To not want my 11yr old DD highlight her hair?

[nookiebearisevil]

DD1 11 has been nagging for about 6 months to have higlights put in her gogeous(to me) light brown hair. Her best friend has been having hers done for a couple of years . Hers are of the peroxide white blonde variety. DD is asking for a caramel colour and is making out I am the worst Mum in the world but 11 is way too young right?

[kittya]

bleaching does dry it out though, doesnt it?

[borderslass]

yes it does when DD2 got hers done it was brilliant as she didn't need to wash it every day she used to have awfully greasy hair.

[scattermummy]

I own a salon and i also have a dd almost 11.I have said that dd can have them done when she is 16.She would have them now.I do not allow kids under 14 to have it done.My daughter always wants her hair straightening,which i allow on birthday parties ect,however,ghds and dyeing wreck hair ,and are also expensive.My mum recently gave me a pearl of wisdom.Iwanted my ears pierced at 11\12 and was told "not until i was 16".She was apparently advised by a friend that if she gave in to this then there would soon be something else.As predicted ,my focus never got beyond the earings and i think that this was good advice

[inchhighprivateeye]

I saw a little girl of about 10 today in town with highlights and it really made my jaw drop. It's just not appropriate for a child, makes them look like they are trying to be a teenager, and their parents look like fools with more money than sense.

[onceamai]

YANBU. Personally I think 11 is far too young, your dd is still a child. I'm surprised nobody has raised the question of the expense because once highlights are done once, she will surely want them repeated. We live in London so perhaps things are more expensive now but I have a 1/2 head every four months and a cut and blow dry every two months. At a very reasonable salon that comes to 450 pa.

When she can pay for it she can have it done.

[Earthgirlzero]

My beautiful DSS has been colouring her wonderful chestnut brown hair since she was 14. Six months ago she got a cheap dye and it turned out peroxide yellow - such an obvious mistake and with very pale skin she looks pretty rough. Her DM has made her wait and not paid for this to be rectified and hairdresser has told her she should let it fade, grow out a bit so she has had to live with it.... a lesson learned I believe... but yes I feel 11 is too young but a wash-in wash-out colour couldnt harm could it?

[pointydog]

I have seen a fair few 12/13ish year olds who are quite happy to just let their highlights grow out and have two tone hair for a while.

No need to worry about cost.

[uggmum]

My dd does not look like a wag. If so, she is a Boden clad one. She had her ears pierced at 10. Her hair looks very natural and you can hardly tell it's been done. It just highlights the natural blond in her hair. It is not a fast track to Botox or a Boob job. That's just bonkers! It is only hair!

She doesn't play with dolls but she does play with horses constantly.

I really feel that you are stereotyping. However, she does have the occasional fruit shoot and likes a chicken pasty from Greggs!

[AitchTwoOh]

i think the point re botox or boob jobs is that it is innappropriate for young children to be so concerned as to their looks at that age, and even less appropriate for their parents to acquiesce to their desires. a discussion about vanity, about looks, about the importance of being oneself the way we are made etc might be more useful in the longer term. it just establishes the boundary there and then.

[nookiebearisevil]

Thanks for all the replies. I have decided to let her wait a while yet. We have compromised on having it cut into a slightly more "trendy" style.I think she finds it a bit diffficult as most of her friends are in secondary already and she sees them changing and wants to keep up.

[emptyshell]

You'd be surprised - I've known 5 year olds have mohican/Beckham cuts with it bleached, or the skinhead+peroxide fringe look.

Want to be careful or she'll discover the teenage means of frying the crap out of her hair known as Sun-In.