To not want my 11yr old DD highlight her hair?

[nookiebearisevil]

DD1 11 has been nagging for about 6 months to have higlights put in her gogeous(to me) light brown hair. Her best friend has been having hers done for a couple of years . Hers are of the peroxide white blonde variety. DD is asking for a caramel colour and is making out I am the worst Mum in the world but 11 is way too young right?

Bloody hell YANBU 100%

I would never let an 11yr old get highlights and I think it looks disgusting on any little girl.

My hair dresser says they can't colour the hair of children under 16 legally. I have no idea if this is true but they are a very large chain and won't do it.

The hairdresser is adamant that it is not good for their hair.

This would be a crime!!! (probably not officially but you know what I mean..!)

Nookie - stick to your guns. She's too young for all of that crap. There was a poster a couple of months ago asking the same, but her daughter was a bit older (13 maybe?) - she decided to go ahead and get it done for her after all the replies

You might as well be 'the worlds worst Mum' over this - if you give into this she'll only find something else to beat you with and it escalates each time!

My dd (11) has her hair highlighted. She has it done once a year and it looks really natural. The hairdresser does it and it is not illegal.

Her natural colour is dark blond and she has blond highlights. It just gives her natural colour a bit of a lift.

DD2 wanted hers done from about 10 as her best friend had it done, she was allowed a few months before turning 14.

Ha ha yes, you will always be the worlds worst mum! as will we all

Its not illegal unless it has changed very recently, I always had my hair highlighted from Yr 7 onwards - my mum told me that going to high school was the cut off point when I could decide what I wanted to do with my hair. It didn't last for that long, I've died it dark brown for ages now .
I'd probably let her TBH but obviously you know your daughter the best. In my case I really hated my hair colour (nothing to do with peer pressure, I just didn't like it) and it was a massive relief when I could finally change it.
Just a look at what your daughters perspective could be! Obviously I could be totally off base with that but just from my experience. Talk to her and ask her why she wants it highlighted, it might give you a better idea of whether or not to definitely say no.

11yo is borderline, but not terrible. Is she just 11 or almost 12?

Can you placate her with a home dye - not highlights but something like the Casting Gloss range. I use it and it looks very natural.

Yanbu- I had to wait until I was 13 when my friend had peroxide at 10!
The upkeep is waaay expensive and you'll be the one paying for it

this is the one I use - it is free from ammonia and gives a shimmery look, like natural highlights.

Uggmum - but why do you or does she, think that at 11 her hair needs 'a lift' - she's 11.... honestly, not getting at you, I just don't understand why an 11 year old would need colour in her hair to feel good about herself?!

Mind you.... not sure I'm one to talk, I used litres of WitchHazel trying to erase lighten my freckles!!

Its not illegal, but there are hairdressers who are probably not insured for it. Others will be.

Its up to you, I honestly think there comes an age where they will do it anyway (depends on whether they have money of their own, travel alone etc and can drop in to Superdrug on the way home)...if my daughter got to the stage where she might do it anyway then I'd rather she had it done professionally.

Doesn't mean you should - it is difficult for children when their friends have things and they dont. Its a reasonable life lesson, but it is a hard one to learn and you will bear the brunt of the blame.

Thanks for the replies.
Mme she was 11 in Sept so still in primary I think that what makes it seem too soon for me.Thanks for the link.

Musicmadness I totally get where you are coming from I had huge issues with my eyebrows when younger and understand the link to self esteem.Think it may have more to do with wanting to be like her mates though to be honest.

My 12 year old had lowlights put in a couple of weeks ago and they look fabulous.

The thing to consider is, and you know your daughter best, is whether restricting what you allow her now will have a deterimental effect on her later - is she likely to go and get pink streaks put in in a fit of pique?

I tend to agree that 11 is too young, I held out till dd was 12, but it's not horrifically young tbh. Find a hairdresser you like/trust and go with her if you do decide to allow it and try to have a quick word with her beforehand.

x-post - definitely not in primary school.

No hair dyeing in our house till 16 and then its DIY. I have my hair coloured and highlighted at the hairdressers because I don't want to have grey hair but I am certainly not paying for teenagers that already have fabulous hair.

2 of DD's friends have had colours and highlights put in their hair. DD fortunately has never asked, I'd never allow it!

Hmm, think I would make her wait until she goes into secondary school then.

Can you let her put a temporary colour in over the Christmas holidays, as a Special Treat?

(do Special Treats still work at age 11yo?)

SandStorm what's the matter with pink streaks? So long as they are in an environment when it doesn't matter such as a sixth form college or university.

You don't have to give into things for 11 year olds because you are scared of what they might do later

i am flabbergasted that anyone is letting their children have dyed hair at this age.

I put forward the primary school argument and got "so if I had been born a week earlier it would be ok?" tried not to laugh though.

(and i should say that i would tend to encourage pink streaks at 16, because that is a time of experimentation etc, and wanting to stand apart. not fit in with a bunch of primped 11 year old princesses).

I'd tell her to wait till high school.

Dying hair is v popular now. It's not like when we was young.