to be so upset about racist/snobbish/cuntish neighbours?

[EricNorthmansMistress]

DH and I were served notice from our last flat due to damage to carpets and walls, which we paid over the odds to have cleaned/painted and which were good as new in the end. This was pretty much because we have a toddler, the LL had gone with us because the market was terrible, then when it picked up she wanted us out in favour of professionals sharers. Fair dos, though stressful and expensive.
We couldn't find anywhere suitable in the time so stayed with friends/family/ILs for TWO months. It was fucking hard, but in that time we found our ideal house, and finally moved in last weekend. I bloody love it, it's huge, next to fields, just lovely. We're so happy and pleased.
Then this morning the agent calls us...the neighbours, on the detatched side (shared drive) have emailed to complain about us. We have been parking on the shared part of the drive. This is true, we didn't realise. We have kept the van on our side and my car in the middle (though never blocking their vehicles in, or anything else). Of course, now we know, we will stop. But this is not all...they have also complained about our DS 'screaming' in the garden (he's not a screamer, it would have been laughing/shrieking with laughter) and other things the agent deemed too unreasonable to mention.

The reason I say racist is because DH and his mate were unloading last friday, they are both arab and DH is black, he also wears clothes from his own country so looks quite different! they were chatting away in arabic, nosy bugger sticks his head out of the door to see what's happening, DH said 'hello' and he ignored him - full on blanked him. I knew at that moment they were racist, but I think they are also snobs due to us having a big van/being renters/not PLU.

Can I add (before people say it) our last neighbours were disappointed that we were leaving as 'we were such easygoing neighbours' and we have done literally nothing, apart from the parking issue, to annoy them since moving in. No loud music, no shouting, no leaving the bins in the wrong place, NOTHING. I'm seriously upset. I actually cried on the phone to the agent as I felt we were being victimised and harassed.

Put a note through the door apologising for the parking misunderstanding. They then have no reason to slag you off to the Agents anymore.

They probably are racists and snobs and unless they do anything unlawful and act on their prejudices, leave them to it.

I think your agent will know that the problem is with your neighbours and not you. What sort of person e-mails a letting agent about parking rather than speaks to the neighbour?
And the 'too unreasonable to mention' stuff - I think the agents got their number.

You sound very defensive. is it possible your last LL asked you to leave because of the mess you made of the carpets and walls?
OTOH, your neighbour sounds like a PITA. It is much easier to come and knock at your door and ask you to move your van than email or phone an agent.
As far as the screaming, depending on your neighbour's age, he may be less tolerant of children than you. I know my FIL over reacts when DD laughs or shrieks, but she is a child.

YANBU to be upset but don't let them ruin this new exciting house for you.

Well I'd get the estate agent to put in writing the things that are too unreasonable to mention
then if things get worse you can go to the police

Isn't it racist to call your husband black and his friends arabs?

Yes Kreecher, that is why they asked us to leave. I know that. I'm just pointing out that we have had a rough time of it lately with renting and were so pleased and relieved to have found somewhere lovely and now it feels soured :(

BigWelt, the OP says both are Arab and DH is black.....not sure what you are trying to say.

How can it be racist to say what are facts?

Yes,I'd want the full lot written down, as I sadly think the nit picking will continue!!

Now I'm getting confused. This morning it was racist to call someone a shouty black woman

Excuse me for being thick

I'm not seeing anything racist in what went on (just ignoring someone doesn't make you racist, regardless of who you are ignoring), but they do sound like quite vile neighbours.

I'd request the full information from the agent, it sounds like, going forward, you might need it if things turn really nasty.

bigwelt you are extraordinarily thick

The descriptive term is not derogatory - unless it is an unnecessary description that adds nothing to what you are trying to convey.

No Bigwelt
It is racist to assume that two arab men are up to no good/going to damage your car/insert prejudice as appropriate and it's damn racist to blank your new neighbour when he says hello for no discernable reason other than the fact that he's a different ethnicity and background to you.

Bigwelt are you trying to be funny or are you...er... a little obtuse?

In a way it seems horribly unfair that neighbours can complain to LLs/agents about tenants.

Obviously if you're a LL and your tenants are trashing the place, it would be fair enough for the neighbours to bring this to your attention. But this isn't the case here.

If you were owner occupiers, who would they have complained to?

"it's damn racist to blank your new neighbour when he says hello for no discernable reason other than the fact that he's a different ethnicity and background to you."

That would be racist if you knew that's the reason, but you don't so it seems like a bit of a leap.

They didn't call them arabs/black (although that would have been racist if it was apropos of nothing at all), they came out of their house to check what was going on, and on seeing my husband unloading furniture into the house, blanked him when he said hello. Now they may not be racist, they may just have no social skills, but considering I had introduced myself to the woman earlier in the day, along with my pale skinned DS, and she had been perfectly polite, I'm thinking there was another reason. It's a sad fact that plenty of people are innately mistrustful of BME people and/or arabs and it's not a big leap to assume that the race element was a factor in his extraordinary rudeness.

I would ask the Estate Agent to put in writing the "unreasonable" remarks.

It may be that they complained you left the hall lights on and it is an irritation or that you slam the door too loudly when ypu leave in the morning.

Alternatively (and I suspect this may be nearer the truth given the EA's reluctance to tell you exactly what they said whilst expressing their unreasonableness) they may have complained that they don't like living next door to someone who is clearly a terrorist.

Whichever it is best to have it spelt out in case of further difficulties.

mayorquimby, on the face of it, what other reason do you think there could be for 1) blanking my DH and 2) making unfounded and malicious complaints to our letting agent? I'm genuinely interested, I wish they weren't racist, I've really never come up against this before and it has upset me massively.

It's likely they are racist, but you have no grounds to accuse them of it on the evidence you have. I'd bet my entire bank balance you're right though Eric. :(

But ENM you don't actually have any evidence they are racist other than because they are of a different ethnicity to you husband and his friends.