pil refuse to discllose what they are buying my dc

[springchik]

When I ask they are very evasive mil even adopts a "none of your business" type of an attitude! THe thing is there is serious danger that my children could get duplicate presents if they dont discuss it with us. Infact at ds2s recent birthday it nearly happened. I took my mum to a toy shop and suggested various thomas toys (among other suggestions but he is Thomas mad). She bought a thomas play set "cranky the crane". Pil came round in the afternoon and ds got a very similar cranky the crane set! Also on the same trip I showed my mum a lego plane set and said ds1 has mentioned he wants that for christmas. Mil mentioned at the birthday get together (ds1 wasnt in room) that when she babysat last ds2 mentioned he wants the lego plane for christmas. I mentioned that I had mentioned it to my mum as an idea. However she refuses to confirm or deny if she is buying it. This sort of thing happens every christmas and birthday for my dc! So worried as its no secret what they like/want that they will get duplicates iyswim.

they are being control freaks

and so are you

You won't force the information out of them so take a laid back attitude of 'okie-doke, but you might want to keep the receipt in case it is a duplicate' and leave it at that.

peas in a pod arent you!

be bloody grateful they buy for your dcs, mine rarely recieve a card.

I do not tell anyone what to buy but I do give suggestions if asked and my mum does ask as she wants to buy things they want iyswim.

"serious danger"

just tell them what you have bought and if theirs is the same they can change it. and you know what. i got two identical barbies one year. i thought it was great. i made them twins!

Ask your mum what she is buying. Tell your MIL.

Sorted.

Or just find something else to worry about. They get duplicate presents - so you say "Oh, dear. Mever mind, we'll go to the toyshop after Christmas and you can change one of them for something else:

What about if your husband asks? I would get your husband to explain that kids getting duplicate presents for xmas is no fun for anyone and ask them why they are being so childish about it. Sounds bizarre to me, but it sounds as though you don't get on with them so would be best coming from their son.

"serious danger"

Yes just swap them

let it happen

it won't be the end of the world

then maybe they will be more communicative in future

serious danger=electrocution,drowning,acute illness.not duplicate presents,get a perspective,save your ire for something that really matters

What seeker said. Surely the solution?

They wont be receiving my parents presents til boxing day when we are seeing them so it they do get duplicates my parents will feel bad about giving the duplicate iyswim!

So your children might get duplicate presents. Worse things happen at sea, you know!

If they do end up getting a duplicate, and the DC don't show much interest becaus ethey've already got one, then your PIL might see the point. But really, its not that terrible a thing to happen is it?

Probably not helpful, but when dd tells us what she wants for xmas and her birthday (although being only 2, its a case of looking at catalogues and saying "I want that mummy") we write out a list and show it to every one who wants to buy her something, then ask them to get somehing off that list and cross off what they are getting, so, touch wood, no duplicates. All though to start with my mother just got dd what ever she felt like, and we did have duplicates, but only the once. I had to explain to her that it is easier if she checks with me first as we will know if she already has or if someone else is getting it for her.

Can you get you dh to have a word with your pil and explain why you need to know?

Tell your mum to get something non Lego or Thomas related

how old is ds?

Yes I agree seriously bad choice of words lol!

Is your mum definitely getting the plane?

so what hardly cataclysmic is it.in scheme of thing dont think you need save for therapy

Christmas, you and your IL's are really a bad combination aren't ya ?

Does it matter? If they get duplicate presents donate one to charity-my children have taken theirs to the salvation army or local homeless shelter since they were tiny.

If they are lucky enough to get 2 they don't need both so why not share the joy. Children get far too many presents anyway.

Another one here who really thinks you need to get some perspective [shocked] - serious danger indeed.

If you think your parents are going to get duplicate presents why on earth don't you tell them to get something else.

She said she cant even start her shopping until she knows what mils buying as she doesnt want to dulicate presents. Rings me daily to ask if I've sorted it.Nags me constantly to ring mil and find out