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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To let my daughter have tv in her bedroom

113 replies

Cumbrian07 · 05/12/2010 00:45

I'm thinking about getting my 10 year old daughter a tv in her bedroom for Christmas. Mainly for watching DVDs when friends cone round or just for chill
/relaxing time. We only have a loungediner and a kitchen downstairs so it would give us more options for different family members to watch what they want on tv. However my MIL is horified by the idea and is making me feel like a terrible mother. She thinks it's the beginning of the end of family life and that she'll end up failing all her exams and become a couch potato and a slob. Is it that damaging to children?

OP posts:

MrsDingDongMerrily · 06/12/2010 09:25

My DCs (6 and 4) have never asked for one, and if they did the answer would be no for a good many years yet as I just don't see any need for it. We have Sky+, I let the DCs watch their choices after tea and watch my stuff after they have gone to bed. If they are staying up late, the telly goes off or changes to grownup choices at 7ish anyway.

We've got one in our room, it only has terrestrial and only gets used in the morning for news and weather or while I'm ironing, we don't sit in bed and watch it.

bubbleymummy · 06/12/2010 09:43

I really think the issue is more how much you let tour children watch tv rather than where the tv is. I think tv is a load of ribbish and DS doesn't watch it during the week but I don't mind him watching the odd DVD in his room. What does more damage? Having a tv in your child's bedroom for an occasional dvd or letting them watch tv shows every day in the living room? I think the latter is much worse.

bubbleymummy · 06/12/2010 09:47

Stupid iPhone. Tour=your. Ribbish= rubbish.

granted · 06/12/2010 10:12

No way would I ever dream of it. I think it's far too much of a temptation. Mine watch quite enough TV as it is - why give them easy access to more?

But statistically, I know we're in a minority.

That always shocks me - who are all these parents who get their little little ones TVs in their bedrooms? No-one I know. But statistics - and this thread - show they are out there.

sleighBELLasringing · 06/12/2010 10:16

Why is this such a big issue?

Both my boys have had tv's in their rooms since they were little. It has never ever caused a problem. No they were not sat up there for hours glued to it and no they don't watch it when they are supposed to be in bed.

Judge me if you must!

My boys have phones, laptops, xbox, wii and i-pod touches. They both still play out, climb trees, ride their bikes, go sledging, build snowmen etc etc etc.

G'wan judge a bit more

Hullygully · 06/12/2010 10:18

I dunno.

Sup to you.

FindingMyMojo · 06/12/2010 10:23

I wouldn't do it - pretty much for the reasons you MIL expressed (I wouldn't have one in my room either). In my extended family most of my relations let their kids have TV's in the bedroom & they are tv addicts, don't play outside & largely do poorly in school - I think there is a link.

Do you not have a laptop she could watch the odd DVD on in her room as and when she needed to? Or as someone else suggested have a TV in your room your DD could watch TV/DVD's on?

justaboutdreamsofsleep · 06/12/2010 10:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FortunateHamster · 06/12/2010 10:55

I generally think it's okay for teens to have TVs in their room. However, I was one of those kids who would stay up until the early hours watching it - and I can't blame my parents. They didn't want it on late at night but I'd turn the light off, use my duvet to block any light getting out the door and then do homework while watching Prisoner Cell Block H anytime between 11pm and 1! By that age, though, I think I had to learn for myself maybe that I needed a bit more sleep and to take more responsibility for getting homework done. I still did fine at GCSEs and A Level.

I'm not sure for younger kids. My son is just a baby and feel it'll just be something else I might change my mind on in the next few years. But at the moment I'm leaning towards waiting until they were 12 or so.

MrsDingDongMerrily · 06/12/2010 11:57

I do think to a large extent it is how you handle it, however I feel we have enough policing with the downstairs telly, Wii, Ipad, computer, DS would play on these all day if I let him and I don't want to add yet another thing that would need to be rationed.

Deliaskis · 06/12/2010 12:35

How about getting a portable TV/DVD player that lives in your room, but can easily be moved to her room for DVDs when friends are over in the circumstances you describe etc.

bubbleymummy · 06/12/2010 14:00

I find it strange that people would allow older children to have a tv in their rooms - I would be LESS inclined to allow my teenager a tv in their room. I would want to know what they are watching and when they are watching it! I wouldn't give a child free access to tv either - only dvds occasionally! :)

Sidge · 06/12/2010 15:33

I'd rather my nearly-a-teenager had a TV and DVD player in her room than a laptop!

Her TV only has an external aerial so only channels 1, 2 3 and 4. No Sky (that's in the lounge). If she had a laptop up there I'd be much more worried about what she could be watching

TottWriter · 06/12/2010 15:39

We had a telly in our room from a young age, but it was never connected to an arial. That was fine. We used to watch films (stored downstairs until we were in our mid teens) on it.

At one point the only telly tuned in was in our mum and stepfather's room. That was really horrible as we all had to sit on their bed as a family if we wanted to watch something. Needless to say we didn't watch much TV growing up.

rivi · 06/12/2010 15:41

lots of people speaking lots of sense. My initial reaction is no no way don't go down that rocky road like so many others and some are fooling themselves HOWEVER, as I learn the older I get everyone is different and as has been said some children would be fine and not stick to their room and it wouldn't be a problem. For me and mine I would say no but not never just if we had more room never but sometimes it would be handy. For that reason I would go down the road of a small tv that can be moved in and out ie around the house to suit needs so totally flexible.

PollyPhonny · 06/12/2010 21:45

I find the idea of parents downstairs watching a film while their young child is upstairs watching a different film quite chilling. No parent wants to watch Disney every Friday night, but why not play a game or something, then watch a film once your child is in bed? But if it's really true that 80 percent of children have bedroom TVs, I am in a minority. Strangely, though, there isn't a single child in either of my children's classes at school who has a TV in their room either. Whoever says it's not largely a class thing is, I fear, mistaken.

Kiwiinkits · 06/12/2010 21:49

SarfEasticated - love your name!

usualsuspect · 06/12/2010 21:51

'Whoever says it's not largely a class thing is, I fear, mistaken'

Meaning what exactly?

orienteerer · 06/12/2010 21:51

DS will not have a TV in his room until he is:
a. At least 18
AND
b. He buys his own

usualsuspect · 06/12/2010 21:56

My teenage ds has a TV,laptop and playstaion on his room [underclass] as do all his rough friends

usualsuspect · 06/12/2010 21:59

typos galore in that post

mumbar · 06/12/2010 22:06

Not read the thread OP but heres what I do/have.

When we moved into my HA flat family donated - well- everything we needed including a TV/ Video combi. A bout a wekk later M & D gave me there old TV and O put the combi in DS room as the only videos we have are childrens. He was just 3 at the time. We would curl up togethr on his bed and atch videos sometimes other than that he hardly watched it. When he was 4 M & D got him the VSmile computer which we had in the lounge but is now in his room, again I go in there to play it with him sometimes, and he can play it without Mummy hanging around when friends come over.
There is no ariel attached so can't watch TV iyswim. (because Ive chosen not to this).

Sometimes he likes to take the laptop into his room and watch a DVD on his bed if he's tired at the weekend. He is getting a portable DVD player for Xmas from my M & D so he can do this if he wished or watch them with friends.

Sorry its long but I wanted to show you how having a TV in a childs room doesn't always segregate you from them but can actually bring you closer, allow you to enter there room/ space and connect. For example many great conversations have arisen from me curling with DS on his bed and watching video. He was greatly amused at the weekend watching an old video he found of me at Brownie camp!

Lynli · 06/12/2010 22:54

My DS has had a TV in his room since he was about 5.

He occassionally watches it before going to sleep, if he does I turn it off at 8.30 and he goes to sleep.

He does not turn it on after this and if he did I would remove it.

It is like most things used sensibly not a problem.

Rollmops · 07/12/2010 07:35

Get your DD a television for her room and then be prepared to help her practice for entry to Xfactor or somesuch imbecile moronic piece of cack.(and breathe...)

Your MIL is right.

usualsuspect · 07/12/2010 07:42

My ds would much rather appear on Kerrang than X factor

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