A good job there aren't many men on MN

[Truckulent]

I think men would be shocked at the level of resentment leveled at them on MN. Almost a seething mass of contempt at times.

I'm a man, been on here for years. And I was surprised by it.

AIBU to think it's a good job there aren't many men on here, or would more men posting help men and women understand each other better?

TFP;
Have you ever heard of Laurie Penny? I compapared her to you earlier in a very Tongue in cheek way - ( she writes brilliantly - despite being a feminist )
I'd link you an article she wrote for the New Statesman recently - it was titled - "the sexy way to die" and was basically about how the breast cancer charities have turned a female Heath issue into a sex game. ( not sure if you are aware of the facebook thing recently where females were encouraged to update their profiles with cryptic messages telling friends where they "like it" ... a female cancer charity dumbing down to these levels. I was amazed so many ( so called ) intelligent women went along with it.
I didn't...
Feminism has a long way to go, and sometimes the glaringly obvious to me passes you by.

('you' = some feminists)

I'll take your comparison as a compliment DP!

Lol - it wasn't meant as one...

I think I might go onto PUnternet and tell them that, as a feminist, I'm not feeling the love on their website.
I'm sure the forum users will immediately tell me I'm welcome, that they will treat me with respect and will change their worldview to accomodate me.

Wish me luck

I think it's easier not to use the F word at all because people use it wrongly. If we just talk about women ensuring things are fair then it's easier to debate it.

Also when women have few legal rights and don't work, never out earn men and are in effect bought and sold as in plenty of cultures on the planet they have less power and are subjected to more abuse. There will be big differences between women on these issues but in my view if you give women money and power and many of us want that and success (it is very sexist to suggest women want to bake cakes and don't want to run BP when many of us do want that power and it's not just a male thing to want that) then they are less likely to be messed around by men or indeed anyone. If your sole role is ironing shirts and clearing up dirt at home then life is dull and secondly you have fewer choices in life.

yes it's easier not to use the F word, because it has become a dirty word.
But calling a rose a cabbage, or being afraid to call it anything at all, is not going to change the beauty of the rose

DP I'm not sure if I really understand your last post but it made me think of this post by Jill at I Blame the Patriarchy.

Just to put it in context, the author is a radfem who has had a double mastectomy.

blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com/2010/10/15/its-gratuitious-erotica-month/

It was this comment by Lady K that made me think specifically of your post DP.

"There was a Facebook thing (aren?t there always Facebook things?) where young ladies were told to post in their status where they liked to put their purse when they entered the room ? ie, ?I like it on the floor,? with no explanation to those outside the loop (ie, men and people who don?t give a hoot about Facebook). Lemme tell ya, titillation ensued!

I tried to explain to my friends who participated why this did absolutely nothing to raise breast cancer awareness, particularly when the nature of such statuses were INTENDED TO BE KEPT SECRET (secret = opposite of awareness, right?), not to mention that ?awareness? is a crock unto itself (Holy shit, did you know that breast cancer is a thing? Crazy, right?!).

But I don?t even carry a purse, so what good is my opinion?"

BC;

I'd link LP's article but I'm on zee fone:
If you're at your laptop google: Laurie Penny - 'the sexy way to die' - and you'll get it. well worth reading.

Arf arf at Sakura!

I think I love Dittany too!

CommanderDrool - we can do much more than just helping women to leave, don't you think? There are some fairly simple things we can do to stop the abuse from happening in the first place.

Yes, I realise that many men say that they don't abuse. Lundy Bancroft says that in his book. My ex would have considered himself utterly blameless as he punched my walls, screamed at me and threw things around my house (as obviously it was all my fault!).

There is much we can do to tackle the root causes of it and I would like to do that.

Wouldn't you think it's preferable to try to stop it from happening in the first place? It would save huge amounts of money - billions of pounds - and would stop women from suffering the abuse in the first place.

Apologies if I have offended you by calling you a non-feminist! I was aiming my questions at those who would not identify themselves as a feminist because I suspect that many who do are already trying to do something about the things I mention above (the ones I know IRL are anyway).

I think you have to use the f word as otherwise this becomes purely about judging the choices that other women make once they have children and takes away any bigger political argument

A ' cultural shift?'

What is that?

Ooh we're back to the snide little digs now are we? Shame, had been a nice change to have a reasonably civilised debate this morning!

sorry wrong thread

what simple things can be done to stop DV?

I ignored it LM - not getting dragged into pathetic childish arguments -

Yep it's playground stuff isn't it and it derails what could be a useful debate for once.

"I think I might go onto PUnternet and tell them that, as a feminist, I'm not feeling the love on their website." - sakura

The metaphor would work except mumsnet is a parenting website and men are welcome here.

I'm not sure if you read the whole thing as its a huge thread now, but it was raised by a male poster who indicated that men were portrayed very badly on MN, and the general consensus later was that it wasnt most posters, but a small number of usual suspects doing it.

A small number of posters then came crashing in...pages 14-18 are particularly good if you want to see a seemingly sensible poster bullied off a thread.

Amusing in itself, but in a further twist no-one was blaming feminists anyway.

< Pokes head round door, seeing it's safe to come in, enters >
< Picks up tables and chairs,and sweeps up broken glass >

Not a yes or no answer then?
I'm more confused than when I started.
Anyway thanks for the responses.

< Shuts door behind him and heads back to real life >

Hey Truck

YABU :o

I'll just reiterate what I said earlier: "In answer to the OP, I don't really mind whether more men join MN or not. But I do find it quite funny - the idea that it's a good job that there aren't more men hear to see the terrible things being said about men as a group "

And add - men are welcome, of course, but they must come to MN in the expectation that a) they won't be the majority for a change (in an online context) and b) they should consider a lower than usual level of dudgeon if some idiots posters express anti-male feeling, and just watch and wait while a lot of other angry female posters tear such comments to shreds.

I've read the thread like this:

OP has a poorly thought out whimsical OP that he doesn't bother self censoring. Some posters decided that men were welcome but some posters, so called 'usual suspects' were anti men. I've no idea who those posters are.

Throughout the thread I am astounded by the anti women sentiment as well as those that wish to deny that we live in a society where men have it all their own way, and successful women are much fewer and further between. I am also shocked by seemingly threatened women that feel the need to attack feminists and the feminist movement, it certainly hasn't done anyone any harm.

Personally I like the woman heavy MN, it's nice to have a particular feel to the whole place. It's nice not to have feelings brushed under the carpet in a 'not important' sort of way. BeenBeta is certainly a welcome member!!

I' d like to see the names named. Who are these usual suspects?

I think it would be very illuminating as far as the listmaker's attitude to women in general goes.

Noyoucan't - meant to answer your question earlier then forgot, sorry.

An MRA is a male rights activist. They think things like having women only days at swimming pools is a sign of the institutionalised prejudice that men suffer.

They can get quite nasty about feminists, mothers, rape victims, domestic abuse victims and well, just about all women really.

They seem to have entirely missed that point that the injustices that men suffer are at the hands of a male dominated system.