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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my daughter have tv in her bedroom

113 replies

Cumbrian07 · 05/12/2010 00:45

I'm thinking about getting my 10 year old daughter a tv in her bedroom for Christmas. Mainly for watching DVDs when friends cone round or just for chill
/relaxing time. We only have a loungediner and a kitchen downstairs so it would give us more options for different family members to watch what they want on tv. However my MIL is horified by the idea and is making me feel like a terrible mother. She thinks it's the beginning of the end of family life and that she'll end up failing all her exams and become a couch potato and a slob. Is it that damaging to children?

OP posts:

onceamai · 07/12/2010 07:54

Not sure how much longer your dd will want to relax in her room with her friends tbh. Also the tv in the room argument seems a bit overplayed to me when in a year or so she'll probably have a lap top and you will end up with little or no control over that!!

In the meantime, could compromises be either tv in room, no aerial so restricted to dvds or perhaps a tv in the kitchen so there are choices downstairs for all of you.

Chandon · 07/12/2010 07:59

it's a class thing.

Upper middle class people would not dream of it.

Woking and lower middle class would not dream of NOT putting a TV in every room

(ducks for cover)

PollyPhonny · 07/12/2010 09:09

Usualsuspect, Chandon has answered your question for me.

(also ducks for cover)

glastocat · 08/12/2010 00:25

Well I was brought up working class and am now pretty middle class, and have only one very old tv in the house. It isn't even a flat screen. So, Chandon and PollyPhonny, you're talking bollocks.

Oh, just remembered we have a portable for the Xbox in the toyroom, but thats for my husbands use.

catsinthejinglebelfry · 08/12/2010 00:34

Why on earth would you think having a TV in anyone's bedroom,let alone a child's is a good idea? noone needs to go to bed with the telly. Just total nonsense.

bobblehead · 08/12/2010 01:00

I wouldn't since I woke up to find my tv on fire one night.....

JarethTheGoblinKing · 08/12/2010 03:27

My rule has always been than you can have a TV in your room when you can afford one yourself. Admittedly DS is only 3, so I may well change my tune later on, but I hate the idea of TV's and screens in a children's/pre-teen's room.

I got my first TV at 17, because I bought it myself. Parent's disapproved muchly. Personally (and this is all just personal exp) my interest/diligence/concentration was very different.

My cousins have had TVs in their rooms since they were tiny. Since small ages they've watched all the soaps, etc. They don't read books.

Sweeping generalisations ahoy, I know, but hey... I wouldn't be the bookworm I am now if I'd had a TV in my room to switch my brain off to.

nooka · 08/12/2010 04:06

I like the idea of bedrooms as being (mostly) a quiet sanctuary. My children are 10 and 11 and we have one TV in our living room. We also have a den downstairs with a TV we use only for watching movies. We bought a portable DVD player for long car journeys a while back, and sometimes dd uses that in her room if she wants to watch something girly that no one else does, but it's not used much.

When their friends come over I don't want them to watch TV, I want them to play with each other, otherwise what's the point really? All the computers/consoles are in the living room too (dh has quite a collection) so that we can keep an eye / interject irritating commentary / tell ds to calm down when he gets too upset with losing. It works for us.

SarfEasticated · 08/12/2010 08:17

Crikey I must be upper middle class
will tell my retired car mechanic father, he'll be thrilled.

PollyPhonny · 08/12/2010 19:55

Ah, but is it worth preening about, SE? As I sit here in my stately home in four thermal layers, I'm not sure that it is.

SarfEasticated · 08/12/2010 20:33

I might have a go at preening for a bit, just to see how it feels, but tbh I like being the way I am.

alemci · 08/12/2010 20:42

i don't have tvs in my teenagers rooms. there is one in our room which they occasionally watch and an extra one in the extension.

i don't think it is a particularly good idea.

Oldjolyon · 09/12/2010 02:15

I think a lot of people are making judgements based on their assumptions on how the TV will be used, and tbh, I think that is an influencing factor for the decision many people make.

Several people on this thread have assumed that the tv will be watched at night time. Why does this have to be the case? My DDs have the tv in their room so they can watch movies on a Sunday morning. They cuddle up together and watch a movie. It is very cute, and does no harm.

Lots of people assume that TVs in rooms means that the parent will no longer know what the child is watching. Again, this is not necessarily the case - It will depend on what rules you put in place. We're one of those that have a tv and DVD, but no aerial in that room at all, making it physically impossible for them to watch tv. Therefore, I know more about what my children are watching when they have a DVD in their room, and I know less about what they are watching when they're downstairs watching tv (and I'm not in the same room!)

Again, people have assumed that having a TV will mean that your child will use it for socialising with friends, and will lead to them spending more time away from the family. Again, this is not necessarily the case - it depends on how often they watch the tv.

I really don't think it is as simplistic as saying tvs in room = bad. Too much of the issue will depend on when and how the TV is going to be used. For example, there is a whole world of difference between a child who has a TV in the room, but TV is used only to watch particular programmes (and never as background noise) and then there are children who do not have TVs in their rooms, but have the living room TV on constantly, and watch it endlessly.

The location of the TV is not necessarily the most important factor, that's a bit of a red herring imo, its when, how, and why the TV is used which is much more important to my thinking!

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