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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am so angry!

523 replies

KateEllis · 01/12/2010 16:36

At the end of September my DD (age 7) was cast as Cinderella in the school panto. The school takes these things VERY seriously so they have had lots of after school sessions etc. I was very pleased for my daughter because she was so excited (please note I did not care about her having a lead role, I just want her to be happy). She has had loads of lines to learn but has been brilliant and learnt them all, on top of learning two solo songs and 4 other songs and attended every after school rehersal. I had also made one of her costumes and bought another. The panto was due to be next friday, then the falling monday and tuesday.

However today this happened. I was waiting in the yard to collect her and her younger sister, when she came out of school I could see it looked like she was on the verge of tears, I asked her what was wrong and she said 'I'm not Cinderella anymore'.
At first my initial thought was, as she was ill yesterday mybe somebody covered for her and she was a bit confused. I asked this but she insisted the part had been given to another little girl.
Her teacher was in the yard so I went over to speak to her.
I just said dd is a bit upset because she thinks she is no longer playing cinderella.
Her teacher said "That's right she isn't"
I asked why and she said
"Well she was off yesterday, and I expect people who are given big parts to show a commitment. It is also to show her that good attendance is a must"
Yesterday was the first day my daughter has had off this year!!!!!!
She also said she has given another girl the part and now this little girl has to learn everything by next friday which just seems impossible for a 7 yo, and as I said the school will expect this girl to learn all the lines as they take drama productions extremely seriously.

My daughter is so upset and I am so angry, up until today her teacher and others have been coming up to me in the yard and saying how great she is doing now they have completely devastated her after all the effort she has put in. She now has no part at all, as its a whole school production all parts are taken up.

I am so angry and upset for my poor daughter who hasn't stopped crying

OP posts:

DandyLioness · 02/12/2010 13:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Rhinestone · 02/12/2010 13:47

Good luck and give them no mercy. Looking forward to the update and hopefully a re-instated Cinders.

homeboys · 02/12/2010 14:05

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

teej · 02/12/2010 14:08

Mmmm am I also smelling eau de famously dramatic south london private school? Trying to detect whether it is the single-sex or co-ed fragrance...

All the best for reinstating the Cinders 1!

sobloodystupid · 02/12/2010 14:15

Please keep us posted. Feel so sorry for your little one

WomanOfAbjectMystery · 02/12/2010 14:17

Marking my place.

What a horrid woman. How dare they do that to a child.

GetOrfMoiLand · 02/12/2010 14:18

Good god alive.

What a ridiculous school and what a bunch of incompetent fools as teachers.

I have always supsected that private schools house inept teachers who couldn't hack it in the real world.

Good luck this afternoon. I repeat what another poster said - you are doing a brilliant thing in sticking up for your daughter in this.

theladylovescupcakes · 02/12/2010 14:21

marking my place too. have read the entire thread and can't believe they'd treat a child so badly.

MummyMyfanwy · 02/12/2010 14:24

Good God!! I am shocked. I would be seething.

There is something very odd about all this. Has the new cinders got rich parents - making a generous donation to the school????

Good luck at your meeting. If they do not reinstate your daughter I think I would be inclined to go to the local press with this and humiliate the school for their stupendous policy on this.

Hope you little girl is bearing up. Poor love.

Lydwatt · 02/12/2010 14:28

and my place!

Feelingsensitive · 02/12/2010 14:29

YANBU. I would make an appointment with the teacher first to explain how upset you are given the effort you have gone to. I would then go and see the head.

Rhinestone · 02/12/2010 14:29

Just thinking ahead - if the worst happens and your lovely DD is not reinstated by the Evil Bitches then how about a MN picket of the eventual performance? Complete with placards and loud hailers!

iliketrees · 02/12/2010 14:29

well somebody's Xmas should be ruined and that's the ruddy awful teacher. what an utter disgrace. what other crazy crap goes on there I wonder.

take her out, find nice state school for primary where pastoral care is key and shop around for good private secondary if you still think it's important.

NigellaTufnel · 02/12/2010 14:35

Marking my place too.

Go OP Go!

SnowieBear · 02/12/2010 14:42

Just wanted to wish you good luck and fortitude for the meeting with the Head this afternoon, KateEllis. I'm livid on your behalf!

AnyoneforTurps · 02/12/2010 14:45

Don't forget the medical angle - as a doctor, you are concerned to hear that they are encouraging children with infectious illness to attend classes by penalising if they don't. You are worried that this puts your own children at risk. You assume that they have had specialist advice as they wouldn't just disregard the HPA, would they? They are familiar with the HPA guidelines, aren't they? etc etc

Good luck.

strandedatseasonsgreetings · 02/12/2010 14:46

Good luck with the meeting, it sounds like you and your dh will give it all you've got.

ginnybag · 02/12/2010 15:42

Good luck!

KangarooCaught · 02/12/2010 16:04

The HT & the drama teacher are deffo the ugly sisters in all this.

singarainbow · 02/12/2010 16:17

This is so wrong, on so many levels...she is 7! She cannot be punished for a decision (rightly) made by her parents. They are nothing but bullies...

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

LatteLady · 02/12/2010 16:20

I have to admit as a Chair of Govs, I would not be happy with the manner in which this has been dealt.

I missed being in the school play when I was 10 due to being sick, 42 years later I am still upset that I did not make the performance.

I am so sorry that your daughter has been treated in this way and hope that you are able to make the Head and teacher understand that they have made a foolish decision which should be revised.

secretsquirrel1 · 02/12/2010 16:26

Any news?

mathanxiety · 02/12/2010 16:32

Colditz is so right here though. Even in the event of your DD even being partially reinstated and sharing the role with the other girl (because I doubt they will budge further than this compromise), how do you feel about sending your child back into such a poisoned atmosphere even for the rest of the year, let alone the rest of her primary years?

If the school is the sort of school it appears to be, she will never again receive any recognition, any awards, any roles in plays or sports. Why set her up for another few years of playing supporting cast to the children of those who are not ashamed to make their money talk?

TandB · 02/12/2010 16:36

I have a nasty feeling that KateEllis will be coming back and telling us that the school has offered some crap "compromise" like her DD be the understudy to the new Cinderella, or help with her costume or similar.

glitzy · 02/12/2010 16:39

Are you back yet?

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