To find this note patronising and high handed

[lobsters]

I live on a modern housing estate, it's fair to say it's not the most neighbourly place in the world, we don't not get on, I just really don't know most of my neighbours, and the street is a funny design so I never see them. The street is also on a steep hill up the side of a valley.

Anyway, I've been in all day working from home, just found this note has been pushed through the letter box and for some reason it has really annoyed me. AIBU?

To quote

Dear Neighbour
As you are aware snow is on its way. Our road is very slippery and we need to be prepared. As courtesy to our fellow neighbours could you please grit the section of road outside your house so that it is safe to walk on the road.
Last year was really difficult and treacherous, especially walking children to school

Many thanks
No 31

Why put the note through? Why now knock on people's doors and have a chat? Surely that would be nicer if it bothered you so much? And where am I meant to get grit from? I can clear the snow once it's fallen, but I don't have spare grit lying around to use in advance.

Am temtped to return note with something equally patronising

I dont see what is wrong with it. You werent ordered or guilted to do it and she didnt bother you. Dont see your issue YABU.

YABU They can't talk to everyone, and TBH if your road was anything like ours last year, it's a good idea. If they'd not sounded high handed, someone else would have thought that they weren't being polite. They can't win [feels slightly sorry for person at no. 31]

Well, first news you hear of neighbourly community spirit and you are complaining? How unreasonable.

FWIW if you live in a very steep area, where there are real risks with ice, it it only fair that everyone do their bit.

You can get grit from most DIY places.

Lobster, if someone saw my DP's car in the drive during the day they would assume he was on night shifts so would not knock unless necessary.
Are you liable if you de ice/grit/salt the foot path? DP thinks we are and has said no to putting anything on the path [we have an open drive no wall/gate so nothing for people to hold onto] We have already had some one fall and break their leg outside our house
I have saved the ash from the fire to use now not sure

I think it's a great idea - and if could get out of the house to get near a printer think my road could do with it

It would go a long way to making it less annoying if it said, eg 'If you have trouble doing it please phone this number and we will arrange for someone to help you out.'
Being neighbourly isn't about appointing yourself gritting police, it's about actually helping.

We had a similar note last year, it didn't bother me in the slightest. I would much rather have a note than have someone knock on my door because I rarely answer the door and can't be arsed to talk to anyone.

It is an urban myth that you're liable for accidents if you clear snow from the path in front of your house. Grit is best as salt just melts the ice which re-freezes as soon as it gets cold again. Grit at least gives a bit of grip.

or had some useful info in like 'Travis Perkins grit is cheaper than B&Q' (disclaimer, don't know if it actually is)

I might see if we can get some grit at the weekend, I've just double checked the weather forecast and we're not forecast snow this week. I know the snow and ice is dangerous, I ended up with concussion last year. And I've not said I'm not going to do it.

The road got cleared last year, in the morning after the snow and we didn't need a note, it just happened. I think I just reacted badly to what feels like a head girl type instruction.

If the weather is really bad, no amount of gritting the pavement and road is going to help.

I bet you get christmas cards from the whole street 'to no. 53, happy crimbo, from no, 46'.

Thank fuck I live in the middle of a city where noone talks to each other.

Plus live at the end of a cul de sac so don't get any shit re gritting drives.

I would deliberately ice the street and watch them fall like skittles.

"I would much rather have a note than have someone knock on my door because I rarely answer the door and can't be arsed to talk to anyone"

I never ever answer the front door unless I know someone is coming.

I'm not sure it's the fact that it was a note that's the issue, it's the tone. If someone knocked on my door and said 'I'm just calling to remind you to grit the road' I would be equally as I would be at the note; it's how it is phrased.

I think it is fine TBH. Every year I clear and salt /grit the bit of road and pavement outside my house and that of my very frail elderly neighbour (so she doesn't break her hip taking her rubbish out).

The pavements were treacherous last year and the local hospital treated 3 times as many fractures as usual because the local council had tried to save money by not treating the pavements.

If everybody did their own little bit, and helped their neighbours, life would be a lot easier.

There are several able bodied young men in the street who clear their drives just so they can take their cars door to door, and don't spare a thought for the old people who have to walk.

Yabu

The note is polite and consise. What would you prefer they write?

I don't think it is patronising quite friendly actually and good idea too

Thanks off to stick my tongue out at DP and say I told you so

YABU
There is nothing wrong with it, I don't know why you're annoyed at all.

Just a question did you grit your bit of pavement last year? If not then it can't be patronising.

I must admit, we have been told not to do it as if you don't do it properly and THEN someone falls, they can sue you for not clearing it properly. If you don't do it at all and they do........
I am the end house of a close so I get away with doing nothing anyway!

We definitely dug it out several times, I think we used grit, honestly can;t remember, most of the blokes (and I have to be fair it was mainly blokes) came out and cleared the street togther between them. We also helped out on another street nearby where most people's cars had been abandoned. No note was needed.

I think what annoys me is while it was treacherous last year, everyone did their best to help. It wasn't just left to everyone's own devices. Most of the village was impassable at times.

Good idea. No 31 could have phrased the note in a more friendly, less imperious manner.

I think the note is patronising as it is supposedly informing you what you must do to be "courteous", as if you don't already know what courtesy is.

"Please grit the section of road outside your house" comes over as rude. There's a "please", but no question mark, so it reads like an instruction from a bossy headmistress, not a question or request.

I think YBVU, maybe it was a note ,perhaps the whole the street received, note sending is thinking of not only their own safety,but their neighbours also

ShoppingDays, if they put a question mark there it would grammatically incorrect! It reads as a polite request (literally)