To not want my 11yr old DD highlight her hair?

[nookiebearisevil]

DD1 11 has been nagging for about 6 months to have higlights put in her gogeous(to me) light brown hair. Her best friend has been having hers done for a couple of years . Hers are of the peroxide white blonde variety. DD is asking for a caramel colour and is making out I am the worst Mum in the world but 11 is way too young right?

My DD's talk about people having "year 8 hair" this means up until year 8 girls usually have long straight hair in pony tails and then suddenly as they go into year 9 "discover" hairstyles. Obviously we are behind the times if highlights are the done thing in primary school.

DD1(19) does actually have completely pink hair but she's at university at the moment and DD2(17) has a reddish semi permanent colour that her friend did for her. A bit more age appropriate I think.

It does seem to be all the rage at the minute. A bit like spiral perms when I was a teenager mind you I cried for a week after coming out of the hairdressers looking lke Annie

I have nothing against pink streaks - I think they look great as long as they're done properly. The colour wasn't my point.

Chippingin, It has nothing to do with feeling good about yourself. My dd is a happy confident child. She liked her hair in summer when it was really blond due to the sun and was disappointed when it faded in winter.

She asked to have it highlighted and I agreed. It wasn't about 'need' it was just something she fancied.

I colour my hair and didn't think it was a big deal.

I can remember using a home dye kit at about age 14yo and being terribly disappointed that it did absolutely nothing.

My DD is only 8yo so I really cannot say for sure, but I think that by the time she is 12 or 13 I would allow her to make the decision herself what to do with her hair.

Nothing to do with letting girls be girls. It is not to be sexy or attractive to men. I dye my hair cause I like being blonde, not to look good for my man.

I'm at some of the replies on here!

Why, why, why would you ever allow an 11 or 12 year old to die their naturally, gorgeous shiney hair!?

All I can say is hairdressers must be a hell of a lot cheaper for all the children hair dyers than they are where I live?!

Because in the grand scheme of things - is it really that big a deal?

i think that encouraging that kind of vanity at such a young age is really bonkers, tbh.

Yes it is a big deal. Its telling a child yes you're right you don't look ok as you are I'll pay for someone to fix it.

"The thing to consider is, and you know your daughter best, is whether restricting what you allow her now will have a deterimental effect on her later - is she likely to go and get pink streaks put in in a fit of pique?"

and this reasoning is really faulty, imo.

Why not buy her a sachet of semi? Didnt they used to be called toners, you got them free on the front of Jackie? I was allowed from about 14. They only last afew weeks. Im sure they must have something similar.

Bleaching on such a young child is a crime (if you know what a mean!!) I find it really sad. Its the last thing they should be thinking about. It ruins your hair. Im so glad I went darker from blonde it has saved me loads of money and it looks healthier.

We are obviously kindred spirits Zukiecat

Well thinking back I was about 14 when I had my hair permed so I guess thats the age I'd perhaps consider it really.

But it would be the financial upkeep that would bother me to be honest.

I'm sure when I was 11 and still at primary school I was still climbing trees and covered in mud most of the time. It makes me feel really sad that today 11 yr olds care about getting their hair highlighted, and angry at our society and media. And I'm not that old!

I don't have highlights now (and I miss them) because I can't make the financial commitment to keep getting my roots done! Maybe tell her she'll be paying for it out of birthday / christmas / allowance money constantly and see if that puts her off.

Webwiz, it was not about my dd not looking right. It is not about vanity. She just fancied lighter hair and it was no big deal and nothing deeper than that.

She still climbs trees, plays out and gets dirty but with lighter coloured hair.

It cost £40 and she only has it done once a year. She doesn't wear make-up and barely looks in a mirror, doesn't take life seriously and sees fun in everything. It's just hair, nothing more.

I turn a blind eye when DD produces lip gloss before a party and she is 8. But if she asked for highlights I would laugh my arse off before saying 'No' . Actually 'no way. Come back when yuou are 16'

I guess we each have a line. Highlight at 11 is a mile over mine. She is a little girl not a wag in waiting

it was just hair. now it's hair + hair dye and you have an insight into what the mothers of her friends think...

and of course now there is the question as to what you will do when she 'just fancies' bigger tits?

I agree Pagwatch - its just miles(and miles) over my line.

It's a slippery slope to boob jobs and botox...

But seriously, I wouldn't let my DD1 highlight her hair - she's 12 next month and is beautiful as she is. Surely at this age they shouldn't be so concerned about their appearance? I think that comes later, at about 13-14 onwards.

tell her she doesnt want to be a sheep. Blonde highlights are boring, everyone looks the same with them.

Has she got her ears pierced? what age was that allowed (Im just curious for myself)

Honestly, it will cost you a fortune. If I was a hair dresser I would feel very uncomfortable ruining such young hair.

Hair is a dead appendage, so whatever you do with it is no big deal, but even so I would not let a primary school girl get her hair bleached.