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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Not sure why it rankles

147 replies

ARepleteHmmSkiNun · 01/12/2010 23:11

Hello I changed my name as I only post on other boards. Not that I post very often anyway. I don't generally feel the need to comment or ask advice but I find myself thinking about something too much in my opinion. I don't really know why and it annoys me.
Anyway I went to a neighbour's house to ask them something. They tend to keep themselves to themselves but are ok. I spent about 20 minutes there discussing this and that, questions, answers, bit of humour all the normal stuff. Anyway the husband mentioned something about cricket. I don't know anything about cricket really and told an old joke about Pakistan and the world cup, which was actually a joke about football which I know just as little about. Then her husband told some joke about flying carpets exploding which I must admit I don't quite remember. Anyway she gave her husband one of those looks (often given by those who are a bit socially insecure to their significant other when actually directing their comments at the other person in the room but looking for support and agreement from their partner - do you know what I mean?) and said that Peter (their son of about 13) would say that what her husband said was racist and that you can learn from young people you know. The husband and I continued the conversation without reference to her point as I, and perhaps him, felt a little embarrassed, because it quite obviously begged the question from me as to why it was racist.

So the point being, imo she was being particularly English and indirect/dishonest and accusing me of being racist. I certainly am not. I think she is the type of person who is very quick to find offence on other people's behalf when none exists, cetainly not detectable by the sort of person she assumes she is "protecting"
I do dislike dishonesty, hypocrisy and the type of naive liberalism (the type of liberalism which is derived from a general social theory of being "nice" but actually never rigorously looks at the consequences of its actions) which seems common nowadays.
Am I reading too much into this? I don't know why it rankles. Perhaps I shouldn't find it offensive to be called a racist by a person who is too stupid to realise she is racist, but perhaps it is better to let such things go in a casual social encounter with one's neighbours. Perhaps it rankles because I should have brought her up on it and asked her why she thought that but I only popped round to ask something and didn't want to get drawn into a long political/sociological discussion.

OP posts:
Hullygully · 02/12/2010 12:09

It is refreshing to read a bit of sense for once on MN, Replete. I couldn't agree with you more. They are all like the loony mafia.

Hullygully · 02/12/2010 12:10

In my country we say, "If your socks don't match, don't hitch your trousers up."

MIFLAW · 02/12/2010 12:13

"How can you live with yourself miflaw et al, going round calling people things like stupid and mad and insane? Would you think it right if someone listened to what you had to say and then called you a rapist and Marxist stooge with unresolved personal issues that you project upon the world as you are too stupid to understand a simple book like 1984?"

No - because, unlike calling you stupid, mad and insane, there is no evidence that I am a rapist, a Marxist, or that I was too stupid to understand 1984 (not a book, to be honest, that you show any signs of having read, apart from maybe the back cover on a rainy day in Cancer Research.)

"I have just realised that of the half a million members of mumsnet your vile, hateful, lunatic and oppressive views based on blind ignorance and hate probably only account for 0.0001% of the population"

If I was alone (and bear in mind no one at all on this thread agrees with you) and represented
0.0001% then that would make a million users.

What does Hazlitt's essay have to say about arithmetic?

LaWeaselMys · 02/12/2010 12:15

Are you a libertarian?

In that case I think you should be worrying about devolution of power to individuals before you worry about jokes.

Just a thought.

How would you mean freedom of thought and action for all when others actions impinge on your freedom? Your freedom to tell racist jokes impinges on your neighbours freedom to live in a society free of hate based on race, I'm sure you realise.

LaWeaselMys · 02/12/2010 12:17

How would you enact, sorry typo there.

whoknowswhatthefutureholds · 02/12/2010 12:18

'a bit of sense' lol

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 02/12/2010 12:20

Teehee.

Don't call me a lunatic, you lunatic!

Haven't seen this much brain-smear since that nice American lady came onto the feminist section to tell us we all hated women and were pillowed laphounds from hell. :o

Hullygully · 02/12/2010 12:20

"A stitch in time saves nine."

That is a proverb we borrowed from a different country.

ElephantsAndMiasmas · 02/12/2010 12:20

also at the poor neighbour's eye-movements being oppressive/PC gone mad.

BaronessBomburst · 02/12/2010 12:29

Blimey. Talk about over thinking things.

BeerTricksPotter · 02/12/2010 12:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lydwatt · 02/12/2010 12:38

please, OP, don't flounce off...this is such fun Xmas Grin

LaWeaselMys · 02/12/2010 12:43

If she is googling libertarian and personal rights clashes OP will be gone a long time.

Hint: if you solve that one there will be some top academics looking to pick your brains.

nevercansaygoodbye · 02/12/2010 12:48

OP: whatever about your puerile joke, maybe just maybe your neighbour doesn't give a toss about you and was pulling her husband up on his racist joke because she doesn't really care if you are racist or not because she doesn't have to live with you and now knows to avoid you in future

MIFLAW · 02/12/2010 13:02

BeerTricks

Excellent paragraphing.

Well done.

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 02/12/2010 13:05

I love the dripfeeding from the OP re her native country - assuming that we have now got the point that it is Gambia, are we now to assume that this indicates the skin-colour of the OP to be non-white? And that that would somehow remove any stigma of racism from her, despite the interesting eye movements and completely unobvious subtext of her neighbour (female)?

Or am I reading too much into this and, in the process, rendering myself open to being accused of racism as well?

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 02/12/2010 13:06

ACtually, if the OP is of non-white skin colour, I can see exactly why the neighbour's wife would be desperately trying to shut her husband up on the iffy joke front.

Ormirian · 02/12/2010 13:09

"Am I reading too much into this"

Blimey! Yes I should think so.

MissPopOff · 02/12/2010 13:17

OP - Weed or E's??

From "Was This Racist" to "The White Man Cometh".....

Go to a more appropriate forum to share your drivel.

LoopyLoops · 02/12/2010 13:20

oooh, a libertarian, that makes sense. The only libertarian I know likens himself to a Nazi and feels he should be beyond reproach for any outrageous racist bullshit he comes out with. Hmm

thumbplumpuddingwitch · 02/12/2010 13:23

Orm - Why the blimey?

mayorquimby · 02/12/2010 13:29

So you and your neighbour were swapping racist gags and you're pissed off because while the woman didn't feel she was in a position to tell you (someone she doesn't know) to shut up and stop being racist she did feel comfortable telling her husband to stop being a racist twat.

Maybe next time don't start cracking racist gags in front of strangers if them not approving and feeling uncomfortable rankles you.

ISNT · 02/12/2010 13:57

fantastic Grin

ARepleteHmmSkiNun · 02/12/2010 14:12

Mad as a box of frogs the lot of you
Emmeline Pankhurst would be sorely disappointed.
Muah
ARepleteHmmSkiNun

OP posts:
tethersjinglebellend · 02/12/2010 14:19

Emmeline Pankhurst was a racist?

Blimey. Did she do stand-up?

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