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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why playpens seem so unpopular

276 replies

Housewife2010 · 22/11/2010 14:38

Why do playpens seem so unfashionable? We have one & I wouldn't be without it. I have somewhere completely safe in which to put my 18 month old while I answer the door or do a few jobs. He's never left in there for long. I seem to be in a minority though as so few of the other parents I know use them. How do you manage without one?

OP posts:

ToysRLuv · 25/11/2010 17:29

And childproofing: I believe that there is no fully childproof house, but does there need to be one? Toddlers have to learn about what hurts/breaks etc. (within reason of course). Just put the knifes, family heirlooms, heavy vases out of reach IMHO. This is also why I would not put one of those horrible toddler helmets on DS. Apparently makes them careless and more prone to banging their heads later on.. Makes sense to me.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 25/11/2010 17:34

Toddler helmets?? They really make them? I feel another thread brewing...

We've got a 2 year old DS (DDs are fine at 5 and nearly 4) - he wasn't all that bothered with the tree last year. Oh joy - a new game.

thefirstMrsDeVere · 25/11/2010 17:48

FFS.

They are not illegal
They are NOT harmful

They DO NOT denote neglect or 'lazy' parenting.

They do not present any sort of threat to the development of a child.

If you think they do you are wrong.

You may not like them, that isnt wrong because its an opinion.

But to state any sort of fact regarding danger/harm/neglect is silly.

Alfiesmum have you read your posts? I have, you are not being bullied, you are being judgemental about other people's choices regarding something of very little importance.

Why should anyone needs to justify the use of a playpen. Daily doses of syrup of figs, regular birchings and cold showers maybe, but a fecking playpen?

ToysRLuv · 25/11/2010 17:51

www.thudguard.com/

Was on Dragons' Den. [shudder]

MyBoysHaveDogsNames · 25/11/2010 17:55

I'm now kicking myself. I had honestly forgotten about the existence of playpens and if I had remembered, may have possibly used one. Although DS2 is less of a bolter than DS1, it would have been useful when cooking, etc.

thereisalightanditnevergoesout · 25/11/2010 17:57

No way, ToyRLuv! I am lost for words.

ToysRLuv · 25/11/2010 22:00

thereisalight:

Dianne35 · 26/11/2010 00:15

My son wasn't a big fan of his playpen, but it was really handy to pop him in when running upstairs for something (nappies, wipes or whatnot), going to the loo and the odd bits and bobs you need to do and can do more quickly without a tot under your arm!

Longstocking2 · 26/11/2010 00:25

they're great but I think you have to train them to get used to them.

My dd was fine in hers til she could walk (around 11 months) then she thought it sucked badly.

I think if you put them in every day at the same time from as young as is reasonable, even in their bouncy chair, they'll be fine with it! You can always leave a bong and some weed in there and some matches if you're feeling really wild ONLY JOKING! [grin}

justj · 26/11/2010 11:46

To the mum of twins who kept her two in two separate pens- darn i wish i'd thought of that! my two were mostly v happy in their (IMO essential) playpen. mine had all kinds of activity centers etc. attached round the edges.

mine even had bars (shock horror!!) handy actually as they enjoyed using the bars to pull themselves up to walk around a bit.

(it was one that you can add extra panels in to change the shape of it- I'd highly recommend it for those who do think playpens are ok)

The only issue was that with the two of them in one place they were not always safe from each other!

I am going to start another controversy by saying that I think taking kids everywhere with you is making a rod for your own back. if they are always with you then they will always expect to be with you and that is not a realistic expectation. I believe in teaching kids a bit of independence and self reliance. They need to learn to entertain themselves for short spaces of time and to go to sleep by themselves etc. These are essential life skills.

now that my twins are a bit bigger >2, I let them run around the house so that they can learn which things are dangerous (within limits) as that too is a life skill.

i don't leave the door open and let them run in the street though...a house- just a bigger playpen with more stuff in it?

all4u · 26/11/2010 13:44

Generations of my family have used playpens and we have old cinefilm of me in mine in the front room with a coal fire in the background! It is really quite simple - those with imagination use them those without can't see the point! But then the latter are heading for trouble anyway with little ones. That's why most women are genetically programmed to be pessimists - always looking to prevent bad things happening. As for the comparison with Guantanamo I think that is borderline offensive really. Now if a neglected child was literally being incarcerated in one then the issue isn't really about the playpen is it?

foxter · 26/11/2010 15:23

all4u - that's an interesting comment "those with imagination use them those without can't see the point".
Or maybe, as many other posters have already pointed out, some people have a need for them, whilst others don't. Maybe it has nothing to do with imagination (or lack of)?
Why can't people accept that everybody is different and deals with things in different ways? Is it really such a hard concept?

foxter · 26/11/2010 15:24

maybe the comment could be amended to:
those with the space and money use them, those without find another way

Liv77 · 26/11/2010 19:48

I bought one for DS1, but it was more a failsafe for when the PIL were babysitting. I didn't use it very often as I found he'd roll around and bang his head on the bars so it was safer to leave him in the middle of the floor on a playmat. DS used it much more when I took the gate off and filled it with plastic balls.

I'm now expecting DC2 and the playpen will probably be staying up in the attic but I did buy a smaller mesh sided travelcot/playpen at an NCT sale so will have somewhere to stash the baby out of the reach of DS if necessary.

spongecakelover · 26/11/2010 20:24

I think most of my mates born in the 70s (and before and after) were playpenned and we're ok. House stuff took longer then, didn't it? More having to actually prepare food, hang washing out instead of bunging in drier etc etc. And there must have been even more and longer jobs for my grandparents' generation. What did they do with their kids while washing by hand etc? Should find out next time I speak to her.

I think you probably have to do something a bit more extreme than playpenning your kids for 15mins here and there to effect/damage their development in some way. If it's not harming them, each to their own...

northernrock · 27/11/2010 15:01

Um...I actually prepare food and hang washing out.
Ta Spongecake, you have made me feel about ninety!

spongecakelover · 27/11/2010 21:37

Sorry to be flippant northernrock it wasn't meant that way . There just weren't the shortcuts that we can use if we need to. Never cease to be tickled when food shopping with my mil "Ooooh, thats amazing" (as we walk past Ella's Kitchen products.)

earwicga · 28/11/2010 17:38

I know what you mean spongecakelover - my mum didn't have a washing machine in those days and washed for 5 of us using buckets. Life is definately much easier these days.

pommedeterre · 28/11/2010 18:44

all4 u - quite frankly bugger off!! You have responded to a comment you found offensive by being offensive yourself. Imagination has little to do with it.
I have decided on reading this thread that the type of house you live in is the deciding factor. I live in a 1960's built chalet type thing. Very little dangers. In fact with a fireguard and a stair gate and the kitchen door closed lounge and hall like an enormous playpen.
Reading on here about staircases down to kitchens and cottage type houses I can understand that it would be very hard to create a space in a house like that into an enormous playpen.
So I have decided. And that is that.
I am still sticking to my guns about not buying one but that is much more about annoying my MIL more than having a steadfast 'rule' about playpens.

spikeycow · 28/11/2010 18:53

Havent read the thread but it's obviously kicked off judging by the amount of posts. And the big deal is? I think problems and stress among mums should be shared out more equally if all people have to worry about is a fucking playpen.Has anyone mentioned child abuse? In the real world nobody gives a shit about playpens being used, it's a complete non issue. Will read the thread now

MsKalo · 28/11/2010 18:55

I have a fantastic wooden babydan one in excellent condition to sell - if you know anyone who wants to buy one - message me!

pommedeterre · 28/11/2010 18:58

MsKalo - Loving your view on this as an opportunity to sell one!

littlerascals123 · 10/01/2017 23:22

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

HeroOfFerelden · 11/01/2017 00:13

Well, that's not advertising at all.

MommaGee · 11/01/2017 01:06

Our playpen was great for keeping a tiny roamer safe whilst I needed the look, to prep feeds etc but took over the living room (small pen, small house). Was also great to keep hom contaoned whilat he was on a tube feed

This now at the back of the living room as home to the large toys (push along, rocking dinosaur etc)
Had lovely pile rug under for comfort, absolute bugger when he went through his vomit stage.

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