for feeling smug when mothers of school-agers describe themselves as "Full-time mums" or "Housewives"?

[CareeringAlong]

Name change...

Following from the threads about life at home when you don't do voluntary of paid work, although your children are of school-age, I was wondering if anyone else who does work can't help feeling a tad superior? Oh yes, I know I'll be flamed for this, but there it is.

These housewives seem to do all the things that working mothers do (cooking, cleaning, planning etc, etc, etc) but don't have any purpose outside of this. They seem to think that doing the supermarket shopping is a reasonable replacement for a 'real' career. I can't help but feel prejudiced against them.

I'm currently a SAHM as DD is pre-school, but will do paid (and voluntary) work as soon as she's in school. I'm looking forward to building-up my career again and working for the family.

Oh, and before anyone jumps on this, I've always cooked decent-quality meals from scratch, even when I worked v. long hours; my dogs are walked in the early hours; and my house is always clean and tidy. I argue that ironing is for losers, however!

OK. Hard hat on!

interesting I worked 4 days a week whilst DS was pre-school and have taken some time off when he started school. He has benefitted way more (IMVHO) from me being around more whilst he's been in school than he did before.

I have worked part-time, full time and not worked at all (all without the aid of a partner or claiming any benefits) and I have been an unpaid trustee for a significant charity. AIBU to feel unbearably smug compared to you?

Now this is quite worrying but I would LOVE to work on earthquake planning protocols.

I used to have dealings with a company in Florida and as part of a contract had to intimitately get to know their Disaster Recovery Plan (as they were in a hurricane zone).

DAMMIT that we live in such an area of meteorological safety!

i pay a lot of money to dump my dc,guilt free.if staff do think im a avaricious boot they smile sweet til im gone.good thing since i pay their wages

Mummie - so sorry you've had a horrible time of it You did well to escape by the sounds of it.

Hussy is the word. Her and her fancy schmancy airplane wing fixed trailing edge blah blahs...your dh will no more look at her than she'll have him reeled in. Take heed.

If you manage to find that job you're "looking forward to building-up my career again" with

Good luck with that - bugger all going round here even if the sahms decide to work again :(

I am wiser for it, I would not change or regreat for one moment the time spent with my children bringing them up. There are some voluntary jobs I regret partly, mostly I got a lot from them. There are many jobs I have had that I regret wasting my life on.

You are a long time dead, and your children are only young for a short time, and they go off and have a life of their own as it should be!

I had two full time working parents and I hated it, never got to do after school activities, they never came to school events, never got to go to schoool friends for tea or them to mine, any of that sort of thing due to their jobs! Rarely had day trips as they were catching up socially, with the house etc.. I have loved doing that sort of stuff I missed out on with my children, and would not change it for the world.

"never got to do after school activities, they never came to school events, never got to go to schoool friends for tea or them to mine, any of that sort of thing due to their jobs!"

This is what happens to the children at DD's school whose parents who work full time.

I have made friends at the school gate and will miss the social aspect when DD goes to high school.

i am never at school gate.never will be.no big deal

I had a SAHM and she hated it. She said she used to think as my father left every morning - why am I being punished? Before children she had a job she loved, a great degree and then ended up mashing potatoes and ironing clothes. Probably because of this my sisters and I are all WOHM - and have to say all love our careers and our children. Don't feel smug - just very different to SAHM.

Just saw Rivens up yer bum post on page 5. Loved it. Bloody OP, I work full time but am damn jealous of the SAHM's. It is not a lifestyle that would suit me but flipping heck I wish it would. I love my job so so much but still sometimes crave the SAHM stuff. You, my dear, are a full on twunt. Judgemental so and so. Don't namechange, own up to your smuggery.

Bickie, I would happily go part time again to help my children with my grandchildren if needed to, I feel sad for your mum to have resented it so much and not going to work when you were kids!

Getoifmoiland, I am an Air Traffic Controller and have a geeky side interest in aircraft design...I'm trying to flirt with you now....

scottishmummy, I will never be at the gate too, but I, unlike the OP, don't think of myself as a trail blazing go getter because of it. Its all about choices surely?

nope,im not there as i work,no trail.realistic.

Mdthoh, she was a great great mum, and we always told her that. She was just really bored by being a housewife. It was the 60's though and she was wife of a doctor - and good wives didn't work. Thank God we now can choose. I love my SAHM friends for loving their choice as much as I love mine.

Yes, I long to work full time at home and also work full time outside the home. I am hugely proud of the way capitalism has exploited women to engender the double burden. Congratulations on seeing no issue with this while polishing your shiny halo. ;)

exactly scottishmummy, no trail, no smuggery, it's just another choice we all make. No right, no wrong, no superiority. I think the OP is bang out of order.

I had two full time working parents and I hated it, never got to do after school activities, they never came to school events, never got to go to schoool friends for tea or them to mine, any of that sort of thing due to their jobs

Well, I had this from my Dad. My parents had a very traditional setup, housewife and breadwinner working 50 - 60 hrs a week.

I'd wager that my own parent's setup wasn't ideal either, really. My mum was always the one to attend school related activities, took us to the dentist, etc - it meant that when my nan got ill one year and had to leave us for 2 weeks my dad truly didn't have a clue with what to do with his own family. He didn't even know what our teacher's names were, whether we had homework, what days we did after-school sports - you go from one totally overly involved mother vs. a totally loving but uninvolved father (who, if he'd been honest about it, knowing the man he is, I'm sure he'd have loved to become more involved had it ever occured to them, to veer from the traditional setup).

So, it doesn't make it better, having 1 working fulltime parent and 1 work at home parent. Normally it just means that you notice dad's involvement less. I certainly did, until mum went to stay with nan...

So, yeah - I'm not sure my upbringing was any better than your own, really. A lot of missed time with my dad, you know?

Oh fuck me now we are blaming capitalism.

of course capitalism flawed,but hell i'll take my chances.and keep working like a donkey

frfr for you, glad you got the chance even under horrible circumstances to have more one on one time with your df! I used to book parents even for a time that my ex could work around getting to in the evenings!

scottishmummy I am too. Eating and roofs over heads, you know. I don't feel guilty, either. But I do wonder how it is that emancipation is now being expected to do everything my grandmother did plus paid employment, too.

GetOrfMoiLand I prefer to knit my own mooncup, personally. From lentils. Hemp itches.

yanbu wanting a career but yabu looking down on those who dont have one cant have one or dont want one , and i would keep that attitude to yourself when you do go for a job , my mum was a sahm and she was there every night to pick us up the tea was made she was relaxed and happy and ready to play with us or help with homework and we had a beautifully tidy home to go to , it may not be the lifestyle for everyone but she was happy and so were we and the idea of someone like you looking down on her makes me feel very

BTW I do mean "expected." It was awful that so many gifted, able women were trapped as mothers and housewives when they hated it and longed to work, just due to societal expectation. I simply feel that the expectation is now flipped, and women do more for less credit. The SAH vrs WOTH thing is bonkers IMO. You can't win either way, and if there were a genuine choice as opposed to finances forcing a lot of women back to the workplace long before they/their kids were ready, then that would be real progress.

You are sooooooo jealous OP.