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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my daughter have tv in her bedroom

113 replies

Cumbrian07 · 05/12/2010 00:45

I'm thinking about getting my 10 year old daughter a tv in her bedroom for Christmas. Mainly for watching DVDs when friends cone round or just for chill
/relaxing time. We only have a loungediner and a kitchen downstairs so it would give us more options for different family members to watch what they want on tv. However my MIL is horified by the idea and is making me feel like a terrible mother. She thinks it's the beginning of the end of family life and that she'll end up failing all her exams and become a couch potato and a slob. Is it that damaging to children?

OP posts:

OhYouSnowySnowyKitten · 05/12/2010 11:35

We like having just the one tv in our house. Yes it means that we have to compromise and share, but I think that is a good thing for families to do. Evenings cuddled up on the sofa watching tv are lovely and I wouldn't want to introduce anything that mean less of that, it will come naturally enough in its own time.

CoventryCarole · 05/12/2010 12:08

I think the key is not connecting it to the aerial then! You can keep the DVDs in the living room, then you can be sure she will not be staying up late watching films. Problem solved.

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 12:16

At which point it is a DVD player and not a TV - quite a different beast

CoventryCarole · 05/12/2010 12:21

Well you need a television set in order to watch the DVDs, but if it's not connected to the aerial you can't watch telly on it, only DVDs

MumNWLondon · 05/12/2010 15:55

Personally I wouldn't. I agree with suggestion of having TV in your room and letting her watch it to chill out as a treat.

I was allowed TV in room after GCSE's and will probably hold off letting DC having TVs until then.

taintedsnow · 05/12/2010 16:24

As an aside, I have a friend who wasn't allowed to take a television to university with her. Her father even banned her from buying one. This went on until she was 22 (four year course) and she, for some bizarre reason, abided by his rule. He was/is a control freak to the nth degree though.

There needs to be a happy medium with this kind of thing I think.

mugggletoeandwine · 05/12/2010 16:42

I'm not putting an extra TV in my room, it's my space and I don't want a bunch of teenagers in there.
If we had another usable room downstairs I'd put one in there.

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 18:08

TaintedSnow How odd?!

Mugggle - I wouldn't want a bunch of teenagers in their either, but I suggested it to the OP who has one 10 year old Hopefully by the time she's a teenager they'll have won the euromillions and the kids can have a TV room

mugggletoeandwine · 05/12/2010 18:09

I have one 9yr old, she's still not going in my room!

ChippingIn · 05/12/2010 18:16

I have to say it's not ideal, but they don't have two living areas and I still think it's a better (though not ideal) option to having one in her DD's room... but each to their own and all that :)

PollyPhonny · 05/12/2010 22:18

I'm a bit puzzled by all these people who say 'my child has a TV in his/her room, but doesn't really watch it much, honest'. If they don't watch it, why have one? As for 'special treat' evening TV once a week with popcorn, why on earth not do that in a communal space? And if they want to watch DVDs, rather than TV, why not do it downstairs? I just don't get it.

I'm quite surprised that there are so relatively few dissenting voices on here.

usualsuspect · 05/12/2010 22:24

I never used TV as a special treat

tigitigi · 05/12/2010 22:27

Mine can have a tv in their room when they turn 18 (we have one for watching the news in the morning so when they are adults they can have one and make adult decisions about them).

Until then they will have to share the communal tv or negotiate what we are watching in the morning (it does go to cbeebies while we are in the shower).

hairyfairylights · 05/12/2010 22:28

Personally I think there should
be one family tv switched on only when there is something interesting that someone wants to watch.

usualsuspect · 05/12/2010 22:28

18!! MN makes me laugh sometimes ...

dustwhatdust · 05/12/2010 22:43

I'm horrified wtih the idea of tvs in childrens bedrooms , but then i am old fashioned maybe ?
Also , i definately think it's a class thing , the idea of communal family activities , something to be promoted and encouraged as much as possible - like ensuring the family sit down daily and eat together and talk at mealtimes etc.
I find the idea of everybody in thier own rooms separate sad.

nightmarebeforechristmas · 05/12/2010 22:45

yanbu go for it

chipsncurrysauce · 05/12/2010 22:53

No way. No appropriate. TV is fine when watched as a family (with a bit of negotiation about what is watched) but what kind of family do you have if you are all in your own rooms watching TV by yourselves? Children's bedrooms should be for sleeping. It is lovely to have books or even some music, but not TV.

Kiwiinkits · 05/12/2010 23:21

I don't think it's a good idea. Having TVs in bedrooms is not conducive to good sleep habits, particularly for teenagers. I also think having 'quiet spaces' like bedrooms is important, particularly in modern times when kids are 'switched on' to mobile phones, TV, computers, screens all the time. Sometimes you just need a little space to reflect and give your mind time to be quiet.

A better idea might be a laptop that she can watch DVDs on or 'stream' TV programmes from the internet. Increasingly TV shows are live streamed.

usualsuspect · 06/12/2010 07:51

'i definately think it's a class thing' why does it always come down to class on MN?

sieglinde · 06/12/2010 08:12

I think it's hard to argue against a child having a tv in a bedroom if you yourself have one.

FWIW, I am a strong believer in having just ONE tv for the whole family.

And no laptops in bedrooms either, otherwise ds would stay up all night happily streaming Heroes and playing Starcraft, and then fall asleep in RS, get detention, and involve me in pointless extra journeys, gah. I don't CARE if I'm a mean mother. Other kids may have more self-control....

bubbleymummy · 06/12/2010 08:43

The reason we let him watch one in his own room on a Friday night is so we can watch our own choice of movie in the living room! Of course if it's a suitable DVD then we would all watch it together as a family but strangely enough DH and I don't always want to watch Disney or pixar on a Friday night! :)

Shodan · 06/12/2010 09:01

Ds1 has been campaigning for a tv in his room for a few years (he's 14, nearly 15) but we still haven't allowed it. However he is allowed his laptop and he can watch DVDs on that. But we haven't ruled it out completely, even though neither of us want one in our room.

However we are lucky enough to have another room which is (slowly) in the process of being done out as a den for him- he has a tv in there and that's also where the Wii and xBox live. He often has friends to stay over and it's nice for them to have somewhere to chill out and talk crap without us pursing our lips in the background. If we didn't have that space then probably yes, we would let him have a tv in his room.

FWIW my sister's two girls have had a tv in their room since they were little and don't seem to be obese/struggling at school. But this is, of course, merely an anecdote and not intended as definite evidence.

SarfEasticated · 06/12/2010 09:04

I don't like TV's in b'rooms, I don't like TV much, "shovelling your head full of sh!t" would describe most of it for me. IMO b'rooms should be a kind of peaceful sanctuary where you sleep and read.

Up to you though OP -

twopeople · 06/12/2010 09:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

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