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Original poster

To let my daughter have tv in her bedroom

113 replies

Cumbrian07 · 05/12/2010 00:45

I'm thinking about getting my 10 year old daughter a tv in her bedroom for Christmas. Mainly for watching DVDs when friends cone round or just for chill
/relaxing time. We only have a loungediner and a kitchen downstairs so it would give us more options for different family members to watch what they want on tv. However my MIL is horified by the idea and is making me feel like a terrible mother. She thinks it's the beginning of the end of family life and that she'll end up failing all her exams and become a couch potato and a slob. Is it that damaging to children?

OP posts:
LittleMoosh · 05/12/2010 09:03

Both my DS have TV & DVD in their rooms. One age 8 and one will be 4 next week. They only ever watch DVD's if they wake up early at weekends and none would watch without our permission first. They would both rather spend time with DH and I rather than on their own watching TV and are energetic, lively, intelligent kids. Don't see the problem with having a TV in bedroom myself

Portofino · 05/12/2010 09:14

My 6 year old dd has one but the aerial is not connected so she can only watch DVDs. She is allowed to watch a movie in bed at the weekend, and will sometimes go up and watch one if the Grand Prix or something is on. She and the girls from next door like to put the Spice Girls on and copy the dancing.

MsKalo · 05/12/2010 09:15

I personally agree with chippingin and think people who attack her for HER opinion are pathetic. The OP wants opinions and thats what she will get here and then she will make up her own mind. Why do some people on here feel the need to attack people for their own opinion - grow up!
I personally do not agree with tv's in rooms but someone here had the suggestion of a tv with built in DVD player and no ariel connection which sounds like a good idea as does the tv in your room idea. And yes, there has been lots of studies about the effect of tv's in bedrooms that have been interesting and I have personally known lots of people who had tv in their rooms and they watched too much or too much of the wrong thing!

KaraStarbuckThrace · 05/12/2010 09:21

I would allow it at 10, but I would NOT connect the TV aerial, and I wouldn't allow her to keep DVDs in the room - I think you still need to exercise control over what she watches and for how long.

KaraStarbuckThrace · 05/12/2010 09:21

I would allow it at 10, but I would NOT connect the TV aerial, and I wouldn't allow her to keep DVDs in the room - I think you still need to exercise control over what she watches and for how long.

PollyPhonny · 05/12/2010 09:27

I wouldn't allow it at 10. I see no reason for it whatsoever. I do see that it's hard when different people want to watch different things - but can't you get a DVD recorder for downstairs, and record stuff which they can then watch later/on another day/when their siblings are doing other things? That's what I do for the children. They also have to learn the art of compromise (aka squabbling) as a result. I'd say no TVs in bedrooms until 16 at the very earliest - preferably 18. Most of my 'principles' are a moveable feast, but I will not budge on bedroom TVs (nor on mobiles for children, while I'm at it).

LisasCat · 05/12/2010 09:29

Personally we are not planning to let DD have one in her room until she can afford to buy one with her own pocket money, which we're hoping will be at least 14. By then she'll probably be a vile teenage girl anyway, if she's got any of my genes, and we won't want to spend any more time in her company than we absolutely have to! (I can't be the only one dreading that time)

Until then all screens (TV/computer/games) will be in communal areas of the house, partly so we know what she's watching/surfing/playing, partly because we think that buying it herself will retain its luxury status, but also because we miss enough of her company during the day while we're at work, and want as much of it as we can have while she's still a delight to be around.

HSMM · 05/12/2010 09:30

My 11 yr old has a TV in her room. She hardly ever watches it. She has a pile of DVDs in her room. If she has a friend over, they usually put the music channel on. She'd rather read a book before going to sleep and would rather spend the evening downstairs with the family.

PollyPhonny · 05/12/2010 09:32

Ah, now you've said that, LisasCat, I may rethink. I see more than enough of my children during the day, so maybe my life would be easier if I could stuff them upstairs with a TV in the evenings. Grin

LaWeaselMys · 05/12/2010 09:35

I don't agree with tvs in rooms and would not allow it.

It think they are terrible for sleep.

But, I say that as someone who was a child and sometimes adult insomniac, so I'm very keen on bedrooms being JUST for sleep.

I don't even take my mobile up to bed with me, it's too distracting to have something to play with if I'm struggling to go to sleep.

usualsuspect · 05/12/2010 09:45

I think its perfectly ok for a 10 year old to have a TV in their bedrooms

WhatsWrongWithYou · 05/12/2010 09:53

DS1 is 15 and still doesn't have one - although he has a screen connected to his xbox. We did think about connecting an ariel to it for Christmas but this is his GHCSE year and it seems ridiculous to give him yet another reason to avoid studying.

Plus his internet access goes off at about 9pm and it's nice to see him crash downstairs and sit with us for a bit.

And I agree that TVs are bad for sleep - am fully aware that this is inconsistent with the existence of said xbox in his room but we moved it there because we didn't want his siblings to be exposed to the games he has which are unsuitable for younger eyes.

Each family has to do what suits them, but I do find tellys in young kids' rooms a bit depressing.

penguin73 · 05/12/2010 10:29

Agree with the people saying you will get mixed opinions - I hate the idea and would rather sit through the things that teenage son wants to watch so we can have that time together in the same room when he is not out/doing hwk etc etc. He also learns a lesson in sharing in that he knows that sometimes I get to decide what we watch and he is happy with that. I also find that he often starts conversations and asks about things that come to mind as we are sat there which I know he wouldn't make the effort to leave his room and wander downstairs to say otherwise. So a no for me but you will find lots of people that say yes, so personal choice really!

GiddyPickle · 05/12/2010 10:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RumourOfAHurricane · 05/12/2010 10:35

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fluffles · 05/12/2010 10:45

i don't like tvs in bedrooms really, but i do think that when the children get to secondary age then most families need two tvs in the house.
so for a lot of people the second tv has to go in somebodies bedroom, i'd be tempted to make it the parents bedroom but then accept that kids can use it sometimes for watching tv with friends etc.

we have tvs in our living room and our kitchen-diner which works for us.

ApocalypseCheeseToastie · 05/12/2010 10:47

Dd has a lovely lcd jobby in her room, very rarely watches it tho, she's not one for screen time tbh. Will occasionally watch a dvd if she's desperate, I on the other hand am best friends with sky plus Xmas Wink

bubbleymummy · 05/12/2010 11:04

Ds1 age 4 has one in his room but, like others, it has no aerial and he can only watch DVDs. He doesn't watch tv during the week and the DVD is a special Friday/Saturday night treat (sometimes with popcorn).:) I don't think it is the tv in the room idea that is necessarily the problem, it is how you decide to monitor it as parents. I wouldn't feel comfortable with a child having access to all tv channels in their own rooms tbh.

classydiva · 05/12/2010 11:12

My chldrend of 22 and 17 have had TV's in their room since they were around 4.

glastocat · 05/12/2010 11:18

I hate TVs in bedrooms. My kid spends two weeks at granny's house every summmer and he gets to see a movie in bed every night, its an enormous treat for him. But he won't be getting a TV in his room for at least a few more years ( he's nine). If he wakes up early he reads. '

mugggletoeandwine · 05/12/2010 11:18

I was always very against this, before I had a child though obv.
DD is 9 and doesn't have one, but I will get her one when/if she really wants one.
We live in a small 2 up 2 down house and she can't relax with friends and watch TV as I'm here.
I will check what she has on, and she won't be able to sneakily watch at night as I'm in the next room.
It will also be limited so we still do spend some time together, but I see no problem in having one to use sometimes.

woolymindy · 05/12/2010 11:23

I wouldn't do it

Baileysismyfriend · 05/12/2010 11:27

I am not keen on TVs in the bedroom, our DD is 12 and doesn't have one and it will stay like that for a few more years.

taintedsnow · 05/12/2010 11:29

I don't like the idea of TVs in children's bedrooms, but my opinion is based mainly on the knowledge that my lazy-ass cousin has had one in her five-year-old DD's room for as long I can remember. She is the typical uses-the-TV-as-a-babysitter-so-she-doesn't-have-to-parent-her-child type mum. I'm not suggesting for a moment that's who you are OP, but that has certainly clouded my opinion.

Personally, if you're adament you're going to do this, I would wait until your DD is fully settled into the homework routine of secondary school (so year 8 at the earliest) and even then don't connect the aerial, just get her a cheap DVD player so that's all she can use it for. Also I wouldn't allow her to keep DVDs in her room, that way she has to come to you and ask to use the TV.

Tbh though, minus the attitude, I think your MIL is actually on the right track.

mumofloads · 05/12/2010 11:29

My ds 10 has a tv but it's not connected to the ariel so he can only watch dvds. He hardly ever uses it but as he has asked for the phineus and ferb xmas special I'm glad it's there.