for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

[CareeringAlong]

Name change...

Following from the threads about life at home when you don't do voluntary of paid work, although your children are of school-age, I was wondering if anyone else who does work can't help feeling a tad superior? Oh yes, I know I'll be flamed for this, but there it is.

These housewives seem to do all the things that working mothers do (cooking, cleaning, planning etc, etc, etc) but don't have any purpose outside of this. They seem to think that doing the supermarket shopping is a reasonable replacement for a 'real' career. I can't help but feel prejudiced against them.

I'm currently a SAHM as DD is pre-school, but will do paid (and voluntary) work as soon as she's in school. I'm looking forward to building-up my career again and working for the family.

Oh, and before anyone jumps on this, I've always cooked decent-quality meals from scratch, even when I worked v. long hours; my dogs are walked in the early hours; and my house is always clean and tidy. I argue that ironing is for losers, however!

OK. Hard hat on!

Ok, typical day of me (sahm)

Up at 6.30 with dc
Get breakfasted and ready for school (ds1)
Drive to school - in next village
Drive to my mums - she has health problems and I check in on her every day - take her to Gp/go to chemists for her as needed
Drive home
Tidy house
Shopping if needed
Get ds2 to sleep
Ironing
Washing
Play with ds2/go out with ds2
Drive to fetch ds1 from school
Home
cook tea
eat tea
wash dishes
play with dc/watch dvds with dc
help with ds1's homework/reading
dc Bath
dc Bed
tv time!!
*

• to that list add tues and sat - ds1 to karate class Weds - ds1 to beavers (I am assistant Beaver leader) Fri - ds1 swimming class

Thats about it.

I am on the go from 6.30 am til 8pm then I sit down and MN and watch TV.

Does that answer your question, chaya?

Off to do some ironing now and then later am finishing the boys bedrooms which we have been decorating.

Really dont know how I would fit in a job tbh. I know I could get my groceries delivered and I know I could get a cleaner and someone to do the ironing but it would use up money I was earning and its more important to me that I am there for my dc whilst they are so young. When they are older they will not need me so much so, who knows????????

"you sahm-ers have day reckoning,when the wallet dh ups off with a twinky and your pelvic floor is shot"

He bloody won't, I own half the house heh heh

And my pelvic floor is in fine fettle after three c-sections.

I reckon I could pop out a ping pong ball or two if things got tough on the financial front

CommanderDrool

Yes it is much harder to organise childcare once DC are at school. Before they are at school is hard, but you just take them to one place and they mostly enjoy it even if you feel guilty and wonder if they would rather be with you. And it heartbreaking when they sob and plead. (doesn't happen often). Before and afterschool, is when you have 3 to pay for, expensive. (Cheaper than all day, which, once they reach school you do not have to pay all day everyday, you have to pay in the holidays obviously) and they end up exhausted, not able to see friends etc. It gets even worse when they get to 10 or 11 or so. They don't want to go to/are too old for the childcare available, but too young to be at home on their own. And I am sure they have missed out on homework help etc. In fact I feel like they are growing up in a blink of an eye and really makes me cry sometimes. Other times I am glad to go to work for a break from the squabbling siblings.I was terrified at the thought of juggling it all. I am rubbish at juggling it all. But all we can do is try our best. (and acknowledge/try to improve that I get distracted, e.g. mumsnet)

Just hope for you that you are lucky enough/ able to make sure that dp notices and gets his rude awakening, appreciates and does his bit/shares equally etc.

What a misery I sound. I consider myself lucky to have a lovely family and we are happy and lucky to have work really. You'll be fine.

this is like pretend play for grown ups - I'm smug because in 5 years time I'm going to be a supermodel/prime minister/X-factor winner and going to be the bestest one ever. Good concept, OP, well done.

A1b2

I am sure I will be writing your post in five years time. I know it's going to be tough because it was for my mother. That said, I am very proud of her and I appreciate how hard she worked gor our family even though she didn't always manage sports days/ assemblies.

I think mothers are conflicted whatever they do and threads like this fon't help.

Becaroo - on the go from 6.30 til 8pm and yet posting on mumsnet at 13.22? lol

Well i've worked with babies and been a sahm.

They're different. Being a working Mum was a slog (nature of job didn;t help- allied to child protection, hard when pregnant yourself) but being a SAHM is hard in different ways. I'd choose wohm every time when ds4 goes to nursery next year but technically am carer rather than sahm.

I don't think superior comes into it; i've proved I can fo it, heck I had two under 2 and 2 jobs at one point; now i'm not.

well the OP attitude and attitude of some posters doesn't help. But the understanding posts and humourousness laughing/love being lazy/other people feel like you do/seeing unreasonable OP get told off helps.

above was reply to commanderdrool and general comment

You're right, ironing is for loosers!

as are most 'replies' and posts to particular posters we see.(really should have gone to sleep, need it, babbling)

But ironing is just about the only task that is visible work yet you can watch tv at the same time. Still try to buy clothes that don't need it though.

oh come on, it's losers!

I like the idea of a "looser" though. I imagine it's someone REALLY slutty...

Having a job does not make you superior to anyone!You sound a bit petty tbh and a tad jealous.get on with your own life perfect as you think it is and let others get on with theirs.You are assuming that all jobs are fulfilling and that all SAHMs must somehow be missing out which are huge generalisations/

Looser - it's what happens to your pelvic floor after 3 kids and no exercising, isn't it? Lets face it, it's only our pants that keep everything in place.

Or is that just me?

I'll wait and see, I'm 33+5 pg with dc1. Although I already have to make sure I tense in anticipation of a sneeze or I could be in trouble...

Congrats Glittery. Tho can't offer any positives on pelvic floor...did/do (sometimes) the exercises but still very loose down there!

lol at Maisie

Maisie - that's certainly what mine felt like for a while after having DS!

For your inner pedant thumbwitch

It's on my Christmas wishlist...

As the SAHM, I'm the one helping to organise the school Christmas fayre (raising money for new computers), making multiple costumes for the play ('Would you mind doing another 3 shepherds GinGirl? So many other mums don't seem to have the time...') sitting on the preschool committee so that it doesn't have to close down, ditto the local NCT committee, helping out friends who are back on maternity leave with subsequent children and have had nasty C-section experiences... as well as doing all my mummy jobs...

We don't all sit at home with our feet up (though I am mumsneeting in the middle of the day ) and I have pre-schoolers/baby as well.

Being a SAHM is a career. It's just not one that you appear to acknowledge.

I don't need a job (paid or not) to define me as a person or give me a purpose outside of the supermarket.

I get Ocado to deliver, have a cleaner to clear up after the family and for some us educated lot, that's enough to make us very happy indeed.

Yes, I have pre-school children and when they go to school, I shall have time to go to the gym, have coffee mornings and spend a bit more time at Brent Cross.

Thanks GLitteryBalls! Have just been ironically amused by this snippet from the reviews:
"In my job as editor, I've never been quite sure about apostrophes, but I've got them nailed down now."

How do people get to be editors without knowing basic grammar?? FFS.

SAHM's do housework and childcare to a higher standard than those that place money above family ....No??

I don't think being a SAHM is a career. It's a job. A "career" implies promotion and working your way up the ladder - where do you go from being a SAHM? To being a Super SAHM?

I have always been a WOHM. I have never been rude to SAHMs and asked them what they do all day when the children are at school. (A bunch ofthe ones I know all go round to someone's house and drink coffee and/or wine and smoke dope until pick up time. ) But I have found, generally, SAHMs to be pretty hostile towards me. I've been asked on numerous occasions why I had children "just to give to someone else to bring up". I've had surprise expressed that my house is clean. I've been ignored, when I've tried to be friendly and to set up play dates.

There has also been the asssumption that DH is the breadwinner and that I am working for pin money, or to keep myself in nice shoes. There has been utter shock when I have said that, in fact, I am the breadwinner. And I have been asked if I didn't regret "marrying someone who could keep me".

I also help out with school fetes, fundraising for brownies etc. It's not an exclusive preserve of the SAHM!