to think the teacher could have stopped ds from walking out of school this morning?

[whoops]

I have a few issue with ds and his behaviour and this morning was one of those mornings where he wanted to kick off.

I caught him swearing at another child and then he swore at me. I told him that he wouldn't be going to football this evening (this incident was football related) he then starts punching me as I'm taking him into school.

As we get through the doors he sits himself down and makes lots of noise. Teacher on the door tells him not to sit there and behave like that while other children are going into school. I pick him up and start taking him towards the classroom.

One of his class teachers has come to see what is going on at this point. Ds then starts hitting and kicking me so I put him down and teacher gets hold of him for me. Ds then breaks free and heads out of the School past the teacher on the door who stands there and watches. I complained that she could have stopped him but I was told he was my responsibility as I was in the school dealing with him.

Thankfully he stopped before getting to the main gates but we live on a main road which he has to cross 3 other main roads to get to so if he decided that was what was going to do I dread to think what would happen to him.

AIBU to think the teacher could have helped a little but stopping him from leaving the school?

I'm pretty sure a teacher can't restrain, am I wrong?

And to what extent do you expect her to get hit and kicked as well?

How old is he?

he wouldn't hit and kick a teacher just me :(
I wasn't asking her to restrain maybe not stand there and watch him run past her!

he's 9

YABU she has other children to deal with so why should she deal with yours whilst you're there.

All depends how old he is.

Maybe, but surely the real issue here is your son's behaviour and what you can do to help him become more respectful. Don't let the teacher's lack of action (maybe she was shocked at what she was witnessing) become your focus. How old is ds?

How old is he?

Given that he was hitting and kicking etc. I'm not sure what she was expected to do.

I also suspect that teachers are very hesitant about discipline or physical restraint for pupils whose parents are present. Is likely to cause a multitude of problems.

D

Sorry but the teacher was correct. You were there, it is your responsibility as a parent.

Besides, had the teacher restrained your DS and accidentally hurt him or bruised him in the process, I have no doubt you would have been the first to complain that she hurt your child

If you hadn't been there I expect she woudl have done something. But you could have just as easily come on here saying I took my boy to school he kicked off and teacher grabbed him AIBU or should I have slapped her?!

Wow, if I saw that sort of behaviour from a 9 year old in our school I would be really shocked.

9?!?

Sounds like they were shocked

is he often like this? Would they have seen him like that at school?

At 9 he'd know about roads so not really a point

Its tricky with other people's kids, more so when the parent is standing right there.

I was in a bathroom yesterday with my son and his friend (both 3 years old). I had toileted them and my son was washing his hands. They were about to have their dinner. I asked his little friend to wash his hands and he said no and went to run away. I grabbed him and sort of picked him up/cuddled him over to the sink and popped him down so I could turn the tap on and encourage him and he went limp and wormed away again.

At that point I gave up because I didn't feel it was right to manhandle a child that wasn't my own so I left him to it but told his dad he hadn't washed his hands and let him decide what to do (which was nothing )

no I would rather she grabbed him to stop him running out of school into further danger. The thing is he has walked out of school on other occassions without them doing anything when I haven't been there

Ok re read your post

1. Why were you going in with him?

1. How do you manage to pick up a 9 yr old? I can't pick up my 6 year old!!

If you were there she probably didn't feel she could intervene. Some parents would have resented interference from a teacher in those circumstances.

If you can't keep him in school how do you expect a teacher to do so?

I'm sorry, it must be very hard for you, but they are teachers not bouncers.

Does he have SN?

I presume he's SEN with that behaviour at that age so maybe the teacher should have helped out.

Yabu if he was swearing and violent then she cant be expected to deal with that especially at age 9. Sorry. I would really try and figure this out with the school and teacher though as that must be extremely hard on everyone.

he may know about roads but these are main roads and dangerous to cross as there are no real crossing points on them

Yes, at 9 I would be less worried about roads and more worried about how violent he is being.

Do you/the school have any ideas about what is causing this behaviour? Is there a care plan to try and deal with it?