to want to stop sending christmas presents to my step-sisters children, as she takes the labels off

[NappyShedSal]

My step sister tells her children that all christmas presents come from Father Christmas. So she takes off any labels that are attached to the presents so that the children don't know they have come from someone else. She lives abroad so I have to post the presents, otherwise I'd hand them to the children themselves. Now, I know that it's her family's tradition. But a little bit of me feels like not bothering to get nice presents as the children don't know that I've gone to the effort.

we don't do letters, just ring to say thank you.

lowrib regardless of what you think of santa, these children have a faith in him. it's not up to you to decide when that faith should be ripped up.

Actually the whole "Coca Cola invented the red and white Santa" thing is a fallacy. Thank you QI :o

the truth about Santa!

lowrib I don't think getting presents from relatives undermines Santa if it's what you've done from the off - it's what we do. But if the OP writes on the gifts or whatever this year then the children are going to be confused on Christmas morning and have a lot of questions - why haven't my other aunts/uncles whoever got me anything? If mum and dad have made this up is Santa real? Etc. Not something I would want to be responsible for on Christmas morning.

I'm not imposing my ideas on anyone. I'm just pointing out why I think it's a bad idea.

If you actually read my posts you'll see I suggested the OP went along with the SS's tradition, and sent an additional present at another time.

I'm amazed you're all getting your knickers in such a twist.

You did realise Santa wasn't real didn't you

my ds1 got a t-shirt from dp's mother one christmas when he was tiny. It was his favourite t-shirt for years, he called it his Nana Top and wore it til it wouldn't fit over his head anymore an then very ungraciously handed it down to his little brother and still calls it 'my Nana Top'. I don't think he would have looked at it twice if Santa had given it amidst all the other tat... it was the fact that his Nana that bought it for him that made it so special.

My kids can tell you who bought them every single item they own whether it be clothes, toys or books and refer to the givers often... it makes them feel special to know they have two grandmothers who hunt out clothes and toys they'd like and that other friends and relatives think about them enough to send gifts.

In this house Santa brings one present and the stocking each and they are aware that we or other relatives pick the rest and they thank the giver and aknowedge the thought behind the gift.

lowrib
Talk about needing some Xmas spirit, if they visit you btw, Xmas past is the fat guy and Xmas future is the skinny one. :o

I think you need to read this, it should help you understand....

Dear Virginia

oops meant Xmas PRESENT is the fat guy!

I don't think I have rubbished anyone else's traditions - if it has come over that way, then I apologise. But reading back over the thread, I cannot find anywhere where I have rubbished anyone else's tradition.

In fact, I feel that I have been rubbished for not agreeing that all presents should come from Santa. Several posters have asserted quite forcefully that the only reason someone would want the recipient to know who a present was from is because the donor wants all the credit, and that this makes them materialistic and shallow - and it has been very clearly inferred that anyone like this is inferior to the people whose children only get presents from santa.

I have said several times that, for me, it is not about the credit, only to have other posters come on very quickly to say that they think it absolutely is about the credit, in their opinion.

That makes me feel as if I am being accused of lying when I say that it's not about the credit for me.

Also meant to say that if the OP does decide to put her name on the gift she should at least give SIL a heads-up in advance so she can prepare something semi-believable to say to the kids on Christmas morning about why Santa doesn't bring all the gifts anymore rather than having to make something up on the spot xmas morning.

You keep saying that you are being accused of lying, yet no one has done that!

Perhaps the lady doth protest too much?

Seriously though, it seems that you are upset that some people disagree with you. But that is the risk you take if you post on a public forum, you are not going to get lovely fluffy "yes you are right, the rest of the world is wrong" answers all the time! It isnt that you dont agree with her tradition but that you seemed in the OP to be either threatening to not send gifts to the children, or finding someway that they would know it was from you thereby undermining their parents and probably really upsetting the kids as they would be very confused.

It isnt for you to decide. Either send nothing, or accept what they do, I dont see that you can do anything else tbh.

SDTG - do you keep in touch with the children at other times of year because if you do why does one present matter so much to your relationship with them?

Ha ha, I'll tell my partner you think I'm scrooge - although I'll probably won't live it down

I love Christmas. We have a few decorations up already and have been listening to carols today as it's December 1st. We would have more but DP says I should wait

The advent calendars are coming out later.

DS will be getting lots of presents from Santa - just not the ones which other people give him.

You can have a lovely Christmas without all the presents coming from Santa. It is actually possible! (And lots of fun)

" holding on to some random tradition (again - it's not a religion you know!) at the expense of family ties seems ridiculous to me."

That's where we differ. Do you seriously think that our family ties are not as strong because when the children are small, they believe all the presents come from Santa?
So in France, Germany etc... family units are looser than in the UK?

lowrib I totally agree, infact in this house santa doesnt give gifts at all! He delivers them for people who want to give gifts to each other, but only to those who deserve them. He keeps the ones that naughty children dont deserve and gives them to the good ones!

It wasnt always like that btw, Just since the younger ones over heard the older ones talking (thanks guys!)! When DS1 and DD1 were little they had one gift each from him.

But just because Santa is a glorified delivery man in our house doesnt mean that I think everyone else should do the same!

Of course lowrib - I will be having a fab Christmas too with some pressies from family/friends and stocking and main pressie from Santa. But I don't expect everyone else to do it my way and I wouldn't try my best to rumble them if they did it differently.
Just out of interest - people who do it the all pressies from Santa way. Do you have to wrap pressies for other kids in secret? Cos I was wrapping pressies for DD's cousin the other day in front of DD and it would have been a dead giveaway if she thought all kids pressies came from Santa!

Mummytoatribe - whenever I have said that, for me, it is not about getting credit for the gift, I have almost immediately been contradicted by someone saying that they believe it is all about the credit.

Call me foolish if you will, but this does not sound like they believe me, which to me says they think I am lying.

Also I am not the OP, so your main paragraph should be addressed to the OP, not to me - in fact at 10.27 I said:
"....I do agree with your last point, notso. Even though I don't agree with all presents coming from santa, there's no way I'd refuse to send a present, and penalise a child for the parents' decision...."

Friends of ours did this with their kids. One year one of their uncles bought the eldest a beautiful dolls house with lots of furniture etc. He spent a packet and put a lot of thought into it. The label was taken off and replaced with "from Rudolph" . On Christmas morning the eldest put her hands on her hips and sternly said "uncle X, you never buy me a present!". He flipped. Very bad idea IMHO. I'm not one for perpetuating the santa myth. Fine for when they are tots but I think it's important kids know who to thank and to know that their family has thought about them. Santa brings a stocking pillowcase and everything else is from family. Not really sure what your remedy is though.

Yes, all wrapping is done in secret and shopping for wrapping paper is done in secret, and it is stored out of sight!

I was buying wrapping paper the other day and I said to DD "I wonder what wrapping paper Santa will use" and she said she wants him to use the same as me! So she's made it nice and easy for me. All the pressies we've got her are wrapped and in full view except the Santa one and the stuff for her stocking.

SDTG I apologise, I see now that you werent the OP, I just assumed from the tone of your posts, so sorry about that.

All the presents I've wrapped just have the recipients name and a kiss on them (more so I can remember what is what). If parents want to put Santa on it then that's fine. Equally if they want to put my name on it or leave it as it is. Does it really matter so long as the child gets the gift?

Totally agree Reaper. This year we will be in the UK for Christmas so I think we will just follow IL's traditions. When in Rome... Plus my kids are small (4 and 2.5) so probably will not think about it too much.

Mine are 3 and 10 months so I can get away with anything really. Even managed to buy a few gifts while the 3 year old was distracted looking at stuff in the shops!