Seeing both sides

[newwave]

I am a regular exerciser and tend to watch my diet so when a friend of mine who had not been to the gym for a very long time called me and asked me if I was going on Saturday I said yes and she said she would see me there. This surprised me as at one time she had been a regular but had stopped about three years ago saying that at 47 she had grown fed up with the gym and dieting.

Later I asked her why she was back and she said her DH of over 25 years had said: "I didn?t marry you to end up with a fat blob and you need to sort yourself out" bit harsh I suppose but she had ballooned from a trim 10 to a wobbly 16.

She told me he had been getting upset about her size for a while and admitted it was due to getting a bit lazy.

I consoled her said the right things but AIBU in thinking her DH had a point.

BTW her DH is very fit for a man in his fifties, running, and golf. Still plays football.

chaotic/PIQ...put it this way

with whom would I most enjoy a night out down the pub/round my kitchen table with ?

a fat blob....or an exercise-obsessed gym bunny who thinks anyone over a size 12 is a weak and pitiable specimen ?

no need to answer, btw

No doubt you will have plenty to choose from.

obvs

Very obvs

I guess I would accept DH making criticisms about my weight (size 16 a distant memory) so long as I was free to make personal criticisms of him.

I have a list ready just in case.

Pink, trouble is - you could spend all that time at the gym losing weight and then realise that, actually, all that fat was padding out the lines nicely .

I think people can really be separated into 2 camps - those that think Madonna these days looks like an inspirational paragon of will power and discipline, or actually would probably benefit aesthetically and spiritually from softening up a bit.

Being fat ages people, without a doubt

Madonna needs to eat a few pies

And cut down on the exercise by about 3000%

Personally, I think young people being overweight ages them

Once you reach 40+ being too thin/too exercised ages you.

here

Another fat slob who should get off her lazy arse.

Madonna is an extreme example. If you are big and lose weight after about 40 then the skin doesn't go back, but if you have always been slim then I think you look younger.

What about the heath benifits, to many cant push a loaded shopping trolley without a struggle.

I'm not overweight, I'm just filling up my skin - can you imagine what I would look like if I lost all the weight? The saggy, baggy elephant, that's what.

I think Nigella is lovely but loads of my male friends including DP do think she's too fat

at "I'm not overweight, I'm just filling up my skin"

I like that one :)

AF - re "how does that explain the fact that most normal and well-mannered men would never dream of commenting unfavourably on their loved one's appearance"

Easily. They are not idiots and have learned from bitter experience that answering "How do I look?" by anything or than compliments is bound to get them in serious and long term trouble with the woman in their lives.

Can we restart the thread about Gillian macKeith and nigella being the same age .

There is nothing more dull than a person who thinks about exercise and dieting all the time. I have had to lose friends over this, I just find constant dieters terminally boring. Right up there with fundamental religious zealots.

(I'm a size 10 by the way).

OP's husband is a twat who should learn to treat his wife with respect, but 16 is fat.

well, cote, yes maybe

which brings us back to the point of this thread

the bloke in question here is an arse, and a stupid one at that

Yeah he should have just lied and said 'you look lovely'

So people can't look lovely at size 16

"which brings us back to the point of this thread"

Which was however badly put and however insensitive DID HE HAVE A POINT, which was what I asked.

I think people can, but he obviously doesn't.

So what happens when a man thinks his size 10 wife is fat? He'd prefer her to be a size 6, like when he met her. Should he tell her she's a fat, lazy arse and should lose some weight? Should she do it to keep him happy?