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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to kill my DH

174 replies

kittycat37 · 29/11/2010 21:11

I am Angry Angry Angry

Today I used DH's car.

I was pulled over by the police and told that the car had showed up as uninsured.

Totally Shock I stammered that it definitely was insured, must be some mistake etc etc

No, it WASN'T FUCKING INSURED. DH had cancelled premium 10 days ago, was wanting to find a better deal, did not tell me, FUCKING FORGOT

The car was seized, I was issued with 6 points - MY LICENSE HAS ALWAYS BEEN CLEAN FOR THE LAST 12 YEARS SINCE I BEGAN DRIVING. We have a whopping fine we can't afford.

Worst of all I'm devasted that this might come up in future job interviews and affect my chances. Let alone the horrific thought of what might have happened had there been an accident.

He's at work now. Keeps texting 'sorry'.

I don't think I can forgive him. I'm absolutely completely furious. Dont' tell me IABU because I know I'm not. I wish I'd never married him. TWAT.

OP posts:
LilRedWG · 29/11/2010 21:35

I'm sure that an on the spot fine and points will not affect your CRB.

Your DH is a moron and should be made to suffer!

altinkum · 29/11/2010 21:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

silverfrog · 29/11/2010 21:37

agree with MonkeySee - I know our cars are insured, as I saw the renewal policy, and opened the letter confirming we had renewed.

But I have not once checked with dh that he has not since cancelled that policy - why would I? I would expect him to discuss such a thing with me, especially since it directly affects me.

Kittycat, I wonder whether there is anything at all that can be done about this. Whether a sworn statement form your dh wouold help. BUt then I suppose that doesn't prove you didn't know (not doubting you, but looking at it from police perspective etc)

Jeez, what a fuck up.

Original poster
kittycat37 · 29/11/2010 21:37

altinkum - as I said you're right and that's why I got the points etc

But the point is as Monkey points out, one doesn't assume that one's partner would cancel the policy without saying anything or without putting a new one in place.

That's why I can't understand why he did and why I'm so livid.

OP posts:
Truckulent · 29/11/2010 21:38

Silverfrog do you use one of the cars all the time? Just a warning if you're a named driver but actually the main user they may not pay out. It's called fronting

silverfrog · 29/11/2010 21:41

tht's interesting, truckulent. Will check that with dh (he's in insurance Grin)

Insurance company knows I am main user of car, but it is most definitely in dh's name.

runmeragged · 29/11/2010 21:41

Your DH was a total twat. I would be absolutely furious.

However, this sort of twattishness is relatively common and my DH is prone to doing idiotic things like this. I insure my car and DH's car online so I know that both cars are insured and DH doesn't have to be involved.

altinkum · 29/11/2010 21:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

newwave · 29/11/2010 21:46

Had he been driving it without insurance or had it been on a drive ?

Jumpty · 29/11/2010 21:46

Kittycat37 I can understand why you're angry and it's totally unreasonable for anyone to expect you to check each day that your DH has not cancelled the insurance but you're probably onto something in suspecting he's not doing too well right now. Sounds like he's under a lot of stress (tears etc). Maybe a heart to heart about what's going on?

silverfrog · 29/11/2010 21:49

surely fronting would be if we declared dh as the main driver for my car?

but, car is in dh's name (he bought it, after all!), and we are both insured for it, with me as main driver.

that's not fronting, or am I mis-understanding?

AphraBen · 29/11/2010 21:49

You said he is grey and exhausted and tearful - can you get him to the doctor? It just sounds like there's something going on that needs sorting.

ChippingIn · 29/11/2010 21:51

Kitty - do you have any insurance in your name (on another car)?

Oh and of course you shouldn't have to check everytime you drive the car if you DH has suddenly taken it into his head to be a fucking moron and cancel the insurance!

Altinkum - I know you are having a tough time of it right now :( but really, that was uncalled for.

borderslass · 29/11/2010 21:52

*but, car is in dh's name (he bought it, after all!), and we are both insured for it, with me as main driver.

that's not fronting, or am I mis-understanding?*

fronting is when someone else is declared as main driver but your main driver very common on DC's policies.

altinkum · 29/11/2010 21:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
kittycat37 · 29/11/2010 21:52

It's fine altinkum - I very rarly use DH's car - only did so today at his suggestion as he was taking DCs out in other ( with car seats). He said 'you should take my car because of the tube strike'.

Err....right......

Jumpty - I'm torn between attempting a heart to heart or not doing so.

I think he is not himself.

On the other hand I don't want him to think I'm ok about what happened today.

I just don't understand him at the moment.

He's kind of manic. He took on far too much work a few months ago and he's constantly worrying about money. But he does random things like buying really expensive DVDs for DD1 that she's too young to even watch.

I just don't know what to think about it really.

OP posts:
bumpsnowjustplump · 29/11/2010 21:53

I thought fronting was just for finance... I dont think it applies to insurance though.

ENormaSnob · 29/11/2010 21:54

Kill him.

ChippingIn · 29/11/2010 21:55

Kitty - please make him see a Doctor - tomorrow if possible. I know someone who had similar symptoms and is only here now because his wife made him get in the car and she drove him to the Dr's there and then.

ENormaSnob · 29/11/2010 21:55

Sorry x posts.

Didn't mean to be insensitive.

Truckulent · 29/11/2010 21:55

Fronting is if the car is insured in your DHs name (for example) as the main driver,to keep the price down, but you or your DS/DD are named drivers but actually are the main driver.

silverfrog · 29/11/2010 21:55

yes, that's my understanding too, borderslass.

frontng usually used to get cheaper insurance.

but just interested as posters have mentioned that they think what we do may be fronting: fact is, car is dh's, policy is dh's, I am named driver, but down as main driver for my car (since I am the one who dries it day to day)

it isn't fronting just because the policy is in dh's name, and I am named driver.

the question of who is named as main driver also comes into it.

Original poster
kittycat37 · 29/11/2010 21:56

ChippingIn - would having insurance in my name on another car make a difference?

It's only 3rd party theft etc - not comprehensive which I think would have made it ok today and would have meant I was covered even in DH's car.

OP posts:
bumpsnowjustplump · 29/11/2010 21:57

If it doesn't go to court then I dont think it will show on advanced CBR check (although I am not 100% sure) I think the insurance bit on there is for fraud. However i think that someone with more experiance and knowledge may know the facts better...

borderslass · 29/11/2010 21:59

if your insured I'm sure your covered at least that's the impression I've got when watching all the police documentary programmes on tv