to want to stay home in bed with my 2 week old?

[Mirabelle77]

Got mil staying at moment been out shopping , coffee etc for last 3 days been good to practise getting out with pfb.

However we struggled to bf and I am using shields as he would not bf without and have been expressing for all these trips and sometimes when he flails and screams at breast have expressed and given bottle.

Bf got off to a poor start as had to go to another hospital after birth as retained placenta and also lost a litre of blood so didn't spend first few hours together then was very weak and hospital gave him formula in a cup. I kept trying to bf , next night went back to mlu and they helped sooo much. He lost nearly 12% of his weight but has put on at last weigh in.

So the question is finally mil wants to go on yet another trip out tomorrow but my left boob seems to have dried up and I have no expressed milk saved , feel like staying at home and feeding. I feel like she will just think I am being lazy but we never seem to have cuddle time or snooze time in the day since she got here as she seems to have him most of the time.

The headaches could be a sign of many things, I would be concerned they might be due to anaemia. Did you see my question about whether you had a blood transfusion/iron levels checked? With a PPH like that I would have thought you would be very anaemic without a transfusion/iron tabs.

I took iron tablets just finished them last night, was borderline for a transfusion but was just over the level that needed one. Is it very abnormal to lose all baby weight this quickly ? I am a 14/16?

Sorry not read all the threads but I wouldn't worry too much about not being very successful feeding out and about. DD and I really struggled with BFing and it took about 10 weeks to get it sorted so I could latch her on discreetly. I also bought a hootie hider (big bit of fabric!) to use when family were around or we were feeling a bit exposed. I didn't use it for long but it was great when DD and I first started BFing out and about. You might also find feeding rooms in large department stores or new shopping centres. I used them loads at the start.

Definitely take your baby and snuggle down in bed. You will regret it if you don't take a stand and do what you want. You can't get these early days back.

Why have you finished your iron tablets? Have you had your levels checked again? I would keep taking them until you have been told your levels are back to normal, 2 weeks isn't long, and anaemia can make you feel rotten. It's not necessarily the numbers, it's how it makes you feel IYSWIM.

Not sure about the weight loss, I lost mine very quickly indeed, but then I was severely ill so don't know if that's a helpful comparison!

I lost baby weight v quickly, about same size as you, but then I don't think I put much on in the first place.

And YANBU for staying in bed feeding, but can see that the might of MN has already settled that one... You are keeping another human being alive by bf - which is amazing! Shopping trips etc can wait a bit.

I took the dose the hospital prescribed 2 a day for two weeks so have no more . Will venture downstairs to get some pate on toast and let mil have little cuddle as ds Asleep after feeding on left boob too and in normal hold not lying down.

OK, well please either ring your GP and ask for a repeat prescription, or try and get an appt and get your levels checked again. I'm guessing you're still bleeding lochia, it's very possible that you're still anaemic. That will make you feel rubbish if you are.

Please tell your DH that you need to relax and take it easy with your baby - 2 weeks is so early! You are recovering from a traumatic birth and all you should be doing is feeding your baby and sleeping. Hope you feel a bit better soon.

Stay home and feed. Tough luck what she thinks. Let her run around tidying the house and doing laundry if she needs something to do. YAsoNBU.

Hope you feel better soon and the milk picks up. You're in the early stages still so supply not yet matching demand, so your instinct to stay tucked up feeding is very sound.

I lost about a stone and a half in a week but I am big. I just didn't have the inclination to eat. Never happened to me before :o

I'm sure others have said, but you probably need a duvet day to build up the milk supply. Lots of cuddles with baby, someone bringing you food and drink should be on prescription for breast feeding mums.

Once she has had her cuddle make sure you take the baby back with a cheery 'We're going to go back upstairs now for some more bonding cuddle time, if you do go out could you get me...such and such'

be firm!

And say no to going out for tea. Tell DH you will be spending a few days getting back to bonding.

God I didnt leave the house for 3 weeks after dd was born . Have you read about the Red Tent? Many Asian cultures believe that for the first 40 days the new mother should stay at home and rest with the baby while her mother/MIL look after her and deal with food/housework/everything else non baby related. My friend caused tidal waves of outrage amongest older ladies when she took her newborn for a walk in Malaysia .

Stay home and feed your baby (congratulations on LO).

My MIL was similar - had a strange need to push him up the street in a pram and hold her all the time when I was still bonding myself. In the end I barricaded myself and LO in bedroom and ignored her for the duration, wishing only that I had done it the second she arrived.

She will get over it and have lots of memories of LO in the future.

You will remember the bliss of being in the peace of your room, just you and LO for years to come.

Put a chair against door if need be and stay in bed till saturday.

sorry, her not him. Not sure why I am suddenly confused whether DD is DS...

Poor you Mirabelle. Please stay in and ask mil to do a few jobs for you. You need to rest and build up supply, not trotting round the shops with mil.

Was there any discussion before baby arrived as to what she might do when she was staying?

YANBU. Your MIL is B VVVV U.

TBH I don't think expressing in the first few weeks is a good idea if BFing, because a) can lead to nipple confusion for baby and more importantly b) your milk supply can be compromised as you need the baby to feed often at this stage to stimulate it.

I did go out I first few weeks but I was happy to BF in starbucks etc (3rd DC, he latched on well straight away, me having BF both DD and DS1). If you are not able/happy to BF while out you should stay in.

Get into bed with baby, send MIL out shopping for all the things you need, including stuff for dinner. Make sure you eat properly.

re the baby weight, i lost mine very quickly with my last 2 pregnancies and was back in my old jeans within weeks. However, breastfeeding makes me hungry and I am not inclined to starve myself for the sake of a dress size or two, so I am no longer in my old jeans and had to buy a size up!

and also, a day (or days) in bed is great for breastfeeding, it worked for me with dd2. Enjoy yourself and don't worry about the housework, it really is not important.

Maybe write a list of stuff you would like to be done, and then anyone who feels like it can do something and cross it off the list. You could bill it as 'a list of stuff for your mum to do when she comes' and it might be enough to bring out your MIL's competetive spirit.

Agree with muser - about mum staying in bed or on sofa. Friends / family bring food. Mum does no cleaning, she just feeds baby and has baths!

Breast pump stays in box as well.

If friend haven't brought food, DH picks up takeaway on way home from work. Or Supermarket delivers ready meals.

Tell her to fuck off.. well, more politely than that, obviously, but it is waaaay out of line on her part.

Go to bed, it sounds like you completely need it and you might just have been confusing baby a bit with bottles and all so best to have a babymoon!

Happy gilmore thanks for the advice but have no lochia so think I will be ok. Mil is currently filling in my cb form for me then going to tesco to post it and buy a few bits. Ds sleeping now , on sofa relaxing.

Although my inlaws really did not understand the babymoon concept. I was trying to get dd to breastfeed by staying in bed with her with no top on whilst they were staying (they descended for a week the day I got out of hospital) and for Christmas bless them they got me a sturdy nightie obviously thinking I didnt have any nightwear!

Coming to this thread late and haven't read past the OP but have to say :( at "we never seem to have cuddle time or snooze time in the day since she got here as she seems to have him most of the time" - that's not good OP.

Am sure many other will have said same but snuggle time is vital for your supply - get ye and your baby to bed!