to wonder why playpens seem so unpopular

[Housewife2010]

Why do playpens seem so unfashionable? We have one & I wouldn't be without it. I have somewhere completely safe in which to put my 18 month old while I answer the door or do a few jobs. He's never left in there for long. I seem to be in a minority though as so few of the other parents I know use them. How do you manage without one?

I don't like them because the people I know use them for far too long. They don't give babies/toddlers a chance to explore. If you childproof your home then why do you need one? Do jobs when baby is asleep? Take baby to the door? Use a baby gate/ gates/ socket covers etc and it isn't needed. Gives more room for them to move and develop.

'If you childproof your home then why do you need one? Do jobs when baby is asleep? Take baby to the door? Use a baby gate/ gates/ socket covers etc and it isn't needed'

One baby, yes fine, I see that - but what when you have more than one? With DS when he was small - I put him in to keep him safe from his big, over enthusiastic sister who didn't mean not to be gentle.

I have no problem going to the bathroom with children (though it is nice perhaps to go by myself), but why hold a newborn while you're on the toilet if you don't have to? Sometimes you (well, I do) need more than one hand to do certain tasks.

Oh, even by MN AIBU standards this is a ludicrous thread.

I have only one child. He is 11 months. I have a playpen. He spends, on average, an absolute maximum of 15 minutes a day in there,though he's often not in there at all. Sometimes he comes to the door with me, sometimes he comes to the loo with me, sometimes he sits in the highchair while I cook, sometimes he spends a few minutes in a playpen.

I can't believe anyone would consider that immobilising a child in a sling or a bouncy chair is any better than a few minutes with some toys in a playpen. Dress them up as different but they are the essentially the same thing. I have a sling and it still gets used from time to time but it is far more constraining of a mobile child who is practising pulling to stand etc than a playpen. Some of those walker type/bouncy things are actively frowned upon by physios.

You can explore in a playpen just as much as you can in any corner of any room. Ds spends far more time wandering about the place and touching/banging/mouthing/examining random objects than he does with his toys in his playpen. I fail to see how it will have any impact whatsoever on his toileting or language skills that, for a tiny portion of his day, he sits in one place rather than another

Balance, people, balance. Some posters are clearly letting their imaginations run riot, assuming that toddlers up and down the country are isolated in pens for hours upon hours while their families go about the business of life in different rooms.

actually, DD1 used to spend ages in our playpen. she loved it. she learned to walk holding onto the bars. I had a soft one in the kitchen so I could ignore her and get on with cooking, tinterweb etc (whilst still being present).

if a child is happy there, why on earth not?

whilst i was in labour with Ds, i could hear her laughing whilst playing in it....

reminisces about having one child only

I can't bear the one-upmanship of it all. Whatever tools aid you in parenting then so be it!

Some parents use dummies, some don't.

Some parents use reins, some don't.

Some parents use a bouncy chair for their babies, some don't.

Some use playpens, some don't.

What IS the big deal?!

I'm profoundly deaf and while I used to take DS to the loo with me so I could see what he was doing most of the time, there were times when he didn't want to come up with me or was watching Cbeebies so i used to plop him in there for 5 mins. Expecting DC2 next year and will use it again with no worries

I really can't stand the snobbery over then - and walkers - used sensibly are perfectly fine.

In fact, I have found that children who do not have baby gates, pens etc are often more wild around the house as they have not learnt boundries

never cossed my mind to buy a playpen for any of my 4 children! Don't know why, just guess I like them having freedom to explore and they all learned really quickly what they could and couldn't do and what danger means. I am not against them but it does strike me as a bit lazy. Don't know if it has affected them as they have grown up, they all wlked well before they were one and could climb up and down stairs very early .

and I agree to who siad take your child with you, seems the natural thing to do. And don't people put hot drinks out of reach around children? And kids not do chores? You don't want your grown child to tidy up after themselves? Really?

alfiesmadmother - but the playpen stage is very young,up to age 2 or so? I'd think that they'd be a bit small to be getting involved in chores?

Alfies - grr, people like you really get my goat up - smug, smug, smug 'my children all walked well before they were one!'
Why not accept that for some parents they are a useful and safe option? As someone with 11 month old twins who are still very unsteady on their feet it is sometimes not possible to carry them both down stairs to answer my front door in a hurry. And I am certainly not lazy - how rude!

MrsMackie I think you're getting as irritated as me! For some people, taking your child(ren) with you everywhere to do everything and letting them be free is simply not bloody practical.

It's not a question of lazy, alfiesmadmother, it's a questions of practicality and keeping our children safe. Some houses or family situations are not conducive to watching your child every second of every day. And whilst I appreciate that they have to learn about danger it should be in a controlled way - it will only take one trip down our stone stairs to possibly kill my baby so if you don't mind, I'd rather not do that learning when she's probably less than a year old and crawling...........

not being smug,just stating fact, and as I said I don't know if it has affected them. And just because they can't do something doesn't mean they can watch. I agree for safety they must be useful .

'I am not against them but it does strike me as a bit lazy.'

That's a horribly judgmental thing to say, alfiesmother. And you are not stating a fact you are expressing an opinion.

DD2 spent quite a bit of time in hers - she liked being in there and used to climb in if it was near the sofa if she could. How very lazy of me. Oh - and she walked on her 1st birthday. And she was potty trained by the time she was 2 - someone posted (rather judgementally again) along the lines of no wonder some children aren't potty trianed before they're 3+.

What a load of rubbish is being spouted by a lot of mothers here. I wonder what child rearing 'tools' they used that I wouldn't agree with? But you know what, I know for a fact I wouldn't judge you for using them - to each their own.

I love Alfie's cage/playpen/over inflated child development inhibitor: It means I can leave him for a moment or two in my long, thin, very very old dangerous house with numerous stairs and fireplaces without killing himself.

I love Alfie's leash/reins/overprced balertwine: It means he doesnt throw himself in front of one of those pesty double decker buses (we get them in a place called 'town' you know)

I love Alfie's bottles filled with formula - oh no, lets not go there shall we!

I used to be a childminder, so perhaps just became more apt at juggling several children. I had the equivalent of triplets 3 children ranging from 15-18 months and a school age child.
Children can help as soon as they can walk! It helps listening skills, taking directions, gross motor skills and understanding and makes their self esteem increase by being useful. It isn't lazy parenting that way, it takes far longer to delegate than to do yourself.
I still didn't need a playpen and when dd2 came along and dd1 was 2.4yrs I left dd2 downstairs and took dd1 upstairs.

I didn't do reins either with my own children. I think because they had to listen from an early age, understood instructions better because they had tasks, they didn't need reins in town or out. We held hands. DD2 is 2.9 mths and never runs towards the road, having been instructed to stop at every junction. DD1 has never run into the road and is now almost 5.

toddlerwrangler - I'm glad this thread is still going on just for your comment :)

'And don't people put hot drinks out of reach around children? '

I take it you missed my comment above with the statistics. The rest of your two comments are rubbish too.

It really depend on your situation and your child. I actually had no idea that pla
ypens or reins were in any way controversial...

I used both. My playpen took up my entire living room and I used it alot for about a year.
My son learned to walk in it-staggering from on side to the other, which was great bcos he could fall down and not be hurt, pull himself up etc.
I never had stairgates or anything, so it was what I used to keep him safe when I was cooking, going to the loo, whatever.
He was into everthing, in an old house w/ an open plan kitchen on three floors, so it was incredibly useful.
I don't think it is neccessary to be actually carting your child round the house with you at all times.

Do you know what? It's really not that important.

passes the time though.

obviously a sore point with some of you!

Playpens aren't a sore point alfiesmadmother but it is always surprising that people who post such stupid comments actually have the ability to turn on a computer.

I found mine (one of the big old-fashioned wooden ones, but this was over 20 years ago) very useful - I used to shove all the toyboxes in it once DS was in bed to get them out of the way and it was a handy place to pop him briefly if I needed to.

DD never used it that much, perhaps because I had DS to keep an eye on her if I needed, but it was still there as a toy store, this time for DS's toys that he needed to keep away from DD - he used to go in there to build his lego in safety so DD couln't destry his creations.

It was also a great place to put the Christmas tree - I put the tree on a small table and filled the space with balloons - then all the presents were put in there on Christmas Eve.

I have a cage playpen because we have a dog. Of course I can't leave the dog and baby alone in a room together for one second if I want to answer the door/go to the loo.

We have an open plan kitchen sitting room so the dog can't be kept away from the child unless said child is in his cruel cage being served only gruel playpen.