to feel like I want to actively pursue an affiar with a married man?

[MummikinsOopNorth]

I have a collague who has been married for 10 years to a man who I have met a number of times when he has collected her from work.

At the weekend I was in a local nightclub when this man recognised me and we got chatting. Nothing happened at all, but he asked if he could give me his number and he would take me out for dinner and to see something at the cinema sometime. I took his number and want to call him and have him take me out because his wife (my colleague) is a complete and utter bitch, and also he is rather goodlooking and as I discovered on Saturday, rather fun to be around.

The reasons I feel my colleague is a bitch is as follows:

I have overheard her on numerous occasions (when she thought I wasn't around) saying very nasty things about me

She says rude things about me indirectly like joking to colleagues about something, but I know it's about me!

She is very mean about another colleague of ours and will say horrid things about her (all behind her back of course)

She throws a load of work my way (she is more senior than I am) even if she knows I have an overflowing pile, and won't delegate to anyone else on my level.

er, so you want to destroy a marriage because you don't like someone? YABVU

So because someone is a bitch at work you think it's acceptable for you to have an affair with her husband!?

And what does that make you exactly?

I don't condone her behaviour but what you're proposing is wrong on so many levels I don't even know where to begin.

This woman, your senior manager probably thinks you are a bit daft a dippy.

I suppose she is right.

Well, having an affair with a colleague's husband would not be an ideal way to deal with work problems.

I think the marriage is already dead tbh by the way my colleague talks. They are together for convenience as they share the house and for the kids sakes.

Can't see why your motivation for an affair is based on issues at work. Deal with her directly.

So her husband is using you to get at her?

Or do you reckon she is using her husband to have a reason to get rid of you?

Yabvu

stop looking for excuses to fuck someone elses husband.

If you have such a problem with this woman then say it to her face.

Go shag him, I say! Why ever not?

I don't think she knows anything about her husband being at the nightclub. She thinks he was at a mates house.

And you think SHE is a bitch?

She is a bitch and you are considering having an affair with her husband ? Pot, kettle and black spring to mind

And if she gets wind of it you're going to even worse off at work than you are now

Even if the marriage is all but over, it's not up to you to tip it over the edge.

I can understand you feel a lot of bitterness towards this woman and she DOES sound like a nasy person but this is not the right way to go and I fear you are going to get well and truly slated on here. If she makes your life miserable now imagine how bad it is going to be when she finds out you have been seeing her husband behind her back

Leave well alone for your own self esteem (nothing good will come of it and you will end up being hurt) and if she is that toxic keep a note of everything is does and make a formal complaint like Riven has suggested.

Are you married yourself and do you have children?

If the marriage was dead that is nothing to do with you and if your man from saturday night wants to finish his marriage so he can move on it would be fair play.

But no this married man wants to have an affair with his wifes colleage and what exactly does that make him? A twat for wanting not only to have an affair but an affair right under his wifes nose - what a mena shit that type of mans is

would you really want to get envolved with a perosn like that?

If the marriage is over, then he can leave, wait a few months and then you can start to see him.

If you do it now, you will make things worse at work and also what about her children?

It's wrong, and he's an idiot, knowing full well you work with his wife and probably what she thinks of you.

P.S How many times have we heard the 'it's over and we're only together for the sake of the kids!', it's ballocks.

yabu and slightly foolhardy

if you think she's a bitch now imagine what she'll be like when she finds out

don't do it, wait til he's free.

btw he may be a bit of a spineless twonk

Are you 14?????

You want to shag her husband becaues you think she's a bitch????

What Flisspaps said. Is this for real?!

Have sex with him if that's what you want. He gave you his number so he obviously doesn't give a toss about his wife.

You'll probably have a great time.

Just tell him to keep quiet about it.

What Riven said.

You sound like a real case yourself.

This also sounds like a good way to lose your job.

Unless they have kids, GO FOR IT. The fallout in your workplace will serve you right.