like them in childrens rooms, pretty much for the reasons your MIL said, but without the 'judgey tone'

I don't like not knowing what they are watching, that they stay up later watching crap and you will see less of her.

Why not put a TV in your room - then you can let her use it sometimes (when you are fed up of whatever it is 10 year old girls want to watch all the time!).

You will get a 50/50 response though and it isn't the end of the world - it's just not something I would choose to do.

aristomache · 05/12/2010 00:52

Jeez my dd had a TV in her room at 4. believe it or not she has not turned out to be an insominiac,a drug addict or a homicidal maniac!!

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 00:52

I don't see the difference between 6 & 10.

igetmorelovefromthecat · 05/12/2010 00:54

You don't think there is a difference in the common sense and maturity of a child who is 6 and a child who is 10, ChippingIn? Really?

Sidge · 05/12/2010 00:54

I think it's fine but you'll find MN quite divided on this one!

My eldest (now 12) has had a TV in her room since she was quite little, first with a video and now with a DVD player. She always knew that she had to ask to watch it and only ever watched it for a little while at a time. She never turned it on in the evening.

She loves to read, draw, colour, listen to music, play with her toys etc and is doing very well at school so certainly isn't zoned out in front of a screen for hours at a time. Actually DH and I just said this evening that we can't remember when she last actually watched her TV alone upstairs.

PandaNot · 05/12/2010 00:54

My ds(6) has a tv in his room but only for watching dvds - it's not connected to an aerial - so he can only watch it if he asks us to put something on.

aristomache · 05/12/2010 00:56

what sidge said. My dd loves nothing more than spending time with me!

she loves to draw,make clothes for her dolls and teddies, and really loves to read.

Having a TV in her room hasn't scarred her for life.

piprabbit · 05/12/2010 00:57

Well there is research that links TVs in bedroom to lower levels of school achievement and higher levels of obesity - but I don't know how watertight the research is.

If it's mostly going to be used to watch DVDs, why not get her a TV with a built-in DVD player and then fail to connect the aerial? At least that way you would have little more control over what she is watching.

piprabbit · 05/12/2010 00:58

x-post with Pandanot - Oops.

CoventryCarole · 05/12/2010 01:00

Well. I had a telly in my room when I was about 11.

I stayed up until the small hours watching it (sometimes with headphones)

I watched stuff like Eurotrash and Hannibal.

I did spend more time in my room and away from family.

I did get into a good uni and do well, but I did do all the above things too and am a fairly productive member of society.

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 01:06

igetmorelovefromthecat - do you have to be so attacking? That is not what I said. I said I don't see the difference in having a TV in the room of a 6 year or of a 10 year old and quite frankly, if anything, the 6 year old is less likely to sneakily watch programs they shouldn't and stay up late watching stuff or want to be in there alone of an evening.

It is my opinion that TV's in DC's rooms are not a good idea. I didn't say it was straight to hell in a handcart for those that do or makes angels out of those who don't - just that I don't think it's a good idea.

BitOfFun · 05/12/2010 01:08

IME a tv in the bedroom doesn't make much difference to time spent together. Kids tend to want to be around you more than doing their own thing. It might not be universally true, but it seems to be the case here.

Igglystuffedfullofturkey · 05/12/2010 01:10

I'm the same as Coventry. Stayed up late and watched a lot of terrible tv.

Could you get a flatscreen tv which could easily be moved to her room when friends come over? Seems a strange reason to get a telly for that reason.

DH and I used to have a tv in our room but decided to get rid of it and treat our bedroom as somewhere for sleeping and sex

Best thing we ever did!

sims2fan · 05/12/2010 01:14

I think my mother did a wonderful job in raising me and my brother, but I think that practically the worst thing she did as a parent was give me a TV for my room on my 12th birthday. I am great at procrastinating, and as a teenager every night would say, 'I'm going upstairs to do my homework' and would then spend hours watching TV instead. Fortunately I still did well at GCSEs, though my A Levels could definitely have been better. All kids are different and your daughter might not watch it all hours like I did, but my kids will not be having a TV in their rooms. I don't have one now as an adult.

MaureenMLove · 05/12/2010 01:15

My DD has had a TV in her room since she was about 10. She is 15 now and doesn't watch it much. It's usually on a music channel.

The survey that says it leads to obesity and lower acheiving at school, is a pile of poo frankly. It's only a problem, for those parents who don't police it properly and don't care what their kids do in their bedrooms.

CoventryCarole · 05/12/2010 01:17

Agree with sims. I was and am a massive procrastinator. Now I have my Iphone for procrastination ease. My GCSE results were, to be frank, not that fab and I could have done more productive things with my time. I think a TV in the room is too much of a temptation.

MaureenMLove · 05/12/2010 01:20

But only if you allow them to do their homework in their bedroom, surely?

DD, does her homework, sitting at the dining room table, where I can see her.

Only when she had finished her homework and her jobs, is she allowed to chill in her bedroom and watch what she likes. (Until 10pm, when I go and make sure it's switched off).

AgentZigzag · 05/12/2010 01:22

Unless you've got Sky hooked up to it, what on earth is there for them to watch on terrestrial telly??

DD1 is 10 and I'm right pissed off she dropped the portable dvd player and broke it, we used to get a couple of hours peace and quiet while she watched a vid

I was exactly like sims, but I think it was the best thing my parents ever did. I could hide in my bedroom and not have to have anything to do with them.

If they're stopping in their rooms more than you think they should, then the problem isn't going to be that they've got a telly in there.

BaggedandTagged · 05/12/2010 01:24

"The survey that says it leads to obesity and lower acheiving at school, is a pile of poo frankly"

Well I dont think you can disregard it entirely. There is a correlation between those 3 things. However, it's only a correlation, not cause and effect

ie they havent proved that TVs in rooms lead to obesity and low school achievement, only that they co-exist. All 3 factors may well be caused by another factor rather than by each other

TattytinsellooksDevine · 05/12/2010 07:38

I think TV's in rooms and the age of it happening is one of those parenting decisions you just have to make on your own merits, based on your child, the layout of your house, your rules, etc, and not involve anyone else (particularly mother in laws) in the decision making process or justify it to anyone.

You think there is a need for it, you try it, if there is something you dont like about it that you hadn't considered, you remove it.

Its naff all to do with anyone else but more to the point what goes wrong for one person will not necessarily happen for another.

If you think it will provide a benefit to the dynamic and logistics of your household then do it, and if it doesn't work, sell it! And too hell with what anyone else says or does.

FanjolinaJolie · 05/12/2010 08:14

I wouldn't do it.

altinkum · 05/12/2010 08:20

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ShanahansRevenge · 05/12/2010 08:36

I don't see the point really....I do think that theyshold get one once they rech puberty because it's then they need some time and space of their own.

I think children belong within the family unit in the day time and in the evening they should be sleeping in their bedrooms....readings not the same as watching tv...it won't stimulate them as much.

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