Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Original poster

... to think it is wierd for a mum to wash her adult son's hair?

155 replies

HannahHack · 15/11/2010 15:03

Right, I am only on MN as my DP has forbidden me from mentioning it!

He told me that one of his best friends (26yo) has his hair washed by his mum when he goes home. Now, is it just me or is that just f'ed up!?

OP posts:

LeQueen · 15/11/2010 19:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onepieceoflollipop · 15/11/2010 19:43

sheep your example is different imo as you were in a fragile physical state and your mother was in a caring role. In fact I thought that was a very loving and caring thing to do. A bit like some of us might care for an elderly relative. (obviously you are not elderly :))

I just think it a bit odd an adult female (mother) washing an adult son's hair but I wouldn't lose sleep over it.

HecateQueenOfWitches · 15/11/2010 19:45

It is weird. Nobody can say it is not. Those of you who are - are wrong! It's weird. - odd, not normal, not usually done. These are facts. Most people do not wash their adult child's hair. That makes washing your adult child's hair not normal, not usually done - weird.

Whether it is wrong is another thing altogether.

But it is certainly weird.

KurriKurri · 15/11/2010 19:50

Clarity - she's no longer with us unfortunately (so I feel a bit bad having written something bad about her) but yes, she was a very very possessive mother. And made things very hard for us.

So I always associate the hair washing with that tendency, I feel uneasy at the idea of trying to make someone dependent on you for basic personal hygiene. Of course I may be the weird one, who knows

sheeplikessleep · 15/11/2010 19:54

onepiece - i agree with you totally. but i guess the only way i could relate to it was in that instance (which i think is very different, given i was having difficulty holding a full bottle of shampoo without feeling weak ). and all i could say is that it made me feel looked after and cared for and did remind me of the mother child 'giving' relationship from my childhood. i wonder if that's the motivation of the OPs DHs BF? if it is, then it's weird.

2rebecca · 15/11/2010 20:17

I think it's odd because surely most people (especially blokes) just wash their hair when having a shower and you don't want your mum in there with you!
I can't imagine my husband genteelly bending over the sink fully clothed to have his hair washed by his mum.
My son stopped wanting me to wash his hair when he was about 11, and only let me go on for that long because he's a bit idle.
Normal blokes hate having their hair washed anyway.

alemci · 15/11/2010 21:08

i think what is weird about it is that washing hair is something you would do for a child or someone infirm or if you go to the hairdresser.

When a child hits puberty they usually want to be independent and have privacy and not have their mother washing their hair. I may be wrong.

I remember though that my dad liked my mum washing his hair for him but that is slightly different between spouses i think.

2rebecca · 15/11/2010 21:12

Do some blokes not go to barbers then? Maybe Scotland is stuck in a time warp. Both my current husband and ex went to the barbers and are usually only there for about 15 minutes and half of that is spent queuing. Son now goes to barbars with his dad because "that's where men go".
I find it odd some women find barbers outdated.
I'd probably go to the barbers (if I wasn't terrified I'd end up with a number 2 all over) as I love the not having to book but just turn up philosophy, and the fact that it only takes a few minutes and then you can go home and wash it yourself. I hate having my hair washed and faffed on with.

huddspur · 15/11/2010 21:22

I think if its a one off then its probably nothing. I washed my brothers hair the other week after we went to watch some fireworks. There was nothing weird going on, he just smelt like a chimney. If its a regular occurence then I do find it odd.

2rebecca · 15/11/2010 21:38

Why did he not just wash his own hair when he had a shower, or tell you to stand further away? It would never occur to me to offer to wash my brother's hair. Both he and my SIL would think I was mad (or very drunk) if I offered.

huddspur · 15/11/2010 21:40

I did it because he didn't when he had a bath, he is only 11 and resistant to doing it.

LoopyLoops · 15/11/2010 21:45

Creeeepy.

And DH says creepy too.

Both agree with "real men go to the barbers" too.

booyhoo · 15/11/2010 21:46

2rebecca. my post about the barbers was to do with the bit about 'real' men. implying that a man who goes to a hairdressers isn't a real man. i wasn't saying barbers were outdated. just teh idea that that was the only place a man should get his hair done.

Habbibu · 15/11/2010 21:49

Well, if real men go to the barbers, I would have to assume that real men like shit haircuts, if the one that DH used to go to is anything to go by. Real men. ffs.

Valpollicella · 15/11/2010 21:51

I think this is the bestest, weirdest thread I have ever read on MN

booyhoo · 15/11/2010 21:52

@ habbibu.

2rebecca · 15/11/2010 21:58

Washing an 11 year old's hair is fair enough. I forget some mums are so much younger than me (feels very old)that they'd have brothers younger than my son.

RoxieP · 15/11/2010 22:13

Habbibu - I was being tongue in cheek. Ok, so there may be nothing wrong with a man going to the hairdressers. There is however something a little bit wrong with a 26 year old grown man getting his hair washed by his mum!

nameymcnamechange · 15/11/2010 22:21

Of course its deeply weird. Am amazed that you need to ask.

Am roffling at the excuses people are giving for why it is not strange.

My 9 year old dd washes her own hair in the shower and I don't expect to be washing my 7 y/o ds's hair for too much longer.

26??? - its bloody freaky.

MissMarjoribanks · 15/11/2010 22:30

My DH rues the day he let it slip that his mother still washed, combed and blow dried his hair (into a bouffant style) at the age of 14.

I took the piss mightily.

I still remind him of it occasionally to his total mortification.

So yes, its wierd.

SkeletonFlowers · 15/11/2010 22:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ormirian · 16/11/2010 08:56

I want to know why it's weird. I am assuming this isn't happening in the shower or bath as the OP didn't say it was.

Is it because it has some sort of sexual link? Because any sort of physical contact with an adult male is sexual? Even your own son. In which case I think you are all freaks! And would it be OK to wash an adult DD's hair? If yes then I am even more convinced you are all freaks.

Is it because it's a sensual thing? But eating a good meal is also a sensual experience. I intend to be cooking for my DC from time to time when they are adults and I hope it will be a pleasant sensual experience

I have more sympathy with the 'lazy sod, he should be washing his own hair' sentiment. Especially if she is also going a lot of other things for him still. If that is the case he needs to grow up and take responsibility for himself. But if this is the only thing she does for him I really can't see he is being that lazy.

In short I think there are a lot of weird hang-ups on this thread.

Numberfour · 16/11/2010 09:00

ew. reminds me of a man i dated for a short while whose mum used to run his bath for him.......

SonicMiddleAge · 16/11/2010 09:16

You think hair's weird,one of the guys in my shared accomadation 2nd yr uni used to go home and have his TOENAILS clipped by his mum...

diddl · 16/11/2010 09:27

"I want to know why it's weird."

I just think it´s weird because the guy is capable of doing it himself.

Flip

1 2 3 4 5 6 7

Swipe left for the next trending thread