To find this note patronising and high handed

[lobsters]

I live on a modern housing estate, it's fair to say it's not the most neighbourly place in the world, we don't not get on, I just really don't know most of my neighbours, and the street is a funny design so I never see them. The street is also on a steep hill up the side of a valley.

Anyway, I've been in all day working from home, just found this note has been pushed through the letter box and for some reason it has really annoyed me. AIBU?

To quote

Dear Neighbour
As you are aware snow is on its way. Our road is very slippery and we need to be prepared. As courtesy to our fellow neighbours could you please grit the section of road outside your house so that it is safe to walk on the road.
Last year was really difficult and treacherous, especially walking children to school

Many thanks
No 31

Why put the note through? Why now knock on people's doors and have a chat? Surely that would be nicer if it bothered you so much? And where am I meant to get grit from? I can clear the snow once it's fallen, but I don't have spare grit lying around to use in advance.

Am temtped to return note with something equally patronising

YABU - maybe the person posting the note doesn't have time to do more. At least they are trying to do something.

Maybe she didn't want to spend hours chatting to everyone on the street?

Maybe she is shy?

I think its a very good idea and a very reasonable and polite note!!

YABU, but make sure you do a good job as don't want someone sueing you if they slip over once its cleared(wink)

I expect the note was written by a sahm with nothing better to do

Actually I think it's v sensible and commendable and the op should send less time moaning and more time gritting!

Norty

How is this

As courtesy to our fellow neighbours could you please grit the section of road outside your house

not patronising & rude?

Who does she think she is, to tell the OP, to behave courteously?

There are 100 better ways to phrase her note - better still, leave everyone else to do what is right for them!

If you want more of the road cleared to make it easier for you - then clear it - simple.

If someone hasn't cleared their driveway/pathway etc knock and see if they are OK

Don't send patronising notes out to your neighbours like some bossy head girl.

Now I think about it, there are quite a few things that my neighbours should in my opinion start doing, and I bet lots of them do things I think they shouldn't do.

I could write a note every week about a different issue and put them through letterboxes, I could have everyone in the street nice and organised, and behaving like my idea of model citizens in no time. No one could possibly feel annoyed or patronised by my helpful advice and sensible ideas, could they?

No Ephiny - you could tell them to be courteous they should trim their rose bushes to exactly 3ft and make sure not a single leaf hangs over their garden.... there are just so many things you could ask them to do - just to be courteous!

Write a note and say you do not have any grit and would they mind buying you some and then shove it back through their door.

I don't think no.31 is being patronising just because they didn't phrase their note to your liking. Not everyone has the pen of a ready writer.

In some countries, you're legally obliged to clear the snow outside your property. Now THAT'S bossy!

Haven't read all the thread but in our small village of seemingly mostly retired people our local newsletter has stated only people in the village who have been insured may grit the paths, if you grit and someone slips you can be sued or some such nonsense!

YAB a but sensitive IMO but understandably so. Can't believe you will actually see this if you have time to read this far you have time to clear your bit. Why not ask no31 to let you have some grit this time.

Another thought is that if everyone else cleared their bit and no-one mentioned it to you how would you be feeling?

"In some countries, you're legally obliged to clear the snow outside your property. Now THAT'S bossy!"

But at least that makes sense - I've heard that in some American neighbourhoods, you HAVE to keep your front lawn mown to a certain level otherwise you get fined or something.

I think it sounds bossy and patronising.

Why does No 31 feel the need to explain to you that gritting the road is something you do "so that it is safe to walk on the road"? Do they think you are completely thick?

So do I identify most with 31's:

Community spirited, action oriented, heart-in-the-right-placeness

OR their

Haughty, entitled, holier than thou tone ?

Close call.

I just do so very much dislike their insinuation that others are incapable of being courteous without their oh-so-noble intervention.

YANBU

From the content of the note, it would appear that no one/not everyone managed to think of it themselves or be courteous and considerate about it last year - so not an unfair assumption that they're going to be any different this year without a gentle reminder.

UABU

What ladyviper said

UABU, it sounds like she did her best and who wants to hang around in the cold and dark, continually knocking on doors at the moment!

What are they going to do to people who disobey their forthright instructions? Do they plan to gossip about them and moan about how un-community-spirited they are?

Lobsters have you replied in any way, shape or form yet. I'm strangely interested to see how this all pans out