for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

[CareeringAlong]

Name change...

Following from the threads about life at home when you don't do voluntary of paid work, although your children are of school-age, I was wondering if anyone else who does work can't help feeling a tad superior? Oh yes, I know I'll be flamed for this, but there it is.

These housewives seem to do all the things that working mothers do (cooking, cleaning, planning etc, etc, etc) but don't have any purpose outside of this. They seem to think that doing the supermarket shopping is a reasonable replacement for a 'real' career. I can't help but feel prejudiced against them.

I'm currently a SAHM as DD is pre-school, but will do paid (and voluntary) work as soon as she's in school. I'm looking forward to building-up my career again and working for the family.

Oh, and before anyone jumps on this, I've always cooked decent-quality meals from scratch, even when I worked v. long hours; my dogs are walked in the early hours; and my house is always clean and tidy. I argue that ironing is for losers, however!

OK. Hard hat on!

I don't feel smug. I feel as if I have survived 13 years under direct fire. I feel frazzled, exhausted, dishraggy. But as we have pulled through in one piece I am quite pleased. Actually quite proud of myself. But would I have chosen this path? No. Yes, I'd have worked. Yes, I'd have had my children. But I'd have also had enough money throughout to pay someone to take some of the burden off me - someone else to clean, decorate the house, perhaps pick the DC up from school, do the ironing.

As it is I am still working, enjoying it, earning enough money to ensure we are comfortable, and I have 3 happy healthy DC. Why should I not be proud? That isn't the same as smug. No-one else is going to pat me on the back so I'm doing it!

No, OP, I don't feel smug at all. Why would I? I go from being stressed at work, to being stressed at home. When I think about it, I'm quietly envious at those Mum's that are able to spend quality time with their children.

Surely at the end of the day we're all trying to do the same thing: raise the next generation of good, honest, hardworking people.

Yes, and what of it ?

i have a chilly chuff,is freezing today.need mair warmer simmits

Certaintly not anti-female. Many on threads recently have said that they spend their days cooking and cleaning.

I have done it before - gone back to work when DC starts school.

Well i'm a rebel without a cause then, most mornings my friend drags me out for breakfast, in the PUB

OP, here is 20p go and phone someone who cares about what you do with your life, I am quite happy with my mine and feel no need to be smug.

not antifemale at all to discuss this.no topics are no go areas least of all not whether of not housewife's fanny about all day

i dont feel smug i feel jealous - jealous that they are living an actual life without the daily grind of going of working for someone else, they are not reliant on their wage at the end of the month, they dont have to fit all the cleaning into saturday morning while missing time with ds, they can do what I would do if I didn't have to work - the fact is you dont even work so how can you feel smug for a possible scenario that might happen in the future?

Summary of polarisation of these threads:

WOHM - selfish, unfeeling, unmaternal, money obsessed evil bitches.

SAHM - lazy, idle, stupid, unambitious cupcake baking ingrates

yes!so we have met...

yawn

so after your first DC, you waited until he started school, then went to work, yes??

ok, I got you beat.....I went back to work when DD1 was just 5wks old.

ner....I am smugger than you!

No, why do you think DS was 5 weeks old? He was school age.

that's a very good point, carrotsandpeas, how can a person feel smug about something which hasn't happened yet?
For all the opening poster knows, the extra strain of working with a child will be something she hates.
She simply does not know yet. Puzzling.

i took a work call in recovery!answered diligently and then told em to not disturb me again

Sorry, I mis-read.

Having an EXTRA child could make a great deal of difference. It might not but then again it might. Point is this; she won't actually know how she'll feel until she gets there.

Why do people feel the need to attack other people's choices? I work in a very part time and flexible role and have 2 school age children. This works for me. I have been considering going back to work in a more formal role but in the holidays I will be working to pay for childcare. I will also probably miss nativity plats and open mornnigs etc at school. If you want to be a fullt tome WOHM fine. If you want to be a full time SAHM fine.

This is about third time I've had to state this now - I have done it before.

I cannot see how the OP will reveal herself by telling what she does for a living, ffs what job is so utterly specialised that only ONE person out of the thousands of Mumsnet members could be doing it??

But have you done it before with TWO children instead of one?
Please understand that I am pretty neutral about all of this -pros and cons of wohm and sahm and all that- but I do not get how you can actually know how you will feel about this until you're actually working again.

Not in finance or she would know "Past performance is no guarantee of future results"

I have a 15 yo, do some volunteering at his school, but am stopping from next year as it's his GCSE year, and was studying.

I am abroad, and am a teacher, but don't want to teach at ds's school. I went back to work when ds was 6 months old and stopped when we moved abroad when he was almost 11. I'm enjoying not being in paid employment - I invigilate exams if it suits me, and am a senior examiner and examiner for GCSEs.

I like life now - I wasn't enjoying it much when working. I see this as the time I didn't have off when he was a pre schooler.