for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

[CareeringAlong]

Name change...

Following from the threads about life at home when you don't do voluntary of paid work, although your children are of school-age, I was wondering if anyone else who does work can't help feeling a tad superior? Oh yes, I know I'll be flamed for this, but there it is.

These housewives seem to do all the things that working mothers do (cooking, cleaning, planning etc, etc, etc) but don't have any purpose outside of this. They seem to think that doing the supermarket shopping is a reasonable replacement for a 'real' career. I can't help but feel prejudiced against them.

I'm currently a SAHM as DD is pre-school, but will do paid (and voluntary) work as soon as she's in school. I'm looking forward to building-up my career again and working for the family.

Oh, and before anyone jumps on this, I've always cooked decent-quality meals from scratch, even when I worked v. long hours; my dogs are walked in the early hours; and my house is always clean and tidy. I argue that ironing is for losers, however!

OK. Hard hat on!

Sorry, I don't understand.

DS is now sixteen. I stopped work until he started school.

DD is starting school next year. I will return to work when she's at school.

I'm a father with 2 DCs and my wife is a SAHM.

I know that, during school holidays or if my DCs are sick, my DCs will be looked after by the best person possible with no issues. I know that my wife will take the children to school and be there to pick them up, take them home, help them with homework and generally be there for them before I get home from work - and I know that my DCs know that and appreciate it.

I can concentrate on working and earning the money that we share as a family to enable us to retain our lifestyle without the additional complications of having to negotiate time off during holidays (when everyone else wants time off) or when the children are sick. We both have jobs - the difference is that I get paid for mine and my wife doesn't - but I know from the days I spend at home that going to work is easier.

I love my job, but I also love my family and my job is just a means to an end to provide for the family - if I had the means, I wouldn't work.

I love the fact that I can come home from work, help make some dinner and clear it up but know that the rest of the evening can be enjoyed being together without having to do the housework, etc. and it means that weekends are more free.

My situation won't be for everybody but it works for us.

thing is tho, why feel smug.

are we not all full time mums once we have had a child?? I mean, none of mine came with off switches so I could have a break from being mum for a while (altho that would be a wonderful addition to the anatomy ).

you too are (will still be) a full time mum, who also does whatever job you do, (or will do).

nothin to feel smug about, seriously.

anyway, isn;t smugness a sin?? you are aware you will now go straight to hell for this aren;t you!!

:o

Op. I am the poster who said I was proud to be a full-time mum and a housewife on the other thread.

I am surprised that you feel the need to be smug about your situation. I would not trade places with you for all the tea in China.

I have a career to go back to if I wish but raising my own children and creating a good home environment for them was more important to me. I do not judge you for your decision to work.

I was under the impression that woman fought hard so that we have the CHOICE to have a career or stay at home.

I wonder how many SAH dads there are of school-age children, compared with the number of mothers.

Haven't read the thread, 'cos I can't be arsed.

My only comment would be that you should really stop feeling so smug - it has a very good habit of kicking you up the arse when you're not looking.

What was your motivation for posting this?

You clearly think you are better than people who don't work once their kids are at school. Why? Give an example.

Oh belt up, OP.

Why does the op feel the need to be smug and feel superior to anyone else? You've assigned yourself instant loser status.

Why on earth are you better than anyone else, Careeringalong, because you work, cook meals from scratch (whoop de doo)?

You're certainly doing a great job - well done - but that doesn't make you better than anyone else, working in a paid job or not.

Silly mare.

mrmister,
How lovely for you.
"the evening can be enjoyed being together without having to do the housework, etc. and it means that weekends are more free."....for you I take it?

Working women still do all that crap when they return home from work too.

Thinks the OP is a wuss for name-changing :p

"Women fought hard for the right to stay at home"? Did they? The right to stay at home only comes about if someone else is there to fund your choice - through his (usually) paid employment.

No purpose outside of housework?

I have purpose. The purpose of drinking coffee/eating cake with friends. The purpose of idling the days away shopping. The purpose of not havong to chuck a sicky cos I don't need to.

OP is jealous. Get a husband with better pay.

Usually in the wrong place ie it's usually a he, iykwim

You really don't seem like you have anything to be smug about at all.

You are actually a SAHM darling

her DH is probably pokng his female colleagues on Facebook.

In which case she doesn't need to "find herself a husband with better pay", does she?

Sorry was that aimed at me, Maisie? In the case of what?

I went back to work when dd1 was 14 weeks old. I've worked since I was 17.
I'm a qualified professional just in case that matters,

I wish dearly I could be a stay at home mum.

Why does it matter in all honesty what other people do?

So your incredibly delighted with your life choices, frankly any person who walks around asking others 'what do you do all day long?' is a twat.

I see the sisterhood is as strong as ever then

This crap really gets on my norks. Do we really have to resort to feeling smug and superior over other peoples life style choices. I couldn't give a monkeys nuts what other people are doing as it has no impact on my life. I been a WOHM and a SAHM and they had there benefits and downsides according to the stage we were in at the time. Each to their own.

@scurryfunge

Working women still do all that crap when they return home from work too.

I know they do - and as far as I'm concerned, if both parents are away from the home for the same time, e.g. they both work, or one works and one volunteers somewhere, or one works and the other looks after an elderly relative, etc. then they should share the burden of looking after the house and doing the day-to-day chores - it shouldn't matter that one partner earns more than the other so has a lower household burden.

Don't get me wrong, things still need doing around our house in the evening and at weekends and I help with those - but there'd be a whole lot more to do had my wife not done what she had done during the week.

I've not read all 8 pages of replies, just wanted to post and say that I was reminded of something Angelina Jolie said in an interview once:

"My mother did not work outside of the home, but she was the hardest working woman I have ever known."

Beautifully put Angelina...

Eh? "Find a husband with better pay"? Ugh. Have some self-respect.

Incidentally, DH earns plenty. My choice to work isn't entirely about money.

If she is a SAHM at the moment (as Grape pointed out) then she doesn't need to find herself a better paid husband as you suggest, does she?

Why name change if you think you are so right op???

Although quite why anyone would purposely choose a husband based on their earning power is beyond me.