to be so upset about racist/snobbish/cuntish neighbours?

[EricNorthmansMistress]

DH and I were served notice from our last flat due to damage to carpets and walls, which we paid over the odds to have cleaned/painted and which were good as new in the end. This was pretty much because we have a toddler, the LL had gone with us because the market was terrible, then when it picked up she wanted us out in favour of professionals sharers. Fair dos, though stressful and expensive.
We couldn't find anywhere suitable in the time so stayed with friends/family/ILs for TWO months. It was fucking hard, but in that time we found our ideal house, and finally moved in last weekend. I bloody love it, it's huge, next to fields, just lovely. We're so happy and pleased.
Then this morning the agent calls us...the neighbours, on the detatched side (shared drive) have emailed to complain about us. We have been parking on the shared part of the drive. This is true, we didn't realise. We have kept the van on our side and my car in the middle (though never blocking their vehicles in, or anything else). Of course, now we know, we will stop. But this is not all...they have also complained about our DS 'screaming' in the garden (he's not a screamer, it would have been laughing/shrieking with laughter) and other things the agent deemed too unreasonable to mention.

The reason I say racist is because DH and his mate were unloading last friday, they are both arab and DH is black, he also wears clothes from his own country so looks quite different! they were chatting away in arabic, nosy bugger sticks his head out of the door to see what's happening, DH said 'hello' and he ignored him - full on blanked him. I knew at that moment they were racist, but I think they are also snobs due to us having a big van/being renters/not PLU.

Can I add (before people say it) our last neighbours were disappointed that we were leaving as 'we were such easygoing neighbours' and we have done literally nothing, apart from the parking issue, to annoy them since moving in. No loud music, no shouting, no leaving the bins in the wrong place, NOTHING. I'm seriously upset. I actually cried on the phone to the agent as I felt we were being victimised and harassed.

YABU.

I let out my house and if my tenants create problems I have asked my neighbours to go to the Letting Agent to deal with it as I don't want my neighbours having to live with an atmosphere, or to let me know so that I can get the LA to tackle it.

My house also has a shared drive (my drive, they have right of way) and it has caused huge problems with my previous neighbours in the past, and was a major source of irritation. It could be that the neighbours assumed you had been told where you could and couldn't park, and that you were ignoring what you had been told. It is not unreasonable to assume that your parking would have been pointed out to you, and that is irritating in itself.

I don't think that the neighbours have been racist; I was blanked by a friend tonight - she evidently had other things on her mind. This could have been the case here. I think you are being a tad extreme with the language you use about your neighbours and you seem intent on labelling them. I don't think you are being victimised or harassed either. If the neighbours are older then they would go to the Letting Agent rather than tackling you directly, as that is what that generation do.

Oh blimey - still going. Well there are differences of opinion! I am glad that there are some people who understand how you can just 'know' that someone is being racist, and how insidious it can be. And empathise with the feeling that your neighbours are out to get you - because that is how it feels, and feel really undeserved. I pulled up today and felt self conscious opening my door in case they were watching. It's them who have created a horrible feeling by going straight to the agents and complaining about things that they should not have complained about (whatever they are).

I also accept that they might not be, they might just be crabby, curmudgeonly and anti-social, however I don't think so. The man came out of his house by the way, walked past my DH, looked at his car (while they were clearly unloading our belongings) and ignored my DH who made eye contact and said hello. There is no way he didn't see him, even if he didn't hear him.

I was thinking again about this and whatever their motives they have deliberately tried to cause us trouble by complaining about not only the parking but various other things that were deemed so unreasonable that the agent didn't want to share them. They clearly have taken against us as neighbours for some reason, whether it's because they don't like arabs, they don't like vans, they don't like children or they don't like young families - whatever the reason I think they were completely out of order in the way they went about it. It's really not about the parking, that is sorted, and would have been sorted in 5 minutes if they had talked to us, or even put a note under our door instead of sending one to the letting agents. So thanks, DH has persuaded me to try to forget about it and I'm trying.

'It's them who have created a horrible feeling by going straight to the agents and complaining about things that they should not have complained about (whatever they are).'

See my post above - they have done exactly what I have asked my neighbours to do if they have an issue with my tenants. If you don't know what they've complained about, how do you know that they shouldn't have complained about it? If something were to be upsetting my neighbours, I hope they would contact either the Letting Agent or me to sort it. However trivial it may seem to you, it may be a big deal to them.

I dont think blanking somebody means they are automatically racist, rude yes but otherwise you're jumping to conclusions.

If you were given notice to move out of your last place due to your child causing considerable damage (toddlers can be a handful but dont usually wreck houses to the extent of being served notice) then perhaps you dont realise the noise levels of your child and what a neighbour would consider to be reasonable.

From their point of view the new neighbours have a nosy child and a van parked on their property, not the best start to a neighbourly relationship.

Kill the miserable b*ggers with kindness, I'd take a bunch of flowers around, pretend you know nothing about their complaints of "screaming" and other rubbish and apologise for mistakenly parking on the shared area.

"We're terribly sorry for not realising that was a shared area, won't happen again, don't understand why the agent never told us" huge smile and walk away.

Take comfort in their squirming.

Scaryteacher, the reason I don't know what else they complained about is because th agents deemed it unreasonable and chose not to tell us as it was nothing that we needed to be spoken to about. Happymumofone, the damage was marks to the carpet and crayon on the wall both of which were completely eradicated at our expense. Our neighbours at that place expressed disappointment that we were leaving as we were such easygoing neighbours. I promise you we are not bad neighbours to have. Also happyteacher, it's fair that they contact the agent if they prefer to, although I think it's not very neighbourly. However they complained about more than the parking issue, the agent implied it was several other issues that they considered not reasonable complaints so would not share with us. I'm wracking my brain to imagine what they could be and cannot. No loud music, no shouting, no mess outside the house, nothing. It's clear they have it in for us and were trying to cause us problems. There is no other way to interpret it I don't think.