To find this note patronising and high handed

[lobsters]

I live on a modern housing estate, it's fair to say it's not the most neighbourly place in the world, we don't not get on, I just really don't know most of my neighbours, and the street is a funny design so I never see them. The street is also on a steep hill up the side of a valley.

Anyway, I've been in all day working from home, just found this note has been pushed through the letter box and for some reason it has really annoyed me. AIBU?

To quote

Dear Neighbour
As you are aware snow is on its way. Our road is very slippery and we need to be prepared. As courtesy to our fellow neighbours could you please grit the section of road outside your house so that it is safe to walk on the road.
Last year was really difficult and treacherous, especially walking children to school

Many thanks
No 31

Why put the note through? Why now knock on people's doors and have a chat? Surely that would be nicer if it bothered you so much? And where am I meant to get grit from? I can clear the snow once it's fallen, but I don't have spare grit lying around to use in advance.

Am temtped to return note with something equally patronising

Actually, I too have a vague memory of having read somewhere that we were advised not to clear pavements outside our houses because if it was clearish, then people assumen it's safe and take less care than if it's snowy. And that if someone subsequently slipped, then the householder is liable.

Or am I imagining this? Trouble is, with all these health and saftety advisories, it could well be true.

ShoppingDays, that's exactly where I was coming from. It's the telling me what is courteous I object to. Also the lack of acknowledgement about the efforts everyone put in last year, it was treachrous, but everyone tried. The problem was the drop in temperatures over night, which froze snow that had melted during the day due to grit and sun.

Clam - you're only liable if you actually clear it in a stupid way that causes a problem, not if they randomly happen to slip.
So if you poured boiling water on it to defrost it and then it froze and created a sheet of black ice, someone could sue you. But if you shovelled the path clear just like everyone else did and someone happened to fall there they couldn't.
(That's what I remember from discussions last winter, anyway.)

No, I think it sounds presumptious and bossy. It assumes that Lobsters won't do it without being asked.

Put the note in the bin and try to forget about it. Deal with the snow problem if and when it arrives.

i dont think its patronising, i would rather stick a note through everyones door than risk 2 hours talking shit with people i dont know.

just stick a bit of salt out - if everyone does it then no one will fall ontheir arse - its a good idea

OP - bless...did you shed a tear or two over this?

Life is too short.

I think it's probably just pragmatic & sensible. It is very cold - bit bloody cold for (even a very organised community minded person) someone to spend the entire evening knocking on every neighbours door to request you all chip in to do the obvious.

I've read so many threads/posts by MN'ers living on steep hills having great difficulties in the icy/snowy weather, I'd think that you'd be thankful someone has made the effort to organise politely & without harrassement something which will benefit you all.

Don't do it if you don't want to but I think YBVU not to.

My friend used cat litter as emergency grit last year, said it worked a treat.

I'm not saying I'm not going to do it, I just don't appreciate what I viewed as a patronising note through the door telling me to.

Really didn't shed a tear, am having a grumpy day, so just made me a little grumpier. Had quick rant on MN, returned to work.

Mind you now I'm confused as to when I am meant to grit, BBC is forecasting no snow for the next week, weather.com is forecasting it tonight and Thursday. Mind you I won't be able to grit tonight as I haven't got any grit (but will double check in the garage) and won't have time to get out and get any. Wonder if the lady at no 31 has any to spare?

Unused, not out of the litter tray

Mind you I'm beginning to wonder if there will be an anti-grit campaign, as our road did become a bit of a sledging destination of choice, and from what I could see at the time all schools were closed and the kids were having a great old time. It was the grown ups like me panic buying up Waitrose and trying to get it home were geting the hump.

This is why it got treacherous, not because we didn't grit

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1094076-to-be-so-annoyed-with-this-man

Am I a smug git for pointing out that, earlier this summer, I purchased 10 bags of grit (and have hidden them out of sight from prying tea-leaves)??

Why more people don't take it upon themselves to do this sort of thing is beyind me.

GuardianReader - you've just reminded me DH is the sort of person to do that, there might be some in the garage or the shed, I'll have to have a look, he's away so can't do it.

There had better be snow tomorrow to stop me from getting to work.

i'm always relieved when somebody else seems to be in charge, so i'd be relieved that nobody was expecting me to manage a clear up.

I do think he/she at number 31 might very well be a bossy old trout, but sometimes you need these people. They are 'dooers' iykwim. Let them dooooo.

I would find the note a bit annoying, can't bear being 'organised' and bossed around like that. Who put them in charge of the entire street?

It is a good idea though, we cleared the pavement outside our house when it snowed last winter, so did a few of the neighbours. It would be nice if everyone did it, but it's not my place to tell other people they should, there's no way I'd do that. If they so badly want the whole street to be cleared, they need to either do it themselves or ask the council to send someone.

That note would really, really wind me up actually.

I mean, clearing outside your house is a good idea, not sending patronising notes to your neighbours is a good idea

Was there a handwritten sig at the bottom of the note? I think that would have taken some of the pompous formality out of the note...

I think its fab that as a community you are all coming together to make your area a sfarer place

Seriosly, reasonable note and reasonable to put it in writing, what are the chances of them gettint to talk to everyone on one outting?? I wouldn't want to be repeatdly knocking on peoples doors!

Sounds fine to me.

If it has snowed in the night, we have to have our path clear by 8am.

If I were going to write a note, that's how I would write it. And I certainly wouldn't mean it to be patronising or be trying to make it sound like an obligation. Maybe some neighbours wern't sorting their part. It does get dangerous for children and especially the elderly when people can't be bothered to sort their drives.

Actually, i think we are supposed to keep the path outside the house & our drive clear from 7am-8pm on weekdays.