To find this note patronising and high handed

[lobsters]

I live on a modern housing estate, it's fair to say it's not the most neighbourly place in the world, we don't not get on, I just really don't know most of my neighbours, and the street is a funny design so I never see them. The street is also on a steep hill up the side of a valley.

Anyway, I've been in all day working from home, just found this note has been pushed through the letter box and for some reason it has really annoyed me. AIBU?

To quote

Dear Neighbour
As you are aware snow is on its way. Our road is very slippery and we need to be prepared. As courtesy to our fellow neighbours could you please grit the section of road outside your house so that it is safe to walk on the road.
Last year was really difficult and treacherous, especially walking children to school

Many thanks
No 31

Why put the note through? Why now knock on people's doors and have a chat? Surely that would be nicer if it bothered you so much? And where am I meant to get grit from? I can clear the snow once it's fallen, but I don't have spare grit lying around to use in advance.

Am temtped to return note with something equally patronising

RitaLynn, a question mark there wouldn't be gramatically incorrect. "Please could you....?" would make the sentence read as a question (where people have the option to say no) rather than an order.

YABU

i dont see any problem with it

lobsters - fingers crossed you have some hidden somewhere.

I would imagine prices have gone up now but Google "grit" or "rock salt" and you may find supplies available. We moved to a house with a VERY steep drive, hence my desire for some grit early on in the year.

I would be glad to have such a well organised and thoughtful neighbour. I don't think it sounds patronising at all. They'll have sent the note to every house, not just to those whom they deem to be lazy and irresponsible. Don't take it as an insult.

I think number 31 are disorganised and a bit hopeless really.
I mean, what's the point of ordering everyone to do gritting now without having remembered to send you all to the builders' merchant to buy grit a few months ago when they actually had some in? I would be much more impressed if you had got a letter in September reminding you to buy grit

yabu - great idea, nice note, touchy neighbours.

Not patronising or high handed. Sensible and polite.

YABU.

Maybe the neighbour feels the same as you, that people don't really have a community spirit. Maybe he/she is trying to create some when everybody is out in force together gritting the road.

patronising + bossy - yanbu - just ignore it.

really good idea - OP can I ask why don't you go out and knock on everyones door in your close and say hello and have a chat about the cold weather and what everyone is doimng to prepare for the snow and ice beside gritting the roads - that way at least you would get to knwo your neighbours and at least try to get soem community spirt going - you can make that first move

YABU
If everyone bothered to clear the snow outside their house there would be fewer broken bones in A&E

Would you have felt even more patronised if the note had gone on to explain where you could get grit from? Or the best gritting technique? The best time to grit? Or alternatives to grit? Think you will just need to grit and bear it

I second the cat litter suggestion. In the US, it's often suggested as an item to have in the car in case of an emergency in the snow. (er, obviously not something you keep in the car year-round.) I was going to suggest it here but I haven't owned a cat in this country, and wasn't sure what type of litter was common here. I know some are different textures. Obviously you'd want the uh, grittier sort. :)

YABU, its a polite note to keep all the residents as safe as can be in this weather.

I've gritted tonight as the snow is forcast overnight for here, stocked up with grit last month as easily bought from DIY stores - or is at least prior to snow arriving

Thanks for reminding me to buy cat litter tomorrow.

I need it for my cats.

Last year the shops ran out because of all the people using it for grit.

YANBU It was a badly phrased note - she was clearly a Head Girl

The implication is that you don't have the manners/sense to do it yourself and even if you didn't - she has no right to tell you to do it...

I'm with Tatty!

Well the BBC has now changed it's forecast and is also predicting snow for tomorrow, so unless I'm saved by the garage or shed, I'm going to have to pop round to no 31 and borrow some grit. Or see if we have some very old cat litter, the cat always poos in poo corner in the garden.

I would have found it more useful if no.31 had suggested this back in September and organised a whip round for a mass delivery of grit that we could have all stored in gardens/ garages.

I'm sure no 31 was either head girl/ boy, or was the one secretly sulking in the corner because they didn't get elected, beacuse everyone in the school thought they were too much of a goody two shoes busy body.

I can see the good intentions, but somehow it really rubbed me up the wrong way

It would have me too

It could have been worded so much better! I really really really hope you have some grit in the garage

The note's fine & community minded. They wouldn't know if you cleared your section or not last year but presumably it was a problem for some, the elderly, physically disabled etc. My US rellies are already snowed in & by law have to clear the path to the front and side of the house but not into the road in case cars hit it and get written-off.

I would not like this note. It's petty, but if I had already been thinking of gritting, I probably would not want to do it so much now, because I'd been ordered to. The idea is fine, but a chat would have been less bossy.

I think YABU, it's a brilliant idea, if everyone who could did this then life would be so much easier for everyone. I would be knocking on their door to thank them for taking the initiative and encouraging more people to help out as well.

so you start off complaining that it's not a neighbourly area and then complain when somebody makes a neighbourly suggestion

at least No 31 is making an effort

Iwastooearly....... I don't see it as that neighbourly, before this afternoon I had no opion on the people at no31, now I think they are annoying (and I still think that), they didn't even put their names on the note, so it doesn't seem like an effort to get to know people (it does just say no31 lobsters rd)

I have nothing against neighbourly-ness. I had even been thinking I wonder if we should do something as a street for the royal wedding.

Right, DD is in bed, so off to wrap up warm and search in the garage and shed for grit (have to say I haven't seen any of the neighbours out)

I don't think it's neighbourly - neighbourly is actually helping people or at least offering to help, not just issuing instructions (particularly when you're telling people to do things they were going to do anyway, which is just rude and hence surely the opposite of neighbourly).

I don't think it's that bad really. It can be hard to get the tone just right in a note, but number 31 might not have the time, or the confidence, to go talk to everyone.